Old Style contraception

Generally people ovulate 14-16 days before their next period, but not always ... my sister fell pregnant on Day 7 of her cycle. Mum said she knew my sister was pregnant within a week of it happening because the cat threw up and she threw up in sympathy.

Hi Not sure how I stumbled across this thread (I was searching for posts relating the Smile Bank's free wine offer...maybe this is a consequence of drinking too much).

However, I can recommend the following method of on contraception which is not available on the NHS so has to be self-funded but the costs involved are quite reasonable.

It can be a little uncomfortable at first & makes walking somewhat difficult but can be safely used for long periods without the fear of Toxic Shock Syndrome and, whilst in place, is guaranteed 100% effective.

It requires the placing of a 2p piece between the knees & keeping it there.

There is a cheaper version at 1p but it is somewhat smaller and tends to be more awkward to keep in place.

The deluxe model costs 10p, it is slightly smaller than the 2p version but comes in an attractive bright silvery finish and is slightly lighter in weight.

For those with chubby knees I would recommend the 50p model. It's the largest and heaviest but has the advantage of having a unique shape so, should it become stuck, it is easily removed using an appropriate tool such as a spanner or adjustable wrench.

For those going out for the evening and require an option which can easily be concealed within a pocket, purse etc there is the 5p version which has a similar appearance to the 10p version but is much smaller than even the 1p version making it unobtrusive & light weight but more fiddley to use. There is also a 20p version which can also be used in these circumstances that is slightly larger with a more funky design but at 4 times the cost of the 5p version could be considered just a little pretentious.

Whilst the above are solely for female use there is a male version which costs £1.

It is heavier, comes in a gold coloured finish but is more durable. The man places it on the bare sole of his foot (either leg will do). It can be held in place by a sterile adhesive dressing (a plaster), which is the most effective, or covered by a sock. Optionally the foot can then be placed in suitable footwear. The methodology is not that important as either will make him limp.

There is a recently introduced unisex version which costs £2 which is very attractive in a gold & silver coloured finish, unfortunately, these are increasingly hard to come by as a number of MSE readers/contributors have recently started to collect and save them for purposes other than that originally intended!

I hope this helps & have a nice day!

thriftlady wrote:

Is this method reliable all year round or only today? :rotfl:

Well it could be used all year round but I thought it particularly appropriate on day like today!

I was having a discussion with my boss at the pub about this and he said that years ago people would cut some bread and put it up there(!) and it would soak up all the babymaking stuff and then you just take it out!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: This tickled me!! Not sure I'd advise on it though!! He said sometimes it was a bug*er to get out! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

My boss is the typical pub landlord with lots of funny stories!!!

As a sometimes overworked midwife I will take on board trevored's method and go to work armed with a big bag of assorted loose change which I will dispense to the proud parents as the leave with their " precious bundle ".

Don't know if this fits in with MARTIN'S Money saving advice though.

Could I reclaim the financial layout from the taxman?