Cant cope

Mips

Also, staying in the house all day on the Computer is just simply not pro-active for Mum or Baby.

It is better to be out, forcing yourself to do things than staying in a comfort zone. Little ones need stimulation - when I can't get out, I put mine in their pram on our decking, which is raised, and they can see the Cars drive past and hear the Boats.

They love it. They are not being harmed in anyway, they can also see the Planes (we live under a flight path) and it means I can cook or just sunbathe in the Garden when warm.

Children love to watch and see different things

Squiggly_Diddly

It might be worth you contacting Homestart - they are a charity & offer a befriending service, so you get someone you can make friends with, who will give you a little bit of a break so you can have some time on your own, or take you shopping, etc. You can get in touch with them direct at www.home-start.org.uk so you don't need to go via your doctor etc.

((((hugs))))

zoelouise88

nothavingfun.. i have pm'd you

zoelouise88

Squiggly_Diddly wrote: »

It might be worth you contacting Homestart - they are a charity & offer a befriending service, so you get someone you can make friends with, who will give you a little bit of a break so you can have some time on your own, or take you shopping, etc. You can get in touch with them direct at www.home-start.org.uk so you don't need to go via your doctor etc.

((((hugs))))

thanks for that, have never heard of them before am going to look if nay near me

Carmina_Piranha_3

do you have a garden? i have found a spray bottle filled with water, or a pot of water anbd a paintbrush works wonders - let him spray water on your walls and fences, or paint the walls - it will give you minutes of peace, enough of a break to get dressed perhaps, as long as the garden is secure and you are sure he is safe.

other mums might seem to manage to get things done but i just can't. once i realised that i NEVER get stuff done during the day, and just end up shouting at my 2 year old all the time i just thought well i might as well go out all day, seeing as i won't get any housework done before he falls asleep anyway.

so i make sure the nappy bag always has nappies and a change of clothes in it, and we just have breakfast, get dressed and go to the park. i know i have stuff that needs doing at home but it just won't get done if i stay at home, so we don't.

once they have run all their energy off they are calmer and easier to look after once you come home, they can flop in front of the TV for half an hour while you cook dinner.

arguing with a toddler is exhausting and leaves you feeling really tired. if you are at the park etc. instead of getting stressed at home you might find you aren't as tired when he goes to bed, because you haven't had as much upset during the day.

*HUGS*

hubballi

I don't have kids but do suffer depression from time to time, especially in the winter and I also work in darkrooms.

Anyway, the mere fact that you are bothered about this tells me you are a good mother. At least you are trying. If you just gave up and sat on your hands it would be another thing but you are trying, even when you are feeling low which is twice as hard so don't beat yourself up ;-)

There are parents out there who don't give a fig about what their kids are watching, doing, listening to etc etc which is why we have some of the problems we have today. It won't last forever and I believe if you keep trying eventualy you will breakthrough.

I know exactly what you mean about not even wanting to get dressed, let alone all the other things in a typical day. I have learned to (trying not to sound cheesy) take each step bit by bit. Writing down things I need to do and ticking them off (yes you may have heard all this before but it works) When I see a task I have been putting off because it either boring or looks like hard, difficult work I find once I have started and got over the initial shock of doing it I start to get satisfied, especialy when finished. I talk myself out of everything and see the "what if's". I try not to do that now.

emmy05

!!!!!! the housework, use the summer to get out in the fresh air and enjoy some outside time with him, will do you both the world of good x

mum=money_under_mattress

hello, i remember feeling like the only communication between my daughter

and i, was when i was shouting at her. so my health visitor suggested having a certain time when i

only praised her.

off course it doesn't work all the day every day, and i just had a set play

time with my daughter.

(examples, during playtime if she threw something, i'd pick it up and put it

out of reach, if she picked up ANYTHING and put it in the right place i would

praise her like mad) .worked for me. just those few moments in the day when

i wasn't just shouting.

hannahsmummy1

I will second homestart, i moved to a new area, i didnt have any friends or family around, and my daughter was just getting too much to cope with, my HV put me in touch with them after i rang up one day in tears because i couldnt cope. Homestart were brilliant.

Squiggly_Diddly

zoelouise88 wrote: »

thanks for that, have never heard of them before am going to look if nay near me

I heard about them through my uni course (am training to be a social worker) and thought they sounded like a brilliant organisation - it says they may not cover the entire country, but you can click on the bit that says "need support" and I think search by your area. I thought the fact that you make a link with one volunteer was quite personal, rather than having to deal with several different people.

Hannahsmummy, I'm glad they worked for you too