Alleged push of a child by a parent, what to do?

Gingham_Ribbon

It was birthday money, so easy to see how it could have gone missing without her noticing.

I would be making it clear to the head that I would press charges if she so much as touched my son again and if it happened on school premises I would be taking that further too. And that she's lucky you're not contacting the police as it is. A parent had to be banned from one school I worked in for a similar incident.

Next, I'd make sure she knew (whether through the head or directly) that she would not be getting the money back until the game was replaced.

It's very difficult. From recent experience I should warn you not to expect her to be reasonable but that it is ESSENTIAL to maintain a dignified, respectful stance at all times. If she wants to be a child, it's really important that one of you is a grown-up for the sake of both children. It sounds like that's exactly what you're doing. Good luck.

Poppy9

I am amazed that she thinks she should get back her son's money if he lost the game.

Why did she involve the school, was it because they lost the game in school time?

To add to what other posters have said I would also ask the school to consider banning games consoles/games on school premises as they are expensive items that are vunerable to theft.

CB1979_2

don't forget keys in between knuckles for a cheap knuckle duster (see very MSE there!).

seriously get the first dig in, then walk away when she's crumpled on the deck, that'll teach her.

something_girl

I think games consoles and games are banned from my kids schools, I remember when they banned pokemon cards when my eldest was at primary, kids were getting into serious scraps about them!

minimoneysaver

I am a teacher in a primary school. My first question has to be, how did this mother get into the school unsupervised? The only adults in our school are the ones who work there or who are volunteering in a class, which means they are supervised by a teacher.
I would suggest that you are doing your son wrong by giving her the money back and not dealing with the situation.
Can I suggest that you get the school involved with this? I would expect that they will want to find out how this could have happened on their premises. They have a duty of care for the children. You should find out what their policy is on having parents being in the school. You also need to enquire why she was alone with your son.
Good luck. I am sure that you have been very worried about this issue, but the school will want to resolve it as quickly as you do.

shellsuit

Don't give the money back until you get a replacement for the game!

Scarlett1

mspig if you hand over the money you are then making yourself a victim to this bully aswell, its up to you what you do but think that you should get a replacement game from her before handing over any money, £20 wont get a new game unless its outdated, seems like the boy has better morals from his mother :rolleyes:

poet123

I would go back into school and see the Head again. Tell him you have been considering the situation carefully and before you reach a final decision on how to proceed with this issue you want answers to the following questions.

1. Why was this parent in a position to confront your child without a teacher or other adult present?

2. That being the case does he have any reason to suppose your chid is lying?(i.e other instances where your child may not have been truthful)

3. Why does he think that the money should be returned when the game is still missing,and was lost by the other child, and cost in excess of the money involved?

4. Remind him that as a school they have a duty of care to your child,not to the mother involved.

When you have listened carefully and calmly to the Head,and depending on his answers,thank him for seeing you and tell him you will consider your position,but that your instinct is to take the following action.

.1. Write to the Governing body asking for an assurance your child will be better protected from any future incidents,and citing the anti bullying policy, which is still applicable even though it was a parent involved.

2. Await an apology from the parent concerned
.
3. Await a replacement game before returning the money.

4. Consider involving the Police if no action is forthcoming.

That should concentrate his mind wonderfully,and ensure fair consideration is given to you. Be polite,calm and firm and do not raise your voice etc. He needs to see you mean business.

Before embarking on this course of action I would grill my son thoroughly to ensure no detail has been left out, or embellished, and impress upon him the consequences if he fails to reveal all at this stage.

Good luck!!

CarolynH

What poet said, and in poet's order! Be calm and rational but stand your ground. Neither you nor your son have done anything wrong here.

Paparika

mspig wrote: »

I had a sit down meeting with the head teacher who told me that he actually knew nothing about the incident as his secretary hadn't informed him and took it upon herself to get involved.

He also said he had spoken to the boys mother about the incident and she said that she never pushed my son and that she was having sleepless nights about the whole thing(aw poor woman).

He said he would like to bring the matter to a close as there was no witnesses to the incident and that if we give back the money he will make sure that this matter is ended.

Gets me how a head can sound so one sided, i also questioned a few of the things that he said the mother had told me which differed from what the secretary had said the mother told her, he told me to forget what the secretary had said as she had just put oil on the fire and may of cause more harm than good to the situation.

So i feel like i'm still stuck as its clear the head is all for this mother.

Refuse to give the money back, its so that your son can replace the game his friend lost.

makes it fair and square and they sorted it out themselves.