I dont want to be around my child.

readytoscream

I think thats what makes it harder, I never had a moment where I didnt like my son, he is just such a good, considerate lad that was again completely horrified by his sisters behaviour.

I have always treated them equally, I just wish everyone would realise DD is not a baby now.

bank_of_slate

Hi RTS,
Did she look genuinely sorry?
Maybe you 2 could go out at the weekend for some 'girly time' and have proper chance to talk about things?
...Linda xx

Incisor

readytoscream wrote: »

... Luckily I had backups on my computer so I have managed to reprint a lot, although Im going to have to spend most of tomorrow sourcing the specialist card I used

Glad to hear it is recoverable - I know the value of this sort of work.

I would just pose this question: What is in this Uni work for your DD? It maybe that she resents the time you spend and is attacking the work for that reason. It may be she is settling for getting your attention over something bad, because she feels she can't get it for something good?

readytoscream

She didnt seem geniune no, more like she just wanted to keep the peace.

Incisor, I dont think it was anything to do with Uni especially, just that at the time she was close to the work so threw the water she was carrying at it. I think if that hadn't been there she would have thrown it at the TV or something.

She gets plenty of attention, so Im certain its not that. She is always being taken shopping with me for clothes etc, we spend a lot of time together, she just turns into a monster when she cant get her own way.

cazac71

readytoscream wrote: »

Im a regular poster, but for obvious reasons I have chosen an alias:

I have to write this down, and I know a lot of you will think I'm horrible, but at this moment in time I dont want my child near me.

My DD is 10, and has always had a temper. When she was younger she would fight, scream and throw things but grew out of it for the most part. Just before my Mum died DD realised the enormity of the situation and threw one hell of a tantrum, in which she told me she would be "Glad when my Mum died so I would be upset forever". I accept it was how she handled the situation, but her words have never left me.

Tonight however, she surpassed herself. All my modules for Uni have to be in on Friday and are all on the dining room table, 5 months of work all mounted up and ready to hand in. I told her she was to stay away from it all.

She has had a cough so OH went to fetch her script from the Dr's, turned out to be tablets which she flatly refused to take, even though they were quite small. We tried blackmail, being firm, nothing worked. In the end I admit I lost my temper a bit and told her she was being silly and for goodness sake take the tablet. With this she took the glass of water she had and deliberately threw it all over my work.

Yes, I hit the roof. 5 months of coursework all ruined. I left the house because I knew I'd blow further, but I told OH that it was the final straw and he was to take her out of my sight, preferably for a day or two while I try and do all the work again.

I have just got back in and he has taken her, with all her school things down to his Mums house. I cant tell you how relieved I am. I am so angry and I really don't want her around me. The way I feel at the moment she could stay with his Mum.

OH is sitting firmly on the fence and claims she didn't know what she was doing, but she certainly did. I cant cope with her when she does this, and it hurts so much to say it but I really don't like her very much at the moment.

Do you know why your DD has these outbursts? Have you taken here to the GP`s

ceebeeby

Naughty behaviour is naughty behaviour whatever, even if they're feeling poorly / spoilt. IMHO throwing water in the house constitutes naughty behaviour (doesn't matter what it hit). With absolutely no nonsense she has to know that what she did was completely unacceptable, and accept the consequences of her punishment (whatever that is when you've calmed down). I have a 10 year old (youngest of 4) and that would have earnt her a good months grounding with no TV!!

Well done for keeping your cool over it. I also agree with previous poster - you can love your children all of the time, but you don't have to like them when they're yukky!!

Incisor

readytoscream wrote: »

Incisor, I dont think it was anything to do with Uni especially, just that at the time she was close to the work so threw the water she was carrying at it. I think if that hadn't been there she would have thrown it at the TV or something.

Oh, just being a monster. Might have had a more constructive outcome if she had soaked the TV, in that the consequences would have affected her more directly?

bank_of_slate

My friend used to cut the plug off her son's TV in his room as a punishment, I think the cable ended up about an inch long!
...Linda xx

candygirl

You need to clamp down on this sort of behaviour right now hun.Never mind what OH does or says, you take charge, or you will have a really rocky road ahead:eek: :eek: Take it from one who's been there done that, and is still getting the sh1te, even tho DD is 21:mad: :mad: They mistake kindness with weakness sometimes sadly;)
I love DD to bits, but wish i'd been stronger when she was young:D

floss2

Can I just ask (and please, those of you with daughters, don't bite my head off here), do you think she is any where near what when I was a child was called "becoming a woman"? She may be having the start of PMT-type hormone surges, which may explain (but not condone) the tantrums.

I had a stroppy, tantrumy stressy child, who grew up to be a well balanced 20yr old at uni, so just remember, she will grow up one day - it may seem a very long time, but she will, honest!

:grouphug:
Floss x