talk me down please
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It is hard, today's complaint was noone took her any food when she was in hospital or visited and dont get me that waitrose chicken again it was tasteless I don't know why you waste your money etc etc etc. OH is demoralised I am using some of my redundancy money to get him that crest ring made it will make him happy, he worshipped his dad.
My dogs are well walked today!0 -
So OH being the lovely man he is called last night to check she was ok and the lack of my visiting was raised OH reminded her that I have been made redundant this week so have been busy with that he has asked me to go with him today.
If I want to make sure he doesn't get too much crap I am going to need to go wish me luck not telling her what I think is going to be hard not telling OH shes an evil cow is equally difficult.0 -
IMO you need to start telling him she is an evil moo & that he will never get answers.
You think it's bad now but it will be worse when she has gone & he'll get answers. Sorry.
Mybe some counselling will help him to realise no of this is his fault.Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.0 -
Good luck my lovely. To both of you.
Don't know how it usually goes - do you end up arguing about what has and hasn't been done? If so, try just agreeing with her or giving sympathy. 'oh dear poor you, hmm that does sound hard.' The trick is to sympathise without admitting fault. Drives manipulative people nuts.
Have you got a nice quiet evening planned? Sounds like you and DH needs some time together. My DH yesterday punched a cushion several times. Helped greatly.
Unfortunately even the people who KNOW their mother is an evil psychopath still don't relish other people saying it and can often push them into defending said spawn of the devil. Such a primeval relationship.
I think counselling could be helpful but unfortunately I don't know how easy it would be to access on the NHS
Met DH to be 2010
Moved in and engaged 2011
Married 2012
Bought a house 2013
Expecting our first 2014 :T0 -
Gingernutty wrote: »cavework, do you honestly have clue here?
Did you not read the part where the old bat had a go at her son for not visiting the hospital when no one told him she was there?
As far as the old b!tch is concerned, there are winners and losers. She has to win every time. Every conversation, every social 'transaction', every argument, every time. She's got to look good and that means someone has to look bad. And that means scapegoat son has to lose.
The idea that she owes anyone for anything is such a joke to her that she won't even contemplate the notion.
All the work mellymoo74 and her OH have put in so far - shopping, visiting, organising hospital appointments - that, as far as she's concerned is her due. No thanks required.
She's probably picked fault with everything done for her so far.
mellymo74 and her OH have to do what's right for them. They've tried and been criticised every step of the way.
Now, the old bat's on her death bed and you can bet she's going to milk that for all it's worth.
and that's the whole point.. you really do not get it!
I am not sympathising with the way she is behaving but I do understand the knock on effect on the still living, once she is dead and buried..
She is playing her son ... but she is going to die .. son can deal with this manipulation any way he pleases BUT son will then have to live with the results of his decisions
If son can say S** his mother and she deserves all she gets then fine
and to answer your question?
Yes I do have a clue .. so try being a bit more polite please
TBH if you have both had enough and.she is really not as ill as she makes out , walk away now .. leave her to it and get on with your lives with a clear conscience0 -
lilmissreading wrote: »Good luck my lovely. To both of you.
Don't know how it usually goes - do you end up arguing about what has and hasn't been done? If so, try just agreeing with her or giving sympathy. 'oh dear poor you, hmm that does sound hard.' The trick is to sympathise without admitting fault. Drives manipulative people nuts.
Have you got a nice quiet evening planned? Sounds like you and DH needs some time together. My DH yesterday punched a cushion several times. Helped greatly.
Unfortunately even the people who KNOW their mother is an evil psychopath still don't relish other people saying it and can often push them into defending said spawn of the devil. Such a primeval relationship.
I think counselling could be helpful but unfortunately I don't know how easy it would be to access on the NHS
Tired, the nurse hadn't been so only little digs today.
There's a smell which I think is related to the hysterectomy (tho it was obviously OH lol) might need to be about when/if the nurse turns up as it has OH worried.0 -
and that's the whole point.. you really do not get it!
I am not sympathising with the way she is behaving but I do understand the knock on effect on the still living, once she is dead and buried..
She is playing her son ... but she is going to die .. son can deal with this manipulation any way he pleases BUT son will then have to live with the results of his decisions
If son can say S** his mother and she deserves all she gets then fine
and to answer your question?
Yes I do have a clue .. so try being a bit more polite please
TBH if you have both had enough and.she is really not as ill as she makes out , walk away now .. leave her to it and get on with your lives with a clear conscience
She isn't. I would but as stated I will not influence OH and to be honest whether he stays or not he is still going to have the guilts he just wouldn't have all this crap to deal with in the meantime. Not my decision is his, my job is to ensure its as easy as possible for him however in order for me to do this I need somewhere to vent.0 -
mellymoo74 wrote: »Tired, the nurse hadn't been so only little digs today.
There's a smell which I think is related to the hysterectomy (tho it was obviously OH lol) might need to be about when/if the nurse turns up as it has OH worried.
That sounds disturbing.
Does that mean another visit tomorrow? How draining for you both Met DH to be 2010
Moved in and engaged 2011
Married 2012
Bought a house 2013
Expecting our first 2014 :T0 -
lilmissreading wrote: »That sounds disturbing.
Does that mean another visit tomorrow? How draining for you both
She's got antibiotics for a residual bladder infection I think its that (doesn't smell like a full on infection does smell like it could be that)
Yep, just like that im sucked back in, doing it for OH
If I can be about he will know that its been mentioned
Bloody stressed and knackered0 -
mellymoo74 wrote: »She's got antibiotics for a residual bladder infection I think its that (doesn't smell like a full on infection does smell like it could be that)
Yep, just like that im sucked back in, doing it for OH
If I can be about he will know that its been mentioned
Bloody stressed and knackered
Probably not drinking enough. Can understand why as must be hideous having to get up after surgery.
How rubbish for you. Will she mind if you take a book or magazine? Assume the nurse can't say what time they'll come and you could be there for longer than hoped? If she did mind would it matter?!Met DH to be 2010
Moved in and engaged 2011
Married 2012
Bought a house 2013
Expecting our first 2014 :T0
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