Depression Support Thread

shazrobo

hugs for feelie, anni, diamond, fairydawn, curled, and anybody else having a bad day.
as sons were up early same as me, we had a drive over to blackpool, and it rained:o , still it was a change to get out, i always feel better after going out, staying in makes me more depressed, but hate going anywhere on my own.
had fish and chips in harry ramsden's for a treat at dinner time, and they were lovely.
hugs
shaz xxxx

Steph123_2

Aw i love blackpool, it reminds me of happier times! Ive been for a walk today, had to force myself to leave the house as i dont like to go out alone. Then i got rained on, which i liked. It made me feel alive. Weird i know. X

whitevanwoman

:think: :think:

absolutebounder wrote: »

Ego based realities live of the perceptions of others.
They need external support (validation, acceptance, admiration etc) or they crumble.
The person sends out "pinging" signals to get appreciation or sympathy back. That is easy to see here from posts that demand a reply such as "Im feeling down". These posts tell other people nothing so they have to ask what is up and then give hugs, etc when the problem is revealed
They prevent you from making the mistakes you need to in order to learn. You learn more by doing things wrong but to the ego it is more important to save face than it is to get results. It blames others for mistakes or to rationalise failures. It actually gives your true power away because one needs others to vallidat accept and admire you instead of finding everything you need inside yourself.
Because that is where the answers lie. Not with a therapist psychologist etc but with you. You have the resources to fix the problem(s) but may not be able to find them and to me that is the best a therapist can do, help you find the resources again.
An illness like man flu is easy for a doctor because he knows that an organism has invaded your body and has to be killed but mind illnesses are not an invasion by another organism but rather more like a corruption of the minds programs and in reality only your mind knows where the corruption is.
People just say to the therapist I want to be better but without actually helping the therapist to find the root problem that is often covered up by the ego which means the therapist gets the blame for a nigh on impossible task.
To me good therapy slowly lets you find the resources you need by allowing you to think in a different way. By allowing you to realise that your ego is really your enemy and the real you that lurks under the mask is a much better and nicer person anyway.
Try to let go of the outcome. This does NOT mean dont have any goals. but put simply dont rely on your goals for your sense of value Goals are about direction not points.
Badger I have not as far as I know met you but I have in the past had a pm from someone on MSE mentioning you and saying what a great person you are. I suspect that person sees the true you, probably more than you yourself do.

:think: :think: :think:

Hi - just skim read your post and am off to reread and digest for a while. V interesting, and even after just a skim read, I think you've made some really helpful points which for people like us are not easy to accept and understand, but we need to hear/read/understand these points in order to move on.

I was diagnosed with BPD after completing a questionnaire at the Psychiatric Dept of my local hospital about 4 years ago, after years of episodic major depressions including suicide attempts, with occasional shortlived giddy manic phases, intense mood swings, low self-esteem, lots of short term relationships, few friends etc etc . Then 3 months ago during a very severe depression, I was told I had anxious avoidant PD, with symptoms of PTSD and am currently on anti-deps and mood stabilisers to minimise the mood swings and slight manias caused by the ADs. I believe that I also have OCD tendancies. My GP is great - he has a background in mental health and I believe that he has helped me tremendously since I registered with him 2 yrs ago.

I had a years pyschodynamic therapy which finished 3 years ago; throughout that year I could not see the point of the therapy and tbh, still don't really, and I don't have any real memories of any of the weekly sessions but my GP has been telling me for the past few months that I am benefitting from that therapy now, and am doing my own psychotherapy for myself. I,ve not been sure if he's right, but every now and then, often when I least expect it, a piece of the jigsaw inside my head falls into place, when I hadn't even realised I'd been looking for it, and something suddenly makes sense & I realise why I reacted to something the way I did. I'm in the process of being referred for a short course of CBT because despite the progress, I still feel that although I might understand the reasons for my behaviour, there are still (alot of) times when I have no control over my emotions and I need some coping strategies to put into place when that happens. I'm actually quite looking forward to it now.

Like I said I'm going to give your post some thought and will post my thoughts in due course.

Hello to everyone btw - it is so nice to be back - I thought the thread had been taken off forever in Feb/March and am so glad to have found you all again, even though I was still fairly new then myself and there's loads of new people here now.

gillette147

curled wrote: »

Hi

I've been a reader for a while and kept wanting to post but wasn't really sure what to say.

I've suffered from depression since I was 4 - happy to explain why but not sure how to put it (39 now).

Anyway I have got to the point where I just don't feel that I can keep 'pulling myself together' and 'putting a brave face on it'.

I've had counselling, drugs, specialists etc until it's coming out of my ears but all I really want is to be understood by someone, anyone. I know that my family, partner and GP have no idea what my life is like - they're just not interested.

Finally the only way I can feel half able to cope is through alcohol which I know is not the right road to take.

Anyway I'll leave it there, sorry to intrude I just thought it might help to see it in black and white.

A

Sit down and take your coat off.
You have found somewhere
((HUG))

gillette147

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Fg - I'm surviving as best I can, but I'm having an argument with Karl at the moment. He is belittling myself and my mental health and making out like I'm stupid and a doormat and I will not let anyone treat me like that. Just a couple of weeks ago I would have been passive and not stood up for myself but now I have come too far to let anyone treat me in such a manner, whether they were once a friend or not. He asked if I have forgiven him. When will he learn it's not about forgiving him, it's about trusting him and I don't. He betrayed my trust and trust is very important to me. How are you feeling hun?

Tulip - :wave: Hello hun. How are you feeling today? *hugs*

xx

Tell Karl your mate is 6'5 and he's feeling like smashing his face in.
xxx

LadyMorticia

I have achieved one thing I wanted to do today and that is the washing.

It might only be one thing but it's a start I guess.

Didn't go to the drop in today as I didn't feel mentally up to it but will try and go on Monday. I have the doctors on Monday too so I'll be in town anyway.

xx

LadyMorticia

:rotfl: Gillette.

gillette147

LadyMorticia wrote: »

:rotfl: Gillette.

I'm not really agressive but I am 6'5 and I can put a good act on.
And he sounds like a s h i t..........you don't need all that and you don't need him.
xxx

LadyMorticia

gillette147 wrote: »

I'm not really agressive but I am 6'5 and I can put a good act on.
And he sounds like a s h i t..........you don't need all that and you don't need him.
xxx

He keeps asking me "Are we friends?" and "Am I still seeing you on 4th July?" and I feel like saying "!!!!!!. You overtsepped my boundaries and now I don't trust you. I'm ignoring you and don't want to speak to you. What do you think?" lol.

I can be very sarcastic sometimes.

Wow. You're tall. Karl is 6ft1 and I look like a midget against him. I'd look minuscule compared to you. :rotfl:

xx

hazeyjewel

Evening all, how are you all tonight?:D