I dont want to be around my child.

readytoscream

Im a regular poster, but for obvious reasons I have chosen an alias:

I have to write this down, and I know a lot of you will think I'm horrible, but at this moment in time I dont want my child near me.

My DD is 10, and has always had a temper. When she was younger she would fight, scream and throw things but grew out of it for the most part. Just before my Mum died DD realised the enormity of the situation and threw one hell of a tantrum, in which she told me she would be "Glad when my Mum died so I would be upset forever". I accept it was how she handled the situation, but her words have never left me.

Tonight however, she surpassed herself. All my modules for Uni have to be in on Friday and are all on the dining room table, 5 months of work all mounted up and ready to hand in. I told her she was to stay away from it all.

She has had a cough so OH went to fetch her script from the Dr's, turned out to be tablets which she flatly refused to take, even though they were quite small. We tried blackmail, being firm, nothing worked. In the end I admit I lost my temper a bit and told her she was being silly and for goodness sake take the tablet. With this she took the glass of water she had and deliberately threw it all over my work.

Yes, I hit the roof. 5 months of coursework all ruined. I left the house because I knew I'd blow further, but I told OH that it was the final straw and he was to take her out of my sight, preferably for a day or two while I try and do all the work again.

I have just got back in and he has taken her, with all her school things down to his Mums house. I cant tell you how relieved I am. I am so angry and I really don't want her around me. The way I feel at the moment she could stay with his Mum.

OH is sitting firmly on the fence and claims she didn't know what she was doing, but she certainly did. I cant cope with her when she does this, and it hurts so much to say it but I really don't like her very much at the moment.

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico

i didnt want to read and run

my hv once told me thats its ok not to like your child - doesnt mean you don't love them

i suppose what im trying to say is that once you've calmed down (and finished redoing you work) that you should probably sit down with her and get her to see that you will never stop loving her but that doesnt mean that you wont discipline her when her behaviour warrants it - also important for oh to back you up on this

hope that makes sense - i'm sure someone will be along with better advice

hugs

Sagaris

Sorry to hear the problems you are having with your DD - I sympathise.

I had a similar situation when my ex husband and I split up, I have 2 daughters - the elder took it all in her stride but the younger hated me, blamed me for everything and took great delight in calculating exactly how to upset me. Eventually I broke down in my GP's one day and he got her referred to a counsellor - it was the best thing ever. Some sessions she went in on her own, some I had to attend with her, and for a couple her sister had to come too.

It took time but eventually she settled down, once they had worked out what the problem was and how to tackle it. She was about the same age as your DD too. Would it be worth approaching your GP to see if you could get some counselling for her?

If you'd like to PM me to let off steam then please do - it's a horrible situation to be in.

readytoscream

Thank you, both of you. I thought everyone would hate me.
I have to go now and carry on trying to sort this work out, but I will be back later.
x

bonniethemadcat

hi


I think we all have times when we don't like our kids! so don't beat yourself up about it. My 7 yr ds really knows how to wind me up and I was really glad he went to his nanas last weekend, it gave us both some space.

We love our kids unconditionally but I think it's only natural that at times we don't like them. I feel for you, you must be so stressed with what she has done and I hope when you've calmed down a bit you will be able to salvage some of it.

In the meantime (((((((hugs))))))

Bonnie

G-G_4

I don't have any suggestions, but just wanted to say you arn't a bad person for not liking her right now xx

tru

Sorry, I have to rush out but this bit couldn't wait -

readytoscream wrote: »

OH is sitting firmly on the fence and claims she didn't know what she was doing, but she certainly did.

Your OH needs to get off that fence and jump firmly down on your side.

Of course she knew what she was doing. Master tru knew exactly what buttons to push with me, from a very young age. I would say your DD is the same - she went for the very thing that would upset you most at that moment.

If you're OH really believes she didn't know what she doing, he should still stand by you to show DD that she can't play one off against the other.

Plasticman

readytoscream wrote: »

Im a regular poster, but for obvious reasons I have chosen an alias:

I have to write this down, and I know a lot of you will think I'm horrible, but at this moment in time I dont want my child near me.

My DD is 10, and has always had a temper. When she was younger she would fight, scream and throw things but grew out of it for the most part. Just before my Mum died DD realised the enormity of the situation and threw one hell of a tantrum, in which she told me she would be "Glad when my Mum died so I would be upset forever". I accept it was how she handled the situation, but her words have never left me.

Tonight however, she surpassed herself. All my modules for Uni have to be in on Friday and are all on the dining room table, 5 months of work all mounted up and ready to hand in. I told her she was to stay away from it all.

She has had a cough so OH went to fetch her script from the Dr's, turned out to be tablets which she flatly refused to take, even though they were quite small. We tried blackmail, being firm, nothing worked. In the end I admit I lost my temper a bit and told her she was being silly and for goodness sake take the tablet. With this she took the glass of water she had and deliberately threw it all over my work.

Yes, I hit the roof. 5 months of coursework all ruined. I left the house because I knew I'd blow further, but I told OH that it was the final straw and he was to take her out of my sight, preferably for a day or two while I try and do all the work again.

I have just got back in and he has taken her, with all her school things down to his Mums house. I cant tell you how relieved I am. I am so angry and I really don't want her around me. The way I feel at the moment she could stay with his Mum.

OH is sitting firmly on the fence and claims she didn't know what she was doing, but she certainly did. I cant cope with her when she does this, and it hurts so much to say it but I really don't like her very much at the moment.

It all sounds so familiar!! I'm pretty sure that you will find that you aren't alone with these problems................

paula65

Oh my, I do sympathise with you. My DD is exactly the same age and going into mass drama sulks and over the top winges. She is from my first marriage and when I tell her to shut up or behave herself I get the wailing and crying 'I want my dad' 'he's not nasty to me like you are'. I could swing for her but I now just ignore her totally and give her one of my 'your pushing it looks' and within 10 mins she's nice as pie. I realise this is an age which is difficult for her with puberty looming so at the moment I'm a little forgiving. I also know her dad is pretty strict like me, so one phone call and the dramatics will be stopped dead in their tracks lol. Good luck and I think you did the right thing in walking away. Perhaps she will have time to reflect on her actions and I hope her grandparents are not too sympathetic to her and give her the riot act. If if it happens again, I'd get a big stick and nip the attitude in the bud now before she's a teen lol (no politically correct parents respond, ITS A JOKE)

Best wishes and hugs

kazwookie

Gosh, I know what I would like to say to your DD and her attitude, and what I would do to her if she was mine, but if I did say I would possibly be banned off this board, but I guess you can work out where I am coming from.

Maybe that is one reason I never wanted kids / or had them thank goodness.

twink

just wanted to send you a hug x