Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

Forgetmenot68

Oh dear, I typed a long reply then lost it... but thank you George and Lucielle, I will reply properly tomorrow.

FMN xx

rubydoiwannabee

Hi FMN
Chin up hun.

Like you I have found the holidays much harder to deal with financially than expected. I figured that not paying petrol and parking for work would leave me plenty of money to keep the children entertained, but things just keep croping up and it is really, really, tough!! The money is just being spent really easily.

What does work well for DH and I though is withdrawing a set amount of cash every weekend to last the week and not using debit cards at all. I hope this works for you too.

xxxxx

debtweary

Hi FMN et al,

we have just spent our annual holiday at home and counting the pennies(literally). Its rained and then rained again and its the first time in years there has not been a foreign shore to visit. Thank goodness we live in a popular, scenic part of the country and if the sun happens to shine we can whizz out for a couple of hours to enjoy the beach, moors etc.

Its been a cr*! holiday and made us realise how deep a hole we are in. We really have no money and like you all, we live off cash and debit cards are redundant.

There is no quick fix and the realisation that this lifestyle is now set for the next few years is daunting to say the least.

On a brighter note all our creditors are being good and are payments are working out well for now. Which means for the first time in years we are reducing our debt and not increasing it. We are going to do as previous poster suggested and work out target dates for the debts to be repaid.

Sorry not to be uplifting and inspiring. I have moaned but it feels a little better to write it down.

Good luck getting through the holidays and to the next pay day!!

DW xxx

lucielle

Morning FMN, what positive nice thing are you going to do today? I'm off to the chiropodist (sp) should come back walking on air!!!! Not very DFW but needed. Hope you have a good one.
L

Forgetmenot68

Morning Lucielle! Well the nice positive thing I'm going to do today is have a fifth birthday party for my youngest daughter. Far fewer children invited than "normal", no bouncy castle or party bags - just a tube of smarties to go home with. But I've made a sherrif's badge cake (she's a tomboy!), there will be games aplenty, and I honestly don't think they'll notice. I'll report back on whether there were any complaints! I hope the chiropodist sorts you out and gives you back some fairy dancers. I am starting to worry about Christmas too. Home made presents for everyone except the children, and for them, well, they'll manage... xx

debtweary - that's great news about your creditors. I'm looking forward to plugging in some numbers to the debt repayment calculator as well, one day not too far off I hope. We are at home for the first time this summer like you, though my husband (who is the real sun worshipper) is talking wistfully of future holidays we might have. It hasn't worried me too much. It's quite nice not to have all that packing and travelling to organise, and we have had a couple of nights days camping already, and another two planned. It is daunting realising that things are not going to change very quickly. I really appreciate you posting and didn't think you were moaning at all! Thanks for good luck wishes. The same back to you! xx

ruby - hi, and thanks for that. Telling the children that they can't have x and we can't go to y is hard, but all these things cost so much money when you add them up. We've tried to keep things simple, but even not buying meals at the festival last month for the anniversary weekend, we still ended up spending far more than we should have done. We should have taken a fixed sum. Well, we did, but being with other people who were spending differently to us, we ran out and had to get more. Because of the occasion, we didn't want to make an issue of it, but I felt horribly guilty afterwards. It was just teas, and icecream, things like that, but they're never cheap at these places are they? My husband's salary goes in today and I'm going to withdraw cash for the week. I think it will be a good discipline for us both to realise that there is truly no plastic any more. xx

George, thank you so much for your wise words. I think you're absolutely right about the enormity of it only just hitting me. It's just such a huge amount of money to owe, and until our creditors agree to our offers, it's growing, and that frightens me. I will definitely put the totals in my signature if/when it becomes stable. I know I'm a bit unfair on my husband sometimes, expecting him to be 100% in the loop when I don't always tell him what's going on, and I deal with all the post, bills etc now. We both feel better when we talk. It doesn't help that his first langauge isn't English (though he's completely fluent, there are always ambiguities in speech). I don't want him to feel emasculated by this experience. He does look at this site, and I know he appreciates what it does for me, with all the support and information I've received here. I hate to think of the state we'd be in if hadn't found you all! It is a journey, not a race. You're so right. xx

I had a call from an agency that I was interviewed for last week and they want to put me forward for a job that sounds interesting, so that's a bit of postive news. Also, I have finished the first draft of my book, which feels amazing after three years. Some re-writing and editing to do, but a friend of mine has a literary agent friend of hers coming to stay next weekend, and
she has offered to read it, so I am highly motivated to get it looking like a proper book over this next week!

Thank you all for your ongoing support.

FMN xxxxx

lucielle

Hi FMN, hope you have recovered from the party. Did it go ok? I am relieved my chaps are beyond the party bag stage, it used to drive me nuts getting all the tat to put in them . What happened to a piece of cake and the excitement to see what colour the jelly was?
Absolutely marvelous news regarding the literary agent, I hope that goes well for you. Have you any idea when you hear about the job?
L

Forgetmenot68

Hi Lucielle, they didn't tell me when, just that they would "get back to me". I guess it's whether their client thinks I'm worth an interview after years of fallow! I've always hated party bags, both giving and receiving. 3 separate children asked me during the party whether they'd be getting one... grrr. It went fine otherwise - nice day so we set up the water slide and there was the glorious sight of lots of naked children running around in the sunshine. We hardly needed the games, it went so quickly and they all seemed to have a lovely time. My friend with a literary agent friend was there, and she suggested that I email her with my book in advance of the weekend, so we could get together and she could comment. Panicked at the thought of only having a few days to get it into shape! It's worth doing though, especially while I have the momentum.

FMN xx

debtweary

Hi FMN again,

sounds like you had a wonderful day.

Good luck with your book and your job prospects - I have long yearned to write a book, (fiction) but not nearly clever enough!

Its been a better day for us. Funny how things turn up just when you need it - money that is. I sometimes wonder if there is a greater hand in all this. Who knows?

DW xx

Forgetmenot68

Debtweary, of course you're clever enough! Don't write a book, write a sentence, then a couple more until you have a prargraph, then write another paragraph. That's the way to do it! I'm glad you had a good day yesterday. I'm sure there are powers at work, somewhere... xx

I opened the post this morning to find two horrible letters however.. One from Lloyds TSB who we owe £2300, saying the £6 a month that we proposed to pay was unacceptable because our budget showed that we couldn't afford it. Actually our budget showed that we had £123 left each month for creditors so I don't know what they're talking about. But they're now passing our account to their Debt Recovery Team after they've sent us legal letters. We can phone them to discuss it. Shall we? The other letter was from our bank of 19 years who closed our accounts in spite of the fact that we've been good customers, always paid what we owe, etc. This was a default notice because we didn't agree to pay the £75/month that they asked for their £448 debt on a credit card. Not sure what they're going to say about our £4000 overdraft. Mbna (Virgin) is still calling us every day although we've asked them for a written response to our offer. Oh....I just want all this to be settled!

Small girl's actual birthday today and she'd had her heart set on going bowling. Think I've persuaded her that staying home and watching a dvd tonight having made our own individual pizzas is much more fun...!

FMN XX

rog2

paulroker wrote: »

i thought it would be pretty obvious.. sell the house and go live in a caravan somewhere

Reported as abusive.