Alleged push of a child by a parent, what to do?

mspig

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CarolynH

Why is this lady approching your son, and not you? Sounds like she knows she can bully an 11 year old much more easily than she can bully you.

The boys had an issue - and the boys sorted it out. If she was unhappy, she should have come to you, not your son.

I'd hold off handing over the money for now and ask for a face to face meeting with the mother. You can then discuss the money and the push.

shellsuit

CarolynH wrote: »

Why is this lady approching your son, and not you? Sounds like she knows she can bully an 11 year old much more easily than she can bully you.

The boys had an issue - and the boys sorted it out. If she was unhappy, she should have come to you, not your son.

I'd hold off handing over the money for now and ask for a face to face meeting with the mother. You can then discuss the money and the push.

Agree totally with Carolyn!

If she has a problem, she should come to you and I certainly wouldn't hand over any money until I ask her just what the hell she thinks she is playing at.

DigitalJedi

I'd ask to meet with her face to face. Sounds like she's a bit of a bully. After all, her son lost the game. Surely she should also be paying for that.

The pushing thing. Did your son think he was in trouble? Could this be something he's made up because he thought he was in trouble?

At least meeting with this woman face to face would:

a) Let you know the sort of woman you are dealing with and if she is the type to bully an 11yr old

b) Let her know you are not a pushover.

Cornishpixie_2

Sorry to hear about the incident at school with your son. The mother who pushed him, sounds like a real bully. Who takes matters into their own hands with a primary school child I guess since unfortunately its her word against your son you would have to let it drop. I guess you could say on giving the school the money, that though it is her word against your sons re the pushing, you believe your son and although your not happy about it you wont take it any further. It reinforces to the school that she was out of order, and they will be looking out for any potiential further incidents with this woman. I would also give this woman a wide berth. Only thing you can do is to know you are in the right and she will get some kind of comeuppence.:)

Shineyhappy

I agree with the others, I would not give her any money until she appologises for bullying your child and also supplies a replacement game.

Mips

Be dutiful to your Son and take this further.

Not only has he lost a game which he has not had replaced, he has been pushed by the Mother and you have had to give the money back

Who has suffered here?

Stick to your guns and take this further.

bestpud

Why on earth are you even considering giving her the money for a game her son lost???

She had no right to involve the school and the school should have refused to get involved! Why did they?

They have reason to deal with the pushing incident but not the game - that is between you and the other mother, and/or your sons.

Tell her you will refund the £20 if she replaces the game first - that gives her a chance to get one cheaper.

Then sit your son down and use this to illustrate how transactions between school friends can go horribly wrong and it is better to invole an adult from the outset.

miss_pink

This lady sounds like a major pain in the butt. Don't give her anything. It sounds like the boys are more mature that her and sorted it out themselves. Don't know why she got involved? Surely she should be proud of the fact her son was well mannered enough to pay for the game he lost? I bet the boys are still friends?! Don't give her anything, you and you son are in the right. I would however, question her regarding pushing your son.

Good Luck xxx

CB1979_2

tell her thanks for the generous offer of paying then forgetting about it, however once you get the game, you'll take the £20 as compensation.

obviously with no witnesses, nothing you can do about the "pushing".

oh and if it looks like the meeting is taking a turn for the worse, always make sure you get the first punch in!

melancholly

whether or not she pushed him kind of seems beside the point. she's a grown adult and decided not to include you about this. that's appalling. and if you give the money back she 'will forget the incident'?! the one where her son lost someone else's property and she taught him not to pay up or be responsible, but instead to bully someone?! incredible!

EDIT - i don't mean that the pushing him wasn't dreadful, just difficult to prove and as the rest of her behaviour has also been so poor, you can focus on that instead.