Redsquirrel's 'Striving For Better Days' Diary

boredofbeingathome

Sorry to hear that Squizz..i know it will all work out in the end for you chin up hun.x

redsquirrel80

Thanks guys, it means a lot to me. Managed to get a bit of sleep until he decided to phone again to "see if I was ok" and then tell me he had nothing to say to me (why phone then?)... Then another call a while ago about how fed up he is with life in general and giving me very mixed messages about things... the strange thing is whenever he's previously talked like this I've made such an effort to talk him round and excuse all sorts, but I don't feel like I've got that fight in me anymore... sick of trying to prove that I'm good enough. Anyway, suppose I should get out of bed, going round to friend's later (was already arranged but needed more than ever now)... and back to work tomorrow, ugh.

Karmacat

Oh squizz. There's some stuff going on there, as you can tell now, and its not yours. You shouldn't be having to prove yourself constantly. Hope you enjoy yourself at your friend's, hun.

redsquirrel80

Hi all.. nothing much to report, we had a civil enough conversation at lunchtime (after he'd tried to phone me for most of the morning), don't really want to discuss it all by phone so it's all a bit in limbo till the weekend when we can sit down in person - quite nice to have a bit of breathing/ thinking space really. Seems like he wants to forget it happened at all and carry on as normal but I know it's only a matter of time till it happens again.

Back at work today which is not much fun but at least it's keeping me busy, and it's only 3 weeks till I'm off for a fortnight! Checked bank balance this morning and it's not healthy so am on the pound a day thing again, not done too well so far as I needed toilet roll yesterday and didn't get up early enough to make lunch today so had to buy a sandwich. Need to check all the survey sites to see what vouchers I have due for Christmas shopping - anything that requires cash is going to have to wait so I will be one of those silly people running round the shops on the very last weekend... :rolleyes:

Karmacat

Well you've got to have toilet roll! Unless you go to the council toilets and nick some from there ...

Seriously, it does sound very tough. He keeps pushing you away, and then tries to pull you back - it sounds right that its going to happen again. It can be painful whatever happens, I'm afraid.

Maybe living on your budget will be a useful distraction most of the time? Not one you'd choose, of course.

Have a good evening, squizz.

redsquirrel80

Hehe.. I have been known to pinch the occasional yard of toilet roll from work!

The budget thing doesn't feel so hard this time, I guess because I did it last month (would rather not do it every month though!) and because it was worth it to have the break last week. I might have to invest in some cough mixture though as I seem to have the start of some sort of bug.. sore tonsils and lots of coughing.. and my eyes have started to hurt.. hmmph.

LouiseJ

You take care Squizz xxx I find covonia to be good for coughs and sore throats although I have been drinking lots of honey and lemon in hot water and that seems to do just as good a job and is alot cheaper and more soothing.

Hope you feel better soon x

redsquirrel80

Thanks Lou - that's a good idea, am sure I've got lemon juice and honey at home. Not sure I should be at work but will hang on and see how it goes.

Just realised that last payday marked the end of my ten month challenge.. as per my sig..

Raise debt min payments from 'extra stuff' for 10 months - total £1301.65/ £1650.

So, didn't quite make it to the target, but as it turns out, the amount I paid off my debt (thanks to all the messing about by DCAs) was actually less than that... so although I still feel I've been permanently skint, it has in fact been so much better for doing all the extra stuff.

LouiseJ

Well done on the debt repayment Hun :T its definitaly going in the right direction.

boredofbeingathome

Well you have achieved overpayments and had a life at the same time...i wouldn't worry about it as you are going up not down and proving how much you can do for yourself as well.
I always find it amazing how little we can live on at times and it is good foundation for the future as well...so Well done on your challenge:T