Depression Support Thread

feelinggood_2

curled wrote: »

Hi

I've been a reader for a while and kept wanting to post but wasn't really sure what to say.

I've suffered from depression since I was 4 - happy to explain why but not sure how to put it (39 now).

Anyway I have got to the point where I just don't feel that I can keep 'pulling myself together' and 'putting a brave face on it'.

I've had counselling, drugs, specialists etc until it's coming out of my ears but all I really want is to be understood by someone, anyone. I know that my family, partner and GP have no idea what my life is like - they're just not interested.

Finally the only way I can feel half able to cope is through alcohol which I know is not the right road to take.

Anyway I'll leave it there, sorry to intrude I just thought it might help to see it in black and white.

A

Hi Curled

First off, you are not intruding! You are more than welcome to post here, glad you have found us. Hopefully you'll get some understanding you need here.

I can totally understand using alcohol to cope. My severe depression started when I was 11/12, and I started drinking almost immediately after - I needed something to fill that void and to numb the pain a little.

((Hugs))

LadyMorticia

Fg - I'm surviving as best I can, but I'm having an argument with Karl at the moment. He is belittling myself and my mental health and making out like I'm stupid and a doormat and I will not let anyone treat me like that. Just a couple of weeks ago I would have been passive and not stood up for myself but now I have come too far to let anyone treat me in such a manner, whether they were once a friend or not. He asked if I have forgiven him. When will he learn it's not about forgiving him, it's about trusting him and I don't. He betrayed my trust and trust is very important to me. How are you feeling hun?

Tulip - :wave: Hello hun. How are you feeling today? *hugs*

xx

LadyMorticia

Welcome to the thread Curled. *hugs*
I'm Anni. :wave:

feelinggood_2

LM - Good on you for standing up for yourself. Remember that you don't have to explain your actions - if someone is bad for you, you don't have to explain it to them if you don't want to, if you know what I mean. I'm low today, after almost 2 weeks without cutting, I just lapsed Staying with family this weekend, so it means long sleaves, want to try and hide it. Husband said a while ago that he'd leave if I cut again, so got to hide it from him too.

LadyMorticia

Fg hun - I'm sorry you're feeling low. I know what it feels like to lapse. It's horrible. I really don't think it's fair that your husband said he would leave you if you cut again as it is a coping mechanism and I'm sure him saying that makes you feel worse. That's just my opinion though. I hope you feel better soon and that you have fun with your family.
Do they know about your sh?

I've made it very clear to Karl about my boundaries etc but he just loves to keep on breaking through them but not anymore. My boundaries are there for a reason.

xx

feelinggood_2

My family know I SH'ed in the past, and I did mention to my Brother and my Mum that I'd had a small lapse recently. I think they assumed it was the same as last time - very superficial, and not worth worrying about. Its worse this time, although still not very serious. Some cuts could probably have done with stitches, but all healed well on thier own.

LadyMorticia

It's always hard around family, I find. My family don't really care and I don't see them which is why I find it easier, I guess. I can imagine that it must be hard trying to hide the cuts and scar from them. Even though they know you've lapsed, it must be hard not wanting them to see your arms and trying to cover it up constantly, especially during the hot weather.
I hope it isn't too stressful for you hun. *hugs*

Diamond78

Hi There,
Havent been on here for ages now. I havent been well since I last posted. Things have been realy hard and tough. Even though I was still at my lowwest a few months ago, I still use to manage and post on here but havent been up to chatting at all last few weeks. My laptop broke and could not be fixed, so I had to wait a while and I used my flight money to get a new laptop, the cheapest one I could get.Ive nt managed to read any of the posts either so I dont know how everyone is. I just want you to al know that I have been thinking of you all, every single day.
Im still not my usual self and not up to things but have no choice to carry on.
I just feel Im no use at the mo, I cant even try and give advice to someone that is having a bad day as everyday is a bad day for me.
Feelinggood, hope ur ok hunni. Sending u hugs.
Got to go now but will be on tonight.
HUGS to evryone and welcome to all the new comers.
x

LadyMorticia

Hello Diamond hun. I was thinking about you last night.

Sorry you haven't been feeling good. *hugs*

xx

feelinggood_2

((Hugs)) for diamond.