how to get wife to support my budgeting activity

MPwannasavemoney

I am allowed to turn the heating down at night.

I'm not going to bother following up the car mpg advice - we only bought the car last year and to sell it now will mean suffering a big loss in value that will take some time to make up for in petrol savings.

MPwannasavemoney

Apologies accepted.

unfortunately the £500 is for personal expenditure.

even more unfortunately we have had very big arguments over money - we both know this could be the one thing that splits us up - everything else between us is fine. That is why I posted here to see what help I could get.

rchddap1

I'm not surprised about the arguments over money thing. In fact looking through your other posts I pretty much expected it. With any luck you both will be able to sort this, but in order to do so you BOTH need to work together and compromise. I can see that you are willing to work this out, but so far I have seen no evidence that she is willing to give a little....and this worries me.

Rikki

Can I be rude and ask what is her personal expenditure for each month and what money does she have for the children each month?
I was thinking what savings you could make here and any monies not spent from that allowence could be recycled back into the house funds.

MPwannasavemoney

I know savings could be made from here (£500 per month plus 2 child allowance). I had some visibility a few years ago on where this money was going and no longer know what it is all for. She would occassionaly still exceed this budget and get overdrawn; only since last year has she learnt to try and stick to this budget for her expenditure. Problem now is that she sees this money as hers and is entitled to it for all the housework she does in the house etc. and thinks any savings that can be made should be invested for the children. I've tried explaining there is no point investing / saving £20,000 for the children when our mortgage will have to increase by £30,000 simply to pay our way over the same time period. I think this point is still sinking in.

margaretclare

MPwannasavemoney wrote:

I am allowed to turn the heating down at night.

Well, that's good news at least.

I'm not going to bother following up the car mpg advice - we only bought the car last year and to sell it now will mean suffering a big loss in value that will take some time to make up for in petrol savings.

No, I agree not to sell it - but by paying attention to e.g. the tyre pressures and driving it according to the manufacturer's recommendation of revs plus miles per litre, you could save a lot.

We find from experience that this little Fiesta does best if driven at 2,500 revs. But I know many, many people who don't even know that there IS a rev counter, much less ever look at it! They're wearing out the engine prematurely and also using much more petrol than necessary. With the cost of fuel going up and oil reserves going down, I would have thought that these simple points were what all drivers should be mindful of.

Aunty Margaret

kingfisher1961

I have been reading your thread with interest. I can't give you any advice on how to get through to your wife but I feel you will struggle as it sounds as if she has always had everything she wanted?

Just a thought on your shopping bill though, £600 is alot of money for a couple with two small children. Have you thought about trying a cheaper supermarket for a month such as Morrisons or Asda. You may not be able to find everything you normally buy at Sainsburys but after a month you might be pleasantly surprised.

You have also mentioned your wife wants a new kitchen. We have recently updated ours by replacing the cupboard doors with new oak doors (the old doors were oak but were too far gone) and a new oven,hob and dishwasher.
It has cost us about £2500 paid for by selling my car which we couldn't afford to run.

Rikki

Could you tell to your wife that you have to reduce the amount of money she can have this month due to other financial commitments. If she rants and raves say: I have tried to talk to you and explain we are having financial difficulties but you haven't listened, its now got to the situation that we have to seriously start tightening our belts and making reductions in our spending. Tell her you will be reducing the amount you can spend on food and you will have to shop around more. Buying new clothes as they are needed, reducing heating bills, changing the light bulbs etc.Tell her £600 is alot of free money to have each month. Ask her what are the most importent things this money is used to pay for and you will make sure they are covered.
Changes your financial situation is forcing you to do this. If you don't make changes now it could become alot worse.

MPwannasavemoney

The car is automatic - can't control the revs.
The tyre pressures are fine - I check them regularly.
Even if I could change the car without loss in value - finding another automatic on the 2nd hand market is very difficult in £5000 - £6000 price range - you don't really get the choice of which is going to be better mileage or not. Plus you can't really rely on manufacturers figures for mileage. Also you can't buy a 2nd hand car and ask what is its mpg and get a true answer.

Spendless

Do you know what the £500 a month is being spent on? Is it possible that there is debt that you're unaware of? Is it being spent on clothes/make-up/shoes? Do the children have lots of clothes/toys/expensive activities?

I think you need to sit down with figures and work out where it is all going,as then you should be able to see where cut-backs can be made.