HELLO From New Zealand

sillylittlejill

Hi Chev

Just read the whole thread, I am so insanely jealous, as a 20 yr old girl living back in her parents front room with my OH, unemployed and poor, you have my dream life, it has always been a dream of mine to live in New Zealand, or at least spend a few months there.

It sounds like you have settled down a bit more since xmas, your xmas sounds amazing, my OH would LOVE to have hotdogs for xmas dinner!!

Hope that DS2 starts to sleep a bit better soon. Can't wait for you to get your paperwork sorted out! Really excited for you!

Was it difficult to make the decision to move to NZ initially? I want to leave the country but my OH is a really old fashioned royalist, he loves England and only wants to leave for Oz whereas I want to go to either Mallorca (Soller, love it!) or NZ, slightly different I know!!

Has your OH's nationality made it easier? Just trying to imagine how difficult it would be if me and OH moved.

Hope I don't come across as too nosey, its just that you're "living the dream"! How is it going with the tablets? Are you completely off them now?

Can't wait to read more about your wonderful new life!

:hug:

xxx

Wol2

Weeeek weeek Auntie Chev

We had our warmest day so far (13degC) and we are so looking forward to when the dandelions start growing again and we can eat grass all day in the run.

Our mummy is still waiting for the insurance company's final response but is going to the OMbudsman on 1st April. We're pleased you beat her to it on your side of the world (she was a bit miffed but didn;t stop our carrots thank goodness) and hope you get sorted in the next couple of weeks.

Oh...and we DO like apples...can you send a food parcel please...........weeek weeeek


xxxxx


Note from mummy: Bloomin traitors - so that's all the thanks I get......

Hope you're Ok Chev......hugs being sent regularly over to you....
xxxx

kiwifruit_2

Nice to read your updates...I think immigration in any country is carp lol...Rodney aye !!! At least the winters arent too cruel up north... Anyway hope your enjoying my homeland as much as Im still enjoying your Oh except hokey pokey icecream wouldnt go a miss over here !!

chevalier

sillylittlejill wrote: »

Hi Chev

Just read the whole thread, I am so insanely jealous, as a 20 yr old girl living back in her parents front room with my OH, unemployed and poor, you have my dream life, it has always been a dream of mine to live in New Zealand, or at least spend a few months there. There are pluses and minuses to it. But if you both have skills on their needed register, you will have enough points to come here And it is not just skills you would normally think of, eg they needed shepherds when i last looked!

It sounds like you have settled down a bit more since xmas, your xmas sounds amazing, my OH would LOVE to have hotdogs for xmas dinner!! That was a good day as well as the going to the beach and paddling in the afternoon.

Was it difficult to make the decision to move to NZ initially? I want to leave the country but my OH is a really old fashioned royalist, he loves England and only wants to leave for Oz whereas I want to go to either Mallorca (Soller, love it!) or NZ, slightly different I know!!I like Aus to visit but it has the 10 most poisonous snakes and spiders in the world there, and with two young children I was just too paranoid.

Has your OH's nationality made it easier? Just trying to imagine how difficult it would be if me and OH moved. Yes OH being an Aussie meant that we could come out here with him NOT having a job, and him get one without getting a work permit (his aussie passport was his permit), whereas if you are British only then I think you would have to get a job before you came over here.

How is it going with the tablets? Are you completely off them now? Not quite off them yet, but getting there.

xxx

We are just going into Autumn here now and I thought the trees wouldn't change colour but they are and they are very pretty.

chev

chevalier

Wol2 wrote: »

Weeeek weeek Auntie Chev

We had our warmest day so far (13degC) and we are so looking forward to when the dandelions start growing again and we can eat grass all day in the run.

Our mummy is still waiting for the insurance company's final response but is going to the OMbudsman on 1st April. Hey I am glad to hear this. By the way the two week thing didn't work just as I suspected ie it is 3 weeks at least now and no permit. As we are past the 1 April have you had an outcome yet?

We're pleased you beat her to it on your side of the world (she was a bit miffed but didn;t stop our carrots thank goodness) and hope you get sorted in the next couple of weeks.

Oh...and we DO like apples...can you send a food parcel please...........weeek weeeek


xxxxx
Weeek weeek back, so very sorry but I think the apples would go a bit funny in the post, but when they sort out a working transporter a la star trek I will be sure to send you some!

