Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

crazy_cat_lady · 5 September 2018 at 8:25PM

I've just had the most bizarre encounter with ex. He rang to ask if he could pop in and see the kids, so I said if he was quick then he could. As usual, when he got here, the kids were more interested in being online with their friends - he kind of stood round awkwardly so I went upstairs to go to the loo and try and send ds down to see him. When I got downstairs again he'd gone. I asked if he'd even said goodbye and dd said yes, but he must have been in the house less than 5 minutes. I know he's in a bad way again mentally, and I'm worried, but I refuse to get more involved with the whole thing again - that's why we've separated in the first place. I feel bad for him that the kids don't care more, but that is not my doing. I try and encourage them to see him, but they aren't bothered - you reap what you sow.

I've had a really manic day at work today. I'm pleased it's over to be honest but it is going to be a while until I can get back into my routine and feel less tired all of the time. I'm going to be in bed even earlier than usual tonight, but I'm not sacrificing my sleep for anyone or anything. I'm not used to being on the go all of the time and it just reminds me how hard teachers work, and how much we earn our hols. 3 hours with my new year 7 form class, then 2 hours of teaching, plus a meeting after school. I barely had time for the toilet or lunch and I don't like the feeling of being behind with everything already... I'm not going to do any crochet at all tonight because I can't be bothered.

Honeysucklelou2 · 5 September 2018 at 11:26PM

You are right CCL, the first week back is a tough one and it's all the fiddly little jobs that take the time but are necessary.

Hope the next two days go smoothly.

wishingthemortgaheaway · 6 September 2018 at 6:04AM

Keep swimming CCL,
I hope you've got a relaxing weekend planned.

SpekySquarehead · 6 September 2018 at 9:04AM

I think given how hectic the end of last term was for you, I'm sure it'll stay long in the memory and will encourage you, if you'd even need any, to keep on top of it all early. But be careful not to over-do it so soon. Marathon, not a sprint and all that.

You're right to keep ex at arms length too, I'd say. As you point out, the reason you left in the first place was trying to fix his problems.

Hope you have a good day!

beanielou · 6 September 2018 at 9:19AM

Keep plodding

MeandO · 6 September 2018 at 9:59AM

Keep on keeping-on CCL and before you know it it becomes second nature.

You did the right thing with the ex.
My ex-husband (5 years split and on 'good-but-can't-tolerate-each-other-for-long' terms

) came over last night to drop something of DS's off for school. He was hinting money was tight and he was struggling and he had to go shopping straight from mine to get food in to feed DS tomorrow, so I gave him the big new pack of mince I just bought and some veg to cook for DS and him today.
Then in the next breath he tells me how he 'recommends' a swanky new restaurant and gin palace that's opened... :mad:

I give up!

crazy_cat_lady · 6 September 2018 at 7:55PM

Thanks everyone - I'll be ok, because I always am

I will just keep going and I'll get back into the swing of things sooner or later. It's been another very busy day and I'm already falling behind with some of my work stuff. I had a set of books to mark after school but I got called into a meeting - wish I could figure out a way of being in two places at once. I have another full teaching day tomorrow but then it'll be all over for a couple of days, and it'll get easier once I get to know my classes a bit better.
I left work at 4pm today to take ds to his swimming lesson. DD had sent me a text to say she was at her friend's place for a couple of hours. We drove home over the new Northern Spire bridge in town, which ds was very impressed by. Got home about quarter to six - the cats were hungry as well as me and ds, so he put his dinner in the oven while I fed the cats. Then I went and had a good look around dd's bedroom - she's had more than a few flies in there over the past couple of days but I just can't figure out where they are coming from. I've had the furniture moved, raked through cupboards and allsorts. Nothing unusual anywhere. I changed the cat litter, put the rubbish out and poured a bottle of vinegar into the bin to try and freshen it up a bit without having to scrub it all out. Came in and served dinner up, then went to pick dd up from her friend's place. I've caught up on here now, and then I'll be heading in the shower and off to bed for an early night. Another completely non stop day... It will get easier, and my confidence will come back.
No news from ex today at all - I've tried not to think too much about it, which I know makes me sound awful but I can't get into all of that stuff. Hopefully he'll be ok.

crazy_cat_lady · 8 September 2018 at 7:05PM

Hello :hello:
I just got too tired last night to check in properly on my diary. I was absolutely whacked. That full teaching day was tough and I have another on Monday so stayed late rather than bringing loads home to prepare over the weekend. I finally got my very large gin and tonic but was still in bed by 10pm - much needed. I woke up at 3am feeling very anxious and tearful - I seemed to have gotten it into my head that one of the cats would be dead very soon (my naughty tortie with her endless health problems), then I started worrying about whether the divorce was affecting the kids in a bad way, then I started worrying that I'd forgotten how to teach and so on until I'd been awake for over an hour... I did get back to sleep and went through until after 7am but I was still quite tearful when I woke up. I have a lot of divorce guilt going on today for some reason.
Anyway, I got up and dressed and headed straight out to get stuff out of the way. I needed to pick up a parcel from the post office, and I wanted to do the weekly shop at Aldee (£35) and I also needed to pick up an order of special diet cat food from Pets at H0me for the naughty tortie and her IBS - it's been bad lately (hence my worrying) and I'm desperate to sort that out before she loses much more weight.
Got home just in time to unpack the shopping and feed the kids before heading off to my tutoring session - some much needed extra cash. Then bestie came over for a couple of hours, and that was also much needed - I had started spiralling into a pool of my own misery and anxiety. I felt much better after seeing her

Although I do need to keep an eye on myself before that gets out of control. Bestie also wants to go shopping tomorrow - I've said I will go with her. I don't have a penny to spare but it will do me good to be out and about and in good company for a few hours. I've done the dishes, the washing, prepped for the week ahead etc so I think I can relax a bit. I do have a tiny bit of work to do for the exam board but I can fit that in as well as a bit of window shopping.

Buffythedebtslayer · 8 September 2018 at 8:52PM

CCL I forced myself out last night, I had come in exhausted and virtually passed out on the sofa for about an hour and then dragged myself to my friend's house. I thought I must start this week as I mean to go on. As in making sure I see my friends otherwise I will lose my mind!

Keep doing things outside of work - both of us must do this, you know how school can suck you in and you have enough going on without that happening and of course you can teach! everyone thinks that in September. You are ok. sending you love and enjoy tomorrow XXXX

Honeysucklelou2 · 8 September 2018 at 11:31PM

I agree, I think many teachers question themselves on their teaching ability at the beginning of the year, but as you get into the term, that will go.

Hope you have a good time tomorrow.

Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 3 - A New Beginning

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