Breaking the cycle

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  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    SSDD23 wrote: »
    Regardless of the other threads, the OP has asked for advice

    Unfortunately, his responses in other threads demonstrate a really poor attitude towards women in general, which I think is something to consider here. What are the chances his attitude to his ex is any better?
  • Rubik
    Rubik Posts: 315 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    Unfortunately, his responses in other threads demonstrate a really poor attitude towards women in general, which I think is something to consider here. What are the chances his attitude to his ex is any better?

    I think the only factor to consider here is that someone is asking for support and advice.

    Comms, I appreciate that you are going through a very difficult time including being apart from your children and being prevented from seeing them. Ignore those who are using your thread to score points. There's been some good advice on this thread. Hang in there.
  • BrassicWoman
    BrassicWoman Posts: 3,202 Forumite
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    Rubik wrote: »
    Would you say that to a woman who has suffered domestic abuse? It's not the OP's behaviour that the issue here.

    I wouldn't be trying to get the other person to change, no. And I'd also have recognised that inciting rather than avoiding conflict was of no use.

    My change in behaviour would be getting out, and getting the kids safe with me through the courts; then limiting contact.

    But hoping someone else will change? Nope.
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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    Unfortunately, his responses in other threads demonstrate a really poor attitude towards women in general, which I think is something to consider here. What are the chances his attitude to his ex is any better?



    Just as a point. I genuinely don't consider gender when providing advice / comment.


    In otherwords I would say the same thing to a man as a woman.


    If you feel my comments are in anyway sexist; call me out on it.


    I really do welcome that. We may not agree on whatever the issue is, or whatever the solution is. However I have no hatred of anyone based upon gender, or age, or whatever. Just actions (individual actions; not group identity)
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    BrassicWoman wrote: »
    I wouldn't be trying to get the other person to change, no. And I'd also have recognised that inciting rather than avoiding conflict was of no use.

    My change in behaviour would be getting out, and getting the kids safe with me through the courts; then limiting contact.

    But hoping someone else will change? Nope.



    The issue is that the systems in place prevents many people from doing just that.


    If I've suggested I expect her to change; I don't. But to stop; yes.
  • SuperPikachu
    SuperPikachu Posts: 344 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    Comms69 would.

    Have you never spotted his responses to threads by women in distress?

    I always thought Comms was a women for some reason
  • Red-Squirrel_2
    Red-Squirrel_2 Posts: 4,341 Forumite
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    Comms69 wrote: »


    If you feel my comments are in anyway sexist; call me out on it.

    I do, regularly, as you are well aware.

    You’ve got people on this thread saying your ex makes them ashamed to be female. I think it’s legitimate to bring up your history of anti-woman comments.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    I do, regularly, as you are well aware.

    You’ve got people on this thread saying your ex makes them ashamed to be female. I think it’s legitimate to bring up your history of anti-woman comments.



    There's a difference between a comment where I disagree with a woman, and being anti-woman.


    I am not, in anyway, anti woman. Why would I be; I have a mum, a sister, unfortunately no grandmothers left, cousins, nieces.


    I would genuinely welcome you to genuinely highlight where you see this kind of comment.
  • Rubik
    Rubik Posts: 315 Forumite
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    Red-Squirrel wrote: »
    Every misogynist has a mother.

    I thought this forum was to offer support and constructive comments?
  • SuperPikachu
    SuperPikachu Posts: 344 Forumite
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    Rubik wrote: »
    I thought this forum was to offer support and constructive comments?

    I agree. I think Comms, the only way you are going to sort this out is if you buy a pet pig and move to Wales.
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