I dont want to be around my child.

Paparika

awwww bless you xx

I had a time when i didn't really like my son and it wasn't his fault, i had split from his violent father and every time i looked at him i felt cold towards him, that lasted a few years.

But now i realise its not his fault and now love him to bits.

Your angry because she ruined your work and kids can be sly and naughty on purpose.

i bet nanny will have words with her, and time away from you may make her reflect on her behaviour and you (hopefully) may even get a sorry..

a quick question tho, can you see yourself in her, were you like her as a child?

sooty&sweep

Hi

I agree with everyone in that there are times we all don't like our children !!

Is it worth a phone call to your tutor tomorrow & see if they can give you an extension of a couple of days??

If you show them the drenched course work they may be understanding

Best Wishes

liney

Well done for not 'swinging for her' as i probably would have done - my last assignment is due by next Friday too.

I agree that she is going for what will upset you most at the time; is this the first real reaction she has had from you? Are an emotional person, or could she be feeling detached because you hide your feelings well in front of her normally? She does seem to want to poke a bruise, as it were.

You are not a bad parent! Look on the bright side, you can spoil her children and watch them play her up in a few years, and laugh )

nickyhutch

You've been amazingly restrained! You're not a bad mum, you've done all the right things. Hopefully, she'll have a couple of days to reflect and realise just how bad things are and want to do something to put things right with you. It's an difficult age and her hormones will be all over the place, but just knowing that doesn't make it any easier to cope with, does it?

littlepinky84

Hopefully you will get all your course work redone in time and i think we all have times when we dont partically like our children, doesnt mean we dont love them

Elliesmum

Big hugs from me too. I'm a Mum who's at Uni too so can totally understand how you feel about everything. In fact I think you were quite restraint! I do hope this all works out for you - maybe the counsellor idea is the way forward?

EM xx

something_girl

readytoscream wrote: »

My DD is 10, and has always had a temper. When she was younger she would fight, scream and throw things but grew out of it for the most part. Just before my Mum died DD realised the enormity of the situation and threw one hell of a tantrum, in which she told me she would be "Glad when my Mum died so I would be upset forever". I accept it was how she handled the situation, but her words have never left me.

Do you think that she has sensed your dislike for her, for a long time and she is hurting really badly herself, but has no other way to show it other than to cause havoc, as she doesn't possess the vocabulary or maturity to get any other response from you, other than anger, when what she is really crying out for is reassurance and warmth....

I have 2 daughters myself, age 15 and 11 and haven't been the best of parents myself, but I do believe that they are, in general, what we make them... nature v nurture etc

bank_of_slate

You did absolutely right to leave the house to calm down a bit.
Far better than lashing out (as I have previously done and regretted it)
I hope she will see the enormity of the situation her actions have caused! She was probably just venting her anger in the only way she knew that she could (that would upset you - kids know exactly how to 'push the right buttons') at the time.
Huge hugs to you
...Linda xx

readytoscream

OH has bought her home, and she apologised and went to bed. I've had serious words with OH about how he (and his parents) treat DD. It seems to be a case of "Oh she's only ten, she doesnt know", but she does know, she knows full well what she is doing and knows full well the innocent act is working.

Things need to change, it seems to be only me in this family that treats her as a nearly 11 year old girl and doesn't baby her. My elder son was never babied by the family and as a result is a perfectly happy, well rounded teen. DD however knows that she can get away with acting like a 5 year old so does it anyway.

I think OH finally understands where Im coming from, and I suppose by morning I will have calmed down somewhat.

Luckily I had backups on my computer so I have managed to reprint a lot, although Im going to have to spend most of tomorrow sourcing the specialist card I used

if this isnt stopped now, I can see a nightmare teenager coming. And in answer to an earlier question, no I wasnt like that as a kid because my parents were quite united in discipline, I knew it was pointless throwing a tantrum because it wouldnt make any difference. Now if OH could learn this...

cazziebo

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico wrote: »

i didnt want to read and run

my hv once told me thats its ok not to like your child - doesnt mean you don't love them


hugs

This was the best advice I'd ever been given by a very wise friend. I have two daughters and there have been times when this has applied to both of them - if it hadn't been for these words I don't think I would have stayed sane! And it works both ways, your daughter may not have liked you at that moment, and one things for sure, right now she won't be liking herself.

Get your head down, get the course work out of the way, and then why don't the two of you go celebrate the term being over? Do some nice things together. Have a calm conversation about how some behaviour is just unacceptable and you won't tolerate it. It doesn't mean you don't love her, it's her behaviour you have an issue with.

In some ways I'm lucky in that I'm a single parent so didn't have to worry about inertia from OH's! And I also found my parents to be useless for support - always me in the wrong! or "do you think you were perfect at that age?" usually said in front of dds :mad:

Good luck - my two are heading towards late teens and only just coming out of this....