Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

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  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,839 Forumite
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    I'm just waiting for my friend who is staying at mine tonight. I don't know how to get through tomorrow, it can't be real. My aunt is unwell and may not be able to come.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • thepurplepixie
    thepurplepixie Posts: 3,607 Forumite
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    Good that you have a friend coming, I hope that will be a comfort.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,839 Forumite
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    thepurplepixie wrote: »
    Good that you have a friend coming, I hope that will be a comfort.

    That was posted yesterday.

    The funeral went well I think, it still feels very unreal
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • thepurplepixie
    thepurplepixie Posts: 3,607 Forumite
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    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    That was posted yesterday.

    The funeral went well I think, it still feels very unreal

    Sorry Torry, I lost a day somewhere! I'm glad it all went well, is your friend staying tonight?
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,839 Forumite
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    thepurplepixie wrote: »
    Sorry Torry, I lost a day somewhere! I'm glad it all went well, is your friend staying tonight?

    A different friend is. I'm exhausted.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • happyandcontented
    happyandcontented Posts: 2,768 Forumite
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    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    That was posted yesterday.

    The funeral went well I think, it still feels very unreal

    Take care of yourself Torry.

    I tried to send you a pm but your message box is full.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,839 Forumite
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    happyandcontented wrote: »
    Take care of yourself Torry.

    I tried to send you a pm but your message box is full.

    Thanks have deleted messages.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • wort
    wort Posts: 1,676 Forumite
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    Torry ,I've been thinking of you, it's a relief to get the funeral over. It will feel unreal for a long time. It's just 7 months for me and it still feels I'm in someone else's life.
    I was sleeping by hubby's hospital bed ,and woke suddenly to find him dead, his face was cold his body still warm, I spent a while with him whilst my daughters etc came, and his brothers saw him in the mortuary. I had seen my parents in the funeral home and didn't feel it looked like them, and found it took a long time to rid myself of the image. So I didn't see him again, and had a closed casket at the funeral parlour.
    As others mentioned give yourself time to relax ,and do think of counselling.
    Take care.x
    Focus on contribution instead of the impressiveness of consumption to see the true beauty in people.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,839 Forumite
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    wort wrote: »
    Torry ,I've been thinking of you, it's a relief to get the funeral over. It will feel unreal for a long time. It's just 7 months for me and it still feels I'm in someone else's life.
    I was sleeping by hubby's hospital bed ,and woke suddenly to find him dead, his face was cold his body still warm, I spent a while with him whilst my daughters etc came, and his brothers saw him in the mortuary. I had seen my parents in the funeral home and didn't feel it looked like them, and found it took a long time to rid myself of the image. So I didn't see him again, and had a closed casket at the funeral parlour.
    As others mentioned give yourself time to relax ,and do think of counselling.
    Take care.x

    Thanks. Seeing him in the funeral home means that I have that image rather than when I found him gone. It doesn't feel a relief to have the funeral passed, it feels wrong. I'm struggling to do anything but people keep telling me I need to get a routine. I'm definitely going to get counseling at the local cancer support centre.

    How are you doing?
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Misslayed
    Misslayed Posts: 14,218 Senior Ambassador
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    So sorry for your loss Torry, I hope you get some comfort from this thread, lots of us have been there and feel your pain. Although it's nearly ten years ago in my case, I remember as if it was last week.
    I’m a Senior Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Competition Time, Site Feedback and Marriage, Relationships and Families boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com All views are my own and not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
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