Cant cope

nothavingfun..

i have a toddler and am on my own with no family. i feel like i cant cope anymore... i keep losing my temper with him when he is doing nothing wrong - just being a normal toddler. i have depression so struggle enough as it is - and then when i shout at him (like i just have) i feel even worse.

i try and make plans to acheive things with my day, but never get anything done as he is at that age where he spends all day challenging in me. i know i shouldnt but i get peed off with him when i try to do something like painting with him, trying to be a good mum, and he just plays up and ends up ruining it. but i know its not him thats ruining it- hes just doing what all kids do- its me thats ruining it by not being able to cope. i dont know what to do and have no one to turn to for help or support

Mips

Take him out all day long walking in the fresh air!

The Park.. the Ducks... kids are usually quieter when out and about

EDIT: Can you chat to a Health Visitor or someone with authority who could perhaps find you a befriending service? Someone who could come and help you with your little one, and offer you chats?

galvanizersbaby

nothavingfun.. wrote: »

i have a toddler and am on my own with no family. i feel like i cant cope anymore... i keep losing my temper with him when he is doing nothing wrong - just being a normal toddler. i have depression so struggle enough as it is - and then when i shout at him (like i just have) i feel even worse.

i try and make plans to acheive things with my day, but never get anything done as he is at that age where he spends all day challenging in me. i know i shouldnt but i get peed off with him when i try to do something like painting with him, trying to be a good mum, and he just plays up and ends up ruining it. but i know its not him thats ruining it- hes just doing what all kids do- its me thats ruining it by not being able to cope. i dont know what to do and have no one to turn to for help or support

Are there any support/playgroups nearby? - sounds like you could do with a bit of adult company and support from others in the same situ x

zoelouise88

hi i am in the exact same situation as you, my lo has just turned 2 and i dred going out or trying to do thngs with him as he always plays up and has tantrums, i stoppd taking him to playgroup it was that bad as he would play up, scream, throw things and head butt me in front of other parents and they would look at me as if i was a bad parent, i really struggle to control him when he does this
i also have been suffering with pnd. when my lo plays up i used to shout at him but then always felt really guilty after, have you spoke to your doctor as its probably the depression that is making you feel lik eyou cant cope.
i am a member of an online parenting forum and chat to oher mums on there and find that a great help.

something_girl

I would join as many groups/mother and toddler things as possible and get out of the house as much as you possibly can, meet others in the same situation. They're little for such a short time, you really need to do something to turn this around, so you don't look back with regret that the early years were so awful. Best of luck

MissSaz

Have you tried talking to your doctor or local health service? They may be able to offer you some help or medication till you feel a bit better

nothavingfun..

thanks- i find it hard to take him out and do things coz of the depression - a lot of days i find it a real obstacle just to get up and dressed. by the time he goes to bed i just collapse in a heap so i need to use the day for doing things like housework, but never get anything done which in turn just 'feeds' the depression, and makes me more grumpy which makes him more likely to play up and so on.

i know what you mean zoe - i took lo out yesterday and he was so naughty he had a major tantrum and we had to come home early

no there are no support groups or surestart or anything as we live in a tiny hamlet and i cant afford to run my car so had to sell it

nothavingfun..

MissSaz wrote: »

Have you tried talking to your doctor or local health service? They may be able to offer you some help or medication till you feel a bit better

i am already on meds for depression. i have told the doc i feel like i cant cope with anything but they just say thata a symptom of depression

Mips

You have to remember - this stage isn't forever

My toddler used to be the same, but mellowed in a mere few months.. now she still has the odd tantrum but understands much better the meaning of 'Give Mummy a few minutes please' and 'You can have sweets after your Dinner, not before'.

It is so easy to feel low and depressed when stuck in all the time, fresh air and a walk is so good for you and your little man and your depression.

He can start Pre-School at 2 and a half

Mips

nothavingfun.. wrote: »

i am already on meds for depression. i have told the doc i feel like i cant cope with anything but they just say thata a symptom of depression

How long have you been on them? Perhaps you need a higher dose or a change to a different type?

If it is the first stages of taking the Tablets, I do believe it can take a few weeks to start working.

zoelouise88

i was put on meds to but found they made me feel worse so i stopped taking them, i am not a very confident person so face to face i cant really speak to people properly so i couldnt bring my self to go to a support group, which is why i started using parenting forums