Negative Paternity Test

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  • pd001
    pd001 Posts: 871 Forumite
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    kelloggs36 wrote: »
    Okay so now you need to get another test done which is approved by the CSA and THEN you can get your money back.

    It s a lot of money kelloggs36

    I wonder how long it will take the csa to pay that lot back
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
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    I saw this thread earlier and I just wanted to say that yes, you should be claiming your money back from the CSA. Get a proper test done that is acceptable for them.

    The hardest bit is going to be what happens to this poor little boy now. I can imagine that this has been a dreadful shock to you all and if the mother knew about this all along then I am amazed that people can be so spiteful and not have any thought of their child and what this does to them for the future.

    I am reading into your message and I am guessing that the mother will not allow contact if you persue the test but that it does need doing otherwise your husband is paying for a child that is not his and that he has no rights over. Am I right in thinking that she will demand payment in exchange for contact? Does your husband know what he will do in this situation? What an awful situation for you all to be in. I do hope that everything works out well for you. I just wanted to send you my thoughts really, sorry I've nothing constructive to add.
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
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    pd001 wrote: »
    It s a lot of money kelloggs36

    I wonder how long it will take the csa to pay that lot back

    Makes you wonder. They are quick enough to take it from those that are quite happy to pay and be good parents!!
  • iluvfreebies
    iluvfreebies Posts: 812 Forumite
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    its actually pretty straight forwward - when the result has been received by the agency the money will be refunded in a matter of weeks. Am so sorry to hear about the position - I hope they can come to some arrangement for the childs sake

    HTH
    Comp Wins 2011 : Cant wait to start listing everything:j:j:j
  • Hawkmoon69
    Hawkmoon69 Posts: 46 Forumite
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    pd001 wrote: »
    I would want every penny back! With interest!
    Oh right, and what would you tell the poor kid who just discovered his 'dad' dont want to know him any more and wants a refund on his childhood?

    Few! what a lucky escape for you!

    Sad, very, very sad.

    My heart goes out to this kid. He doesn't deserve this any more that his 'father' but i bet that bond can never be broken because bringing up a child regargless of paternity forges bonds that cannot be broken. When this kid grows up who is he gonna call dad? who will his kids call grandad? We all know the answer to this.

    Good luck
  • blue_monkey_2
    blue_monkey_2 Posts: 11,435 Forumite
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    That post was a bit rude to be honest - you might be worth remembering that this chap has been strung along for the last 10 years too. The thing is it is out of his control, what if the mother suddenly decides the child cannot see his 'dad' because he instigates this? Is this chap still supposed to pay without question? This is why this situation is much harder than it is.

    But, either way, he should not be paying the CSA any more money as the child is not his and he does not have that responsibility. However, if this chap wants to give something to the mother then so be it and they can come to some arrangement.

    But, the mother could decide not to let the child see this chap again - her choice and her perogative. Then what does he do? Shrug his shoulders and forget about it?
  • pd001
    pd001 Posts: 871 Forumite
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    Hawkmoon69 wrote: »
    Oh right, and what would you tell the poor kid who just discovered his 'dad' dont want to know him any more and wants a refund on his childhood?

    Few! what a lucky escape for you!

    Sad, very, very sad.

    My heart goes out to this kid. He doesn't deserve this any more that his 'father' but i bet that bond can never be broken because bringing up a child regargless of paternity forges bonds that cannot be broken. When this kid grows up who is he gonna call dad? who will his kids call grandad? We all know the answer to this.

    Good luck

    It is a very sad situation indeed!

    The wool has been well and truly pulled over the eyes of the husband of the OP. That is very bad indeed.

    I would still want every penny back, with interest!
    £30k is whole lot of money to have paid for a child that is nothing to do with the husband of the OP.

    As for dealing with the child, that is a totally different matter.
  • Zara33
    Zara33 Posts: 5,441 Forumite
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    Hawkmoon69 wrote: »
    Oh right, and what would you tell the poor kid who just discovered his 'dad' dont want to know him any more and wants a refund on his childhood?

    Few! what a lucky escape for you!

    Sad, very, very sad.

    My heart goes out to this kid. He doesn't deserve this any more that his 'father' but i bet that bond can never be broken because bringing up a child regargless of paternity forges bonds that cannot be broken. When this kid grows up who is he gonna call dad? who will his kids call grandad? We all know the answer to this.

    Good luck
    Incase you missed the post :rolleyes: don't let that stop you getting up there on your high horse though eh!
    This is exactly how we feel right now. He does want to continue the contact and he is happy to continue contributing to the child's upbringing outside the CSA, however the big question mark is how the mother will react - this really does concern us.............. She has NO morals, the sheer fact we are in this mess I think is testament to that
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  • LouLee2008
    LouLee2008 Posts: 306 Forumite
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    iluvfreebies wrote: »
    its actually pretty straight forwward - when the result has been received by the agency the money will be refunded in a matter of weeks. Am so sorry to hear about the position - I hope they can come to some arrangement for the childs sake

    HTH


    when we had to claim our money back in regards to same situation, it took alot longer then weeks, and resulted in the pwc recieving the money we were due back!!!
  • simpywimpy
    simpywimpy Posts: 2,384 Forumite
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    Is your name on the birth certificate? I've just looked into doing a test for my son and his child and it states you have to have parental responsibility ie named on certificate or else you need the mothers permission to take the sample.

    Just a though.....

    If nothing else, this has made me push for a test doing in our family. I have the kit ready but I think my son is nervous of doing it. Better now though than years down the line.
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