I dont want to be around my child.

Stephb1986_2 · 21 May 2008 at 11:19PM

I would seriously think about taking her tv, phone, games grounding her ect off her now if she carries on being like this it will get worse trust me i know! i was that girl once. Is your OH her real dad i know thats a nosey question but might be a slight problem.

Perhaps your OH should disiplin her more and then she wont get away with it from either of you.

definatly take some priviliages off her.

Steph xx

seven-day-weekend · 21 May 2008 at 11:39PM

This is probably clutching at straws but I remember when I was young, there was a boy in my class who (looking back on it now) had a bowel problem. We used to call him names and laugh at him.

It was only when my mum pointed out in words of one syllable just how unkind I was being and also asked me if I would like someone to do that to me, that I understood how bad it was.

I did not join in with the bullying ever again.

I was possibly nine. I actually didn't really understand what I was doing until my mum pointed it out clearly. Then I did and felt ashamed of myself and never ever did it again to anyone.

Maybe she needs it pointing out in plain language??

Jem8472 · 22 May 2008 at 12:02AM

If I had done something like this when I was that age. (now 25) I would have be smacked. (hated mums rings as a child)

Now because you are not allowed to do anything to your kids I would suggest taking every electrical item out of her room. TV, DVD, mobile, games, if she is part of any club ground her from going.

And set down some rules of what she needs to do (lots of chores) to get each item back.
I might be one of the few people but I think you really need to turn the screws to get ride of this behaviour.

Yorkshire-Lady_3 · 22 May 2008 at 7:32AM

I too would be furious, but seeing it from a different perspective, my first thoughts were this work you've been doing, has probably left you short tempered and feeling under a great deal of stress. I know it would me. Your DD has probably not had the attention she needs, and If I were you - An I appreciate I'm not, I'd make some very special time for her and you, and maybe have a treat. Just spend time alone with her, and even if you have to grit your teeth and smile falsely through them, make the effort to tell her you love her.
Family time is So important in my opinion.
Good luck, and hugs to you.

Sally

Paparika · 22 May 2008 at 7:44AM

My mother would of launched me into next week.

You have a well balanced son and you can see how your daughter is behaving, perhaps like the other poster said, she may be getting near to the 'woman' stage in her life.

or it could be she see's how her mates treat their parents and is too trying it on.

But the fact you've said she's always has a temper, she's obviously had an issue of wanting attention.

Maybe her brother can talk to her and find out what the problem is, although at that age the most he will get from her is I dunno

MRSTITTLEMOUSE · 22 May 2008 at 11:57AM

bank_of_slate wrote: »

My friend used to cut the plug off her son's TV in his room as a punishment, I think the cable ended up about an inch long!
...Linda xx[/quote

I had to laugh at this,I had three daughters within 4 years and when they were early teens used to drive me mad with TVs and music blasting out of every room at the same time(have you noticed that teenagers seem to be deaf).One day I had had enough and after repeatedly turning the volume down lost it.I picked up a bread basket and went round the whole house cutting plugs off everything that made a noise,including a TV which my daughter would'nt turn off,resulting in me having a burnt hand and getting an electric shock.(I was in such a state at the time safety just was'nt an issue).We laugh about it now.I adore my daughters,they are lovely adults but at the time I did'nt want them to ever come near me again.
To the OP your'e not a horrible person to feel the way you do,we all do at sometime during parenthood,if we did'nt we would'nt be human.

Marker_2 · 22 May 2008 at 12:06PM

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico wrote: »

my hv once told me thats its ok not to like your child - doesnt mean you don't love them

Have no advice as I was the type of child you seem to be living with

But I did want to pick up on this post.

NEVER EVER tell your child you love them but don't like them. A comment like that will stay in your childs memory for life, a bit like the comment she said to you.

Good Luck with her and good luck with uni!

feelinggood_2 · 22 May 2008 at 12:20PM

Marker wrote: »

Have no advice as I was the type of child you seem to be living with

But I did want to pick up on this post.

NEVER EVER tell your child you love them but don't like them. A comment like that will stay in your childs memory for life, a bit like the comment she said to you.

Good Luck with her and good luck with uni!

My Mum said similar things to me at various times, and at the time they really hurt, but looking back now, I know that I deserved everything she said - I was a horrible kid/teenager.

Can't really offer any advice, the only think that worked with me and my Mum was space. From age 9 to 17, we just kept apart most of the time - she couldn't deal with me, and I was an awful kid.

ameliarate · 22 May 2008 at 12:39PM

I have to stick my two penorth in because I strongly feel this sounds like a very undisciplined child - I may be wrong. I would say the first thing is to discuss it with your other half. between you decided what the rules, boundaries and limitations are (I sound like Cesar Millan) and then sit and talk to your daughter explain what is and is not acceptable, and why, and what will happen if she misbehaves and stick to it!!!!!!! She may well be about to menstruate - I was just 11 as was my daughter when she started - discuss with her how she is feeling when she does misbehave, see if she knows what's going on. Give her chores to do. Also set special time aside for her so you can all do things together. Remember who is in control. Good luck.

Mrs7ones · 22 May 2008 at 12:49PM

ameliarate wrote: »

I have to stick my two penorth in because I strongly feel this sounds like a very undisciplined child - I may be wrong. I would say the first thing is to discuss it with your other half. between you decided what the rules, boundaries and limitations are (I sound like Cesar Millan) and then sit and talk to your daughter explain what is and is not acceptable, and why, and what will happen if she misbehaves and stick to it!!!!!!! She may well be about to menstruate - I was just 11 as was my daughter when she started - discuss with her how she is feeling when she does misbehave, see if she knows what's going on. Give her chores to do. Also set special time aside for her so you can all do things together. Remember who is in control. Good luck.

oooo, I need to sympathise with the OP here - the child isn't necessarily undisciplined - my DD is EXACTLY the same (she's a very evil, nasty, rude 10year old), and she gets plenty of both love and discapline. Neither of her 2 siblins are like her and all get the same treatment.

OP - if you find a way of handeling your DD, please pass it on!

I dont want to be around my child.

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