Note from mummy: Bloomin traitors - so that's all the thanks I get......

Hope you're Ok Chev......hugs being sent regularly over to you....
xxxx

see below as to how things are SIGH
chev

chevalier

Well just when things are going along ok ish - ie have reduced my meds and feel ok. Boys are doing ok in school, the weather is still holding up ok, along comes something to completely set me back on my heals.

To explain, I was badly bullied in my primary school. 35 years ago it was uncommon for parents to divorced, and I was called allsorts including the other word for illegitimate. I was beaten up a couple of times and regularly chase home from school.

As a result I consider bullies and bullying to be the lowest of the low, and have time again told the boys, that name calling is not ok, hitting is not ok etc etc.

So imagine, my fury, disgust, upset, to be taken aside by my older boys teacher and told that he had been calling the new Indian boy in school (ie from India, rather than british indian, if that makes any difference) indian boy, and coffee boy. Now I know that it is not much, and thank god we have been very careful around both boys, such that he doesn't really know any worse words.

But this young lad in a new country is having to deal with my equally new in country son calling him this. And of course he is getting upset. What is almost worse is that it is upsetting other members or my son's class and they are coming to the teacher and telling her that this is wrong. What on EARTH can I do or say to him now. I can hardly speak to him I am that upset.

I am also annoyed at the school because this is the THIRD time that he has been pulled up for this, but the FIRST time that I have heard anything about it.

So now they have dumped it back in our lap to deal with. The next step for the school is that my DS would be kept in at school breaks and lunchtime. But that would isolate him even more than he is (teacher says he is often playing off by himself great tell me now why don't you. We only had parents evening 2 weeks ago and none of this was mentioned).

I mean what is a good enough sanction to stop a 7.5 year old doing this? What should we withdraw from him and for how long. Currently he is sitting down in his room til my OH gets home so that we can deal with it together.

I really don't know what to do for the best. At least in part, because if I said say right you won't go to x y and z over the holidays say, then that means that my other Ds loses out because I have no one to leave my eldest with, whilst I take my youngest anywhere.

Really hope that someone can help please
chev

urg123

Hi Chev

Firstly, I wanted to say congratulations for following your dream.

It must be so hard to have to hear that from the teacher. I am sure that the teacher wanted to deal with it in class and hoped taking it out of the classroom wasn't necessary.

I am sure that you will handle it well - your experiences of being bullied will help you to explain what it must be like for the other little boy. They are also both in the same boat - new kids in a new country - maybe they could be friends.

Hope it goes well.

urg x x

Seaxwyn

HI Chev
Glad to hear things are going well generally but I'm sorry to hear of this latest situation to deal with. What a horrible shock to hear that about your son.

I'm sure at 7.5 he is not an ingrained racist and is just trying it out. As urg123 says, tyring to get him to understand how it will feel like for the other boy might help. And the novelty of the Indian boy's 'difference' is bound to wear off soon, when he realises they have more in common than different. Could you invite the Indian boy round to play so they get to know each other? Also talk to the teacher as they must have experience and training to draw on - make it clear to them that you need to deal with the problem together and not have them dump the responsibility on you.

Good luck in dealing with it - and let us know how you get on.

RAS

Hi

Chev

I would sart by asking him where he has learned such language and who used it in what context.

Maybe he heard older kids and thinks this is grown -up? You could explain how it looks to you and why you find his behaviour (not him) unacceptable.

Then talk to the other lad's parents and arrange few play sessions?

chevalier

Well the upshot of it was that he has lost his pocket money for this week, and he had to write a letter of apology which he read out in front of his class.

My OH had a long talk to him about it, and when he realised that what he had done was bullying that really upset him, as he hadn't put what he said in that context.

So we had lots of tears that night.

Having had a further talk to the teacher, it turns out that other had been doing this before him, (which is how he heard it, we didn't think he had made it up himself, and we are thankful we were proved right), and those other times it has been squashed too.

His doing it had only been on the Friday and the Monday so the school had acted pretty much as soon as they could. Which was also a relief. Anyway the last 3 days of school seem to have gone alright and we are now on holidays so hopefully it will all be forgotten when they start back next term.

chev