HELLO From New Zealand

RupertTheCat

Forgot to say - the education I received in NZ was brilliant, way better than I would have had in the UK, so maybe it is better to stay until your child has gone through secondary. I loved my high school in NZ and one of my family won a scholarship to one of the UK's top universities to do her PHD when she at uni in NZ, so your children's education definitely won't suffer from being out there.

chevalier

RupertTheCat wrote: »

I would say it takes at least 2 years if not longer to settle in a country - I remember my mother wanting to come back to the UK for about the first 3 years we were out there (she did nothing but cry for that time), but she eventually settled in, made friends and only came back to England in her 70s. And has done nothing but moan about how expensive England is ever since!

I do hope everything works out for you.

I guess if it had only been 3 years, I could agree with you. But in less than two weeks we will have been here 5 years. How long am I supposed to wait for this to get better? Should I waste another 5 years on it? I would be over 50 then my OH 55 nearly. What chance of him for employment then?

I have not had one person seek me out at school for instance to ask me how my trip is.

In fact my one island of happiness in an otherwise barren desert is the people I work with at the charity shop.

We haven't chatted about OH and I. Have had too much life to deal with since we got back. And to be honest until this weekend we have both had awful jet lag (worst I have ever had), so not been in much state to talk about it..... sigh.

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello virtual stranger xxx

I'd start saving for the air fares! and applying for jobs here - register with temp agencies?

Scary but I think doable?

although I suppose you do have to talk oh first

I don't envy you that conversation with OH

xxx

GreyhoundAngel

Hi Chev,

Good to catch up with your updates

Sorry that things don't seem to be improving any for you on the homefront

Only you can know what is best for you, but life is too short to waste it - go with your heart.

Angel xx

*Robin*

Oh Chev, your dilemma seems harder than ever! (((hugs)))

How do your boys - particularly DS1 - feel?

I appreciate that you've probably not asked directly whether they'd prefer NZ or UK, but Mum's intuition must have given you a few clues recently?


On another tack, some background research before making a decision: Given the time you've been away, how would this affect your entitlement to state support in the UK, if you return?
Am thinking of access to the NHS, but other things may be problematic too (ie. unemployment and pension benefits).

More (((hugs))) from someone who understands RL isolation.

HeadAboveWater

*hugs* from me too.

After 5 years you would think you would feel 'at home' in NZ. The fact that you're still unsettled.... How do your boys feel?

Wol2

Hi Chev

Sorry to hear things aren't working out as you;d hoped.

Can you explore some practicalities if you did move back - eg schools/jobs etc so you have some answers prepared for when you tackle DH and the kids?

Sending you lots of hugs (and piggie kisses from your adopted nephews....)

xxxx

brizzledfw

Sorry Chev to read this..hope you find a way forward soon .

alioops78

Hi Chev

Sorry to read that you're unsettled. When we emigrated to Aus I know it took my mum at least 8 years to start to get settled and now 30 years on when they come back to the UK they don't even feel at home there and have not once regretted their decision.

I guess it takes everyone a different length of time to become accustomed to a different country. I've now been back in the UK 7 years and I'm still finding it difficult to get used to things but I have made fantastic friends and have a wonderful OH and family-in-law.

Really wish that good things will come your way soon and looking back my Parents didn't make friends through our schools they made them through Church or through work.

Good luck
Alioops x

HappyNow

Really sorry to hear how you're struggling Chev. Massive decisions ahead of you, good luck xxx