Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

Forgetmenot68

I'm ashamed......

binnie

Hi FMN,
Good luck on the job front, hope you get a job soon.
xx

Forgetmenot68

Thank you Binnie. I can't even talk about it for fear of jinxing it, again, but I had a very positive phone interview as well as a good agency interview on Thursday. We'll have to wait and see, but at the very least I suppose, the more interviews I have the better I'll get at them...

FMN xx

lucielle

Hi FMN, any news regarding jobs? How are the holidays going?
L

Forgetmenot68

Hi Lucielle, no news on jobs yet though interviews coming up. And the holidays are fine thanks. My husband took the children away for three days so that I could write, and now I've nearly finished my book. A few days afterwards at my parents and now home, feeling slightly stir crazy with my husband off for another week. How are your holidays?

Regarding our debts, I've written to all our creditors asking them to accept pro-rata payments based on the £123 that CCCS estimate we have each month. A couple of them had already accepted the £1 a month we offered initially, so I'm hopeful. Sorry though, I'm frustrated by the fact that I'm doing everything, my husband is relaxing and when he takes the odd call (because all the cards were in his name) he clearly doesn't know what the situation is with each creditor, and he was just rude to one of the people that called us. He seems to think they are obliged to accept what we offer. I've tried to explain that we have to try and keep good relations with them all and that it's we need their goodwill. The situation is getting to us both. I got cross and he fired back that since this all happened I've been making him feel like s**t. I know we need to try and work together and me feeling bitter and resentful doesn't help any of us.

Still, I've nearly finished my book! I'd given myself the deadline of Oct 1st for approaching agents and that's looking possible now, thanks to my husband taking the children away for a few days. In spite of the fact it's taken me three years to write, he has confidence in me. I should be showing him the same shouldn't I?

FMN

lucielle

I know my Oh would rather blast them. We had a situation with CSMA and I managed to talk to them even though it was in his name, I just got him to give 'permission' to talk on his behalf. The situation has been resolved now.

With regards to the hols, they seem to be going very quickly. Going away for a few days next week.
L

lucielle

How are you doing?
L

Forgetmenot68

Thanks for posting Lucielle. With the last phone call he asked them to speak to me after I read your suggestion. It was an MBNA (Virgin) call centre, and I just repeated that we've written to them (they would have received our letter early this week) and would they please write to us with their response and no, we'd rather not go through security. I'm guessing these poor guys have a list of "bad debts" and work through them, earning commission on the percentage they persuade you to pay. It's only the beginning but it is wearing. I don't like feeling that we're on the wrong side of the law.

I'm feeling a little down to be honest. We're struggling to stay within budget during the holidays, and now I'm worried I was a bit hasty offering pro-rata payments. We've decided that we're going to draw cash each week and use that to live on, never using our debit card at all. It's probably obvious and I'm sure that's the way a lot of us manage on here, but it seems to have taken longer for the penny to drop in our household.

The holidays are going by so fast, and I know I'll be sorry in lots of ways once they're over as I love having the children around. At the same time I feel a bit paralysed, trying to juggle their fun times with coping with looking for a job, dealing with the creditors, bills etc.

Still, onwards and upwards! I must try and remember how far we've come already and use that as motivation to propel us forward to the next stage.

FMN xx

GeorgeUK

Keep the faith FMN.

It sounds as if the enormity has just hit you, but don't try to tackle it all at once. You may be standing in front of a mountain, but you only need to dig through it a piece at a time rather than move the entire thing. Split it all down into small parts and look at what your immediate objectives and requirements are. You'll soon be making good progress and be aware of it too.

Why not add a running total in your signature to keep you focussed. Not sure what to suggest regarding hubby, but it may help him to cope better if you have a "meeting" once a week to go over what has happened and if anything needs aired, then you can both do it without it building into something worse. It's all very well dealing with your debts, but don't forget to live while you're doing it.

Has he had a look at this site? He may feel a little isolated from it all and reading some of the threads on here may help to keep perspective without it all becoming overwhelming. It's taken you years to create the debt so will probably take years to get out of it. The good news is that you're already on your way there - just take it one step at a time. It's a journey, not a race.

Hope things improve soon and the writing is going ok.

lucielle

Hi FMN, I feel as if the hols are going too quickly. I enjoy (most of the time) having the children off. It makes a change from the usual running about and reminding (nagging) to do homework.

We have to take baby steps with our debt. I am counting the months down until next May when 1 debt is clear and we can start snowballing. I feel that we are treading water at the moment and am absolutely dreading Christmas. We will get through it (somehow). Take Care
L