The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

pinkteapot wrote: »

There was an element of that certainly, but it was better than most TV representations and her story did at least go on over years. The shame was that the show was totally centred on Carrie (worst. character. ever.) because Sarah Jessica Parker was in charge. Charlotte and Miranda had much more interesting storylines but they weren't given the screen-time they deserved.

I never really liked the Carrie character. She was a bit sanctimonious and judgemental of the others whilst having an affair with a married man and cheating on her fiance. Always felt she could do with a punch in the face.

I'm thinking of buying a piece of jewellery or something - something to remember the children we planned but never had. Is that stupid? Any ideas?

I know in 20 years time I'll probably be ok, but at the moment, I'm still grieving. I found this which sums it up

“The hardest thing about reproductive loss is saying goodbye to someone we never said hello to. Our sadness and depression over the loss of our genetic offspring is grief. But unlike the grief we feel when a real person dies, infertility grief means saying goodbye to someone who was never really here. When there is an actual death, we have ritual around it. We have funerals and wakes, or we sit Shiva, and make social calls. We go to church or temple, and often light candles. People bring casseroles to our homes and say, “I’m so sorry for your loss.
But when we are told that we need genetics from someone else in order to conceive, when we need to confront that our child may not look like us, be like us, laugh like our grandparent, or have our partner’s intelligence, no one brings us a casserole and no one says they are sorry for our loss. There is no name to give to a person who died, even though we feel exactly like a real person has passed. That’s because the person has been so real to us for so long, even if we didn’t realize it.” – Carole LieberWilkins

Code, I think that sums it up beautifully, it such a hard loss to describe, wherever we are on the journey. Sorry if my twenty year comment sounded insensitive, I meant that for me it gives me hope about the future, even if the now is so hard (in different ways for all of us).
Take care of yourself. X