Breaking the cycle

calleyw wrote: »

That was me that said that. And I stand by. Woman who use their own children as pawns, or lie to the police about abuse, harassment or sexual assault do make me ashamed to be female.
unfortunately it seems that she is intent on doing just that. I’ve booked an appointment with a solicitor who will hopefully give me the facts of expected contact should it go to court; that will be my basis of arguement at mediation


When you have children with someone and separate your own feelings should not come in to. Unless there was abuse and then I totally understand no access or contact at all. If not then the children and their relationship with the other parent normally the dad is important.
im a very caring father; I want the best for my kids and for them to achieve their full potential


Men get a rough deal when it comes to contact and the courts. The mothers get to play all sorts of games and get away with it. The op tried to contact her to sort out about the access. So she calls the police. Unless there has been threats or abuse then totally out of order. And if the OP had decided that he needed to change his access days. I am sure the OP's ex would kicked off merry hell. But I guess thats ok because she is the mother.
id happily share my emails; but for personal reasons I won’t. I can however categorically say there was no threat at all.


I was a step mother. And seen first hand the damage that was done by a lying, jealous ex. I only found out in the last few years. That she told the children when she was with holding access, dad does not want to see you. My ex husband would have moved heaven and earth to see his children. And I supported him and never stood in the way of him seeing his children.
thats myworst fear. That my kids think I don’t love them. It’s disgusting

And of course it seems the OP has suffered 8 years of verbal, financial, emotional and physical abuse. But guess thats ok because he is a man!!!!!! And in the words of many should man up!!!!
ive has 22 addresses in 8 years. That’s ridiculous by any standard of measurement. My own fault for not realising; but at the time, when I’m at my lowest; the chance for a family life always brought be back


The PWC is normally the mother. And that is not always for the best. Time the courts started to see this. And stop the silly games that the mothers play. It should have been and always should have been a level playing field.
i can only hope of a shared custody agreement. The funny thing is ( not funny but ) she’s always criticised me for wanting to take her kids away from her


I always thought comms69 though blunt and a little harsh sometimes, talked sense. And with the abuse that he has suffered maybe that is why he replies the way he does. No matter what the sex of the people involved it's not alright to abuse someone.
i try to be straight to the point. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic; or I wouldn’t post; just think that often people need to hear something they don’t like.


If I was the op, I would pay my maintenance and nothing else. Keep the lines of communication open. And always be there for your children even if you can't see them. Make sure that they know you are there and love and care for them. Never bad mouth their mother in front of them. And try and enjoy your life.
never have, never will. She’s still their Mum; she does a good job of providing for them. But there is no more financial support; except the maintenance ofcourse

Yours


Calley x

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

It costs more because it’s more involved surely? CMS is just about the movement of money, important but not life or death.

Contact is about the safety and well-being of children. You can’t have an agency that just decrees it from a distance for £20 with no consideration of individual circumstances.