Controlled Crying

starlite_2 · 24 July 2006 at 3:06PM

Something that causes much debate, I would be interested to hear other experiences.

We have done this with my DS (8 months) since he was around 3 months old, before that I felt he was too small to even bear leaving alone..lol...

He is a very happy baby who is content to sit and play alone, doesn't cry on waking and doesn't cry for milk /dinner /attention anymore.
I have relied on my instinct, feeding him, hugging, changing etc , but knowing when he is crying just for attention or through sleepiness and shouldn't be given it just because he is demanding it.

chatta · 24 July 2006 at 3:16PM

my feeling is that babies dont cry just for the sake of it. Sleepiness means he is tired and maybe just cant fall alseep, like us in this heat. But what can they do they cant get up watch a film make cup of tea, and they cant tell you whats wrong so they cry. My mil used to say it did them good, 'exercised their lungs' but the effect it had on me was worse. Promise they dont grow up to be monsters, they will tell you problem when they are old enough so another couple of years. Whats wrong with attention, we all like that! Like you say rely on your instincts, usually they become bored or just want a cuddle. And I always loved cuddling mine. Try doing that to a 16 year old boy!!! He will tolerate a cuddle but wont sit on my lap anymore. ha ha

Scarlett1 · 24 July 2006 at 3:27PM

starlite at 8 months he is at the right age to teach him basic words, when he is confident enough in a few months time he might even be able to tell you what he wants rather than crying about it, what you will find if you dont use controlled crying is that he will whinge for something rather than tell you what he wants

What I was always told and I think is true, if you pamper to every whim he will rule you're life, I know its hard cause I have a daughter and I wanted to pick her up at every little whim, but I learned to leave it for a few minutes to see if she stopped, and mostly she did

cookiesncream · 24 July 2006 at 3:29PM

I think this is a very emotive subject because parents don't like to hear their baby cry and that's really understandable but crying doesn't always mean they're in pain. Aslong as they're fed, changed, heathly, watered it's not going to damage them in the long run. IMO it has alot to do with the parents need to cuddle - not always what's best for the baby. We have to teach our children how to settle themselves, it's not about just letting them cry, it's about them learning.

starlite_2 · 24 July 2006 at 3:30PM

Sorry I didn't make it fully clear, we have been doing c.c since 3 months and it really works for us , he also seems to recognise the word 'no' , though it doesn't always have effect..lol..

moggins · 24 July 2006 at 3:31PM

I did this with mine too and in reality I should have done it earlier, they recommend from 6 months onwards as before that they really do need feeding in the night etc. It took about 3 days for my DD to catch on but it was such a relief, I went from being a frazzled heap to a nice mummy who was able to cope again.

cookiesncream · 24 July 2006 at 3:35PM

moggins wrote:

they recommend from 6 months onwards as before that they really do need feeding in the night etc.

You can still feed through the night and use controlled crying aslong as you don't go in to feed them while they're still crying but I suppose it depends on each individual baby's routine (or lack of routine sometimes). Glad to hear you had a good epxerience from it tho :T

Scarlett1 · 24 July 2006 at 3:36PM

starlite wrote:

Sorry I didn't make it fully clear, we have been doing c.c since 3 months and it really works for us , he also seems to recognise the word 'no' , though it doesn't always have effect..lol..

sound like you are doing ok with it

starlite_2 · 24 July 2006 at 3:49PM

Thaks scarlett we are..we only come across problems when m.i.l or other 'well meaning' relatives are around that dash to him at the slightest whimper.
He tends to do tiny sobs in his sleep and they will dash in and pick him up, no doubt disturbing him which makes him cry 'proper' iyswim.
Then we are 'told off' (lol) for leaving him when he does this..

jay-1 · 24 July 2006 at 4:02PM

When my grandaughter was quite young her mum spoke to her and used sign langauge at the same time.She was signing for things before she could talk and was able to let us know if she was hungry etc

Poppy9 · 24 July 2006 at 4:12PM

I never used controlled crying with my DD (now 11). She was a generally good baby and only cried if tired, hungry, wet etc. If she cried I gave her attention, even if it was 2am. Listening to her crying would have disturbed me more than getting up and seeing to her. In fact I loved being with her at 2am. She used to have a jolly hour when she was just wide awake and full of chatter (even though she couldn't really speak). We really had the best of her at this time. Also if she was teething we would bring her into our bed to sleep. Maybe we were lucky but we have had no problems with her being clingy, demanding, attention seeking or sleeping in her own room. In fact I can't remember her ever having a tantrum.

Controlled Crying

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