Simplifying Life

mary43 · 6 February 2008 at 2:45PM

Hello all !
Well, no de-cluttering today.................had to pop into town for my pension, and photocopy photos of mum as a child and her mum for a Mothers Day card I want to do. Then couldn't resist the charity shops..........more stuff for my christmas/birthday baskets.............great bargains !
Keep looking at my untidy desk and thinking I really must sort it out........some photos need going into an album, twiglet box left over from christmas I was going to cover with something and re-use it...........not sure with what yet though............badges I retrieved from a bag I'm sending to the charity shop. I can use them on birthday cards for my son ........there's one with John Travolta on it and the rest of the 'Grease' clan -he loved that film, several christmas ones that came off birthday cards and can be re-used (they need to go in my 'card stuff box'.............and why OH has put his bottle of sun cream there I've no idea....................lol

Tomorrow I've got my first appointment with a counsellor to talk through things to see whats causing my stress/depression. It's Mum and all that goes with her illness I know, plus Dad and never really grieving properly -not for him or my first hubby and son so I expect I'll end up in total tears...............still, better out that in.

At least I got everything done on my little list this morning...........just got to do Mums card, post of copies of ex foster girls wedding to my son, then scratch my head and think 'what next ??...................lol

huxley · 6 February 2008 at 2:50PM

Hi all been reading through and catching up on all the posts and the positive thoughts that come through and so a big thank you I was hitting that low glum place but once I've read through here you start to feel ready to give it all another go:j I think my main decluttering at the moment must be my expectations of myself this road we travel seems to have many bumps the financial ones can be very troublesome but somehow we find a way through the health ones can cause some real problems that mean we need to take a detour or even stop for awhile just to pause and check our route. A good friend put me back on track yesterday with a simple gesture I wanted to make a card but it was a day when physically I couldnt so a friend who makes beautiful cards said I can make it for you or I can help you make it. She understood how important this task was to me this bump was like a mountain to me and she offered to help me over it, so for all of you who feel you only decluttered a shelf a draw the thing is you did it you achieved:T

mary43 · 6 February 2008 at 3:11PM

You're so right huxley..............we come across a lot of hiccups through life and sometimes our expectations of ourselves are higher that we can live up to. There comes a time to stop, sit back and realise what we are capable of instead of trying to take on too much.

You have a good friend there understanding your needs so well. Hope your card turned out well.

rosieben · 6 February 2008 at 5:41PM

Very true Huxley, its too easy to concentrate on what we haven't done and forget any progress we've made. What a good friend you have there, one of life's treasures :T

Mary, I will be thinking of you tomorrow; I hope the counselling is a help to you, as you say it will probably be traumatic but it sound like you're carrying an awful lot of emotional baggage, time to declutter it maybe. You give so much, and now its time to be kind to yourself.

mary43 · 6 February 2008 at 6:07PM

Thanks rosieben. I'm hoping the whole thing will help me put things into perspective and deal with them or at least learn to live with them. Something I thought I had done but somehow I think I was kidding myself.
Then theres the pressure/worry of Mum............I'm constantly made to feel I don't see her enough (by other relatives who live close to her) and I think they forget sometimes I have a job to do, I don't drive and it takes four and a half hours to get there, make sure I've got accomodation etc. plus the effect it has on me seeing Mum who sometimes knows who I am, sometimes not. Like everything else, it catches up eventually.

Bless him............the ex foster lad who took the candle making stuff gave me a real lift yesterday..........the look on his face..........sheer delight. If I'd paid a fortune for them and given them he couldn't have been more happy. He's such a tonic and despite his own issues always shows concern about me -makes me laugh and won't leave until he knows I'm ok.

I was talking to him yesterday about de-cluttering.........but he's worse than me..............keeps everything.......just in case ! Oh dear, hope he hasn't learned that from me.........................lol

Bobbykins · 6 February 2008 at 7:16PM

Mary - just wanted to say I hope it goes OK for you tomorrow - I was going to say wish you luck but I don't quite think "luck" is the appropriate thing. Maybe I just want to wish you "peace" if that sounds right?

I had some counselling myself a few years ago and I'm sure that, whilst you will probably find it quite hard to talk about/re-live your issues without a few boxes of tissues, I certainly found it a relief and a release to be able to talk to someone unconnected to it all. Sometimes just being able to tell it like it is to someone who you KNOW isn't going to judge you is very helpful.

You are such a giver Mary and now is the time to accept a little for yourself.

take care

Bobby

EDIT: Sorry, I've just realised that Rosieben has said almost exactly the same thing, didn't mean to copy.....mind you, maybe that's because its true!

mary43 · 6 February 2008 at 7:36PM

Thanks bobby. I used to be a counsellor many many years ago so I know more or less what to expect and tissues will be to hand...............just in case. Needs to be someone outside of the situation to put everthing in the right context. I'm part looking forward to it and part not, if you know what I mean. But its much needed I know so can only do good.
Thanks for your support.................:j

Aril · 6 February 2008 at 8:14PM

Hello virtual friends:j
The last lot of the small person's unwanted treasure has now been listed on freecycle/put in the recycling or added to the charity shop bag. What a relief/release...I feel I can now move onto the kitchen with a vengeance next week with a clear conscience.
I hope you find the counselling helpful Mary...I found it a tremendously carthetic experience and I emerged from it with many things resolved and with a far better understanding and acceptance [warts and all of who I am]
Some gentle wisdom today as the mood on the thread seems to be of a reflective nature:
Do you think you can take over the universe and improve it?
I do not believe it can be done.
The universe is sacred.
You cannot improve it.
If you try to change it, you will ruin it.
If you try to hold it, you will lose it.
So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes things are behind;
Sometimes breathing is hard and sometimes it comes easily;
Sometimes there is strength and sometimes weakness;
Sometimes one is up and sometimes down.
Therefore the sage avoids extremes, excesses and complacency.
Lao Tsu
Tao Te Ching.
And a final gem from Maya Angelou again
"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life'
Aril

rosieben · 6 February 2008 at 8:15PM

Bobbykins wrote: »

...
EDIT: Sorry, I've just realised that Rosieben has said almost exactly the same thing, didn't mean to copy.....mind you, maybe that's because its true!

Great minds think alike Bobbykins!!

I do a 'pause for thought' each evening, along with some friends on another forum and will include you tonight, Mary, and for as long as you need it. We are all different belief systems, its not a religious thing, its more a collective sending of positive thoughts which we believe can really make a difference

rosieben · 6 February 2008 at 8:20PM

Thanks for 2 more wonderful quotes Aril. They are now safely in the folder named 'Aril's quotes'

I keep promiising myself to read Maya Angelou - made a note to check the library.

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Simplifying Life

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