Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Torry_Quine · 1 July 2018 at 4:37PM

Sleazy wrote: »

There's different stages of grief Torry, and we move through them at different speeds. When you personally are ready, you'll move onto the next stage and not before. Nobody else knows how you are feeling, but we can at least empathise a little!

I've seen from your posts on other threads that you're a caring individual, so it's natural to feel it's unfair now that you have been left alone.

Sometimes life deals us a blow that seems insurmountable at the time.
When you come through it, you'll be stronger.

Your signature here 'inspires' me - thank you and take care.

Thanks. It's so annoying that people keep telling me about having a different, new life when that makes no sense to me.

elsien · 1 July 2018 at 6:12PM

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Thanks. It's so annoying that people keep telling me about having a different, new life when that makes no sense to me.

That is very premature and quite insensitive of people although I'm sure they mean well. I think a lot of us turn into tongue tied idiots with someone who's dealing with a bereavement, me included. Everything I can think of to possibly say just seems so trite.

How has your weekend been? Round this way it's not really the weather for cooking/eating. Hot has turned to humid which does nothing for the energy levels. I hope you're able to manage something, however small.

Note to all Gitdog fans. I have booked and paid for our camping weekend in August.:eek: I'm fairly sure I'm going to regret it but he may pleasantly surprise me.

mellymoo74 · 1 July 2018 at 6:17PM

Brave Elsien
Torry nothing to add just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts

Pyxis · 1 July 2018 at 8:12PM

elsien wrote: »

Note to all Gitdog fans. I have booked and paid for our camping weekend in August.:eek: I'm fairly sure I'm going to regret it but he may pleasantly surprise me.

you must keep a 'blog' on here.......it's bound to be hilarious!

Torry_Quine · 1 July 2018 at 10:38PM

A sunny warm day here but nothing like the temperature down south, was probably high teens. Tomorrow the forecast is 14c.

At church this evening but ended up crying in the toilets again. I can't believe in the words of the songs anymore, far less actually sing them.

Pyxis · 1 July 2018 at 10:44PM

Torry_Quine wrote: »

A sunny warm day here but nothing like the temperature down south, was probably high teens. Tomorrow the forecast is 14c.

At church this evening but ended up crying in the toilets again. I can't believe in the words of the songs anymore, far less actually sing them.

((((((((((()Torry)))))))))))))))

jobbingmusician · 2 July 2018 at 9:02AM

Oh Torry I am sorry. Have you spoken to your minister at all and explained these problems to him?

TamsinC · 3 July 2018 at 4:18PM

I think this is the place to speak - I'm sorry I haven't read everyone elses posts yet but I will do - so sorry if I tread on any ones toes.

I have 3 lovely children. 2 girls and a boy - they girls both have quite severe mental health issues (depression and anxiety) and we as parents have been through the mill over the last few years with them - I have suffered in the past with both myself but nothing of the magnitude they both seem to endure.

My problem now is I just no longer know how to support them and it is getting me down too, and then I feel guilty for feel down and I go round and round in a circle chasing my tail and getting nowhere. DD1 seemed okay for a while, but has a new job and a rented flat and is suddenly not going into work, and they are ringing me to find out where she is and if she is okay. We live 150 miles apart. I cant afford to pay her rent if she doesn't work. She would have to live at home which would mean moving 150 miles away form her very serious boyfriend and that wouldn't help her.

I just don't know what to say to her any more. We clashed when she was a teenager, in that I was a person she thought should be dead (and she planned how to kill me) and I continued to love her as much as possible, and to be there for her and support her as much as I was allowed. We have moved beyond it now, but I still feel she reaches out for me and then rejects everything I try to say or do because it is me saying it. Hubby is as supportive as is possible but isn't a 'talker'. I don't know how to help and am beginning to go under myself now. I am questioning all my parenting choices, trying to find out how it all went wrong, what I did that caused this at the same time as knowing this isn't my fault.

What do I do? How do I help? How do I keep myself sane?

Torry_Quine · 3 July 2018 at 9:28PM

This week is a year since we were told that his xray showed something and the last time he worked. How can that be right?

Today I howled watching The Highland Midwife. I was screaming at him to forgive me for not giving him a child, he would have been a brilliant dad.

I'm crying again posting this.

Curtains closed early again, long days of sunshine are just painful

suki1964 · 4 July 2018 at 12:06AM

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Does anyone have experience of changing doctors when you're not in their catchment area? I really really want to go back to my old GP she fought my corner like no other GP i've had. I feel if i could see her again i might get more support? I'm seeingmjy current GP next week, i'm going to be honest about the fatt that recently i have had suicidal feelings, urges to self harm and havng very paranoid thoughts (possibly, i mean i think there are cameras in streetlights filming me but that might actually be a real thing so don't know if its paranoia). In the past 3 weeks i;ve called the samratains 5 times due to being on the edge and not coping. I honestly dont know what its going to take to be refferd back to the mental health team but i can;t go on like this. I havent seen my gp since feb but in the past 4 months ive been more up and down that a seesaw. Ive been relcutant to go back because they just do nothing and it feels so pointless.

I was in the same boat many years ago, moved out of the catchment area of the most supportive understanding medical professional I have ever had the pleasure to meet. So I went to the senior partner and put my case and he agreed I could stay on the books as long as I signed a disclaimer saying I wouldn't ask for a home visit

So go and ask, you have nothing to lose

Good luck x

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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