Christmas - bah, humbug!

Eager_Elephant

Instead of buying presents for everyone - how about buying a gift for someone in a Third World country.

This website:http://www.greatgifts.org/(awtf22450jmodt551geux355)/GiftSelection/home.aspx

has gifts from £5.00 up to £5000.

I'm sure I've heard of others but can't remember them at the moment.

I have not actually used these websites but know people that have.

What could be better, no wasted presents and helping charity at the same time.

HTH

EE

fluffymuffin

oxfam do these charity gifts - everything from a chair and desk for a school, a bucket for water and building materials to build houses - they're great.

We always ahve this thing at christmas where we don't know what to buy - my dad is particularly hard I find!

We ahve started doing lists of presents starting from little things - for a coule of quid up to big pressies. We email these around and people decide what they are going to buy or chip in togethte rht get a big pressie between them. It works quite well but your family have to be quite tight knit. Also means that even if you get something very small it still something you want which is nice.

Bit like a wedding list really. Christmas for me is always the which parents will you be at battle - urgh - hasn't some up yet this year but I can feel it approaching and can barely wait!

tightgit_2

My family (very large) decided years ago that it was better not to buy for anyone except our parents (who are now deceased) and our own children. That way it is much easier and you have more money to spend on your children thus being able to get them more and what they really want.

hatsepsovet

My OH's family si quite big; he has 4 brothers, all married, 3 of them with kids (7 alltogether) and of course the inlaws. Before the kids came along everyone used to get a present; however, when the kids started coming along, we all decided, it was far too expensive to buy presents for everyone and now we only buy for kids. Even then we end up spending about £200 each X-mas. Don't know how we'll manage this year, but everyone is always so generous to my daughter, that I feel we can't buy cheapie presents.

margaretclare

mariauk wrote:

Hi

I finally gave up "doing xmas" 2 years ago. I am not religious, am a single parent who has always supported my 2 children without any help from anyone and think that getting into debt for something I dont believe in is a crazy way to live your life! I save what money I can and try and take my children away to experience different countries/cultures and to generally open their eyes to life outside South London as much as I possibly can as well as making their birthdays extra special as Its more personal and is the day I think should be celebrated and is for "presents" I cant understand why anyone spends so much at xmas that they spend the next 6 months paying it off,only to start the cycle again 5 months later. I am not in debt and will only buy if I have the money, why should I be "forced" into xmas by what is now a retailers delight and a familys misery because "society" says I should. I would rather my children spend 4 days in Paris for example instead of buying "presents" for them that will probably end up in a box under the bed or not used just because you feel you "have" to buy at xmas. I still buy them cards to send their friends at school etc but have told all my friends we dont do xmas anymore. My kids do not go without at anytime through the year, So why should i get in debt just for xmas? :rolleyes:

I totally agree. The compulsion everyone seems to feel, as you describe so well, to go into debt just because there's a strong feeling about that presents have got to be bought for all and sundry, has little or nothing to do with whether you're religious or not.

It so happens that I am religious, in that I'm a churchgoer, a church member, and so is my husband. If there was anything religious in this orgy of present-buying and present-giving it would have nothing to do with buying unwanted presents for those who have more than enough already - as you say, to end up in a box under the bed. It would have much more to do with giving what you can to those who need it more than you do, and it doesn't have to be money or material gifts, it can be giving of your time, your company, a whole lot of things like that.

Aunty Margaret

Kantankrus_Mare

Im pleased its not jst me that feels this way!!

Xmas can be a lovely family time but is so often marred by the stress of feeling you have to spend X amount of money on each family member.

Last year we stipulated that the adults would only spend £10 per person on each other adult and to buy something amusing or something the person had particularly asked for. It worked well but dont know what the plans are for this year.

I get sick to death of getting smellies that I wont use as people arent sure what to get me. Id rather not be "surprised" but get something I need or will get some use out of.

My two nieces are 4 and 5 and xmas should be a magical time but they have everything kids could wish for. You just feel that you are duplicating gifts for the sake of it.

I also think that shops should not be allowed to display xmas stuff till mid november at the earliest. People get stressed thinking they should have this or they should have that when its all so materialistic!!

i turn off to it as much as possible but I save 11 pounds a week through the year so that when I DO get round to doing my shopping in my own time, the money is there and I wont go into debt for it.

Its all so far over rated and I feel so humbug having a moan about it but feel we are all being pressured by manufacturers and shops to spend spend spend.

people and family matter, not how much STUFF you get at Xmas which is but one day a year!

jaybee

My OH has a large family and we decided a few years ago to only get presents for the children (now grandchildren as well). Before this it all got horribly out of hand and, as I was always the one who did the shopping, my finaces got horrible out of hand as well. Thanks to this site and everyone's help on here I have got it sorted now and can cope with it - not without the occasional moan though!!

leftieM

Thanks for all of your stories and suggestions. My husband has turned out to be against the idea of changing the way things are done in his family, which I must accept. However, we have come to an agreement about budgets and types of presents.
I'll work on him again next year though!

FairyElephant_2

My O/H has a big family (3 brothers & 2 sisters, and his parents) and they do 'secret santa' for the adults - each person has to write a list of presents they want and we draw names out of the hat. Spending limit was £50, but went up to £60 last year. It seems to work really well.
There are 7 kids in the family (3 belong to O/H!), and everyone buys for them, which means they get loads of stuff. Last year we asked the aunties & uncles to club together with us and we got them a PS2, games, Eye-toy, etc etc. They thought this was the best present ever, and the aunties & uncles had hassle-free shopping....problem is we can't think of another 'big' present to get them between us this year!

mariauk

Kantankrus_Mare wrote:

Im pleased its not jst me that feels this way!!

Xmas can be a lovely family time but is so often marred by the stress of feeling you have to spend X amount of money on each family member.

Last year we stipulated that the adults would only spend £10 per person on each other adult and to buy something amusing or something the person had particularly asked for. It worked well but dont know what the plans are for this year.

I get sick to death of getting smellies that I wont use as people arent sure what to get me. Id rather not be "surprised" but get something I need or will get some use out of.

My two nieces are 4 and 5 and xmas should be a magical time but they have everything kids could wish for. You just feel that you are duplicating gifts for the sake of it.

I also think that shops should not be allowed to display xmas stuff till mid november at the earliest. People get stressed thinking they should have this or they should have that when its all so materialistic!!

i turn off to it as much as possible but I save 11 pounds a week through the year so that when I DO get round to doing my shopping in my own time, the money is there and I wont go into debt for it.

Its all so far over rated and I feel so humbug having a moan about it but feel we are all being pressured by manufacturers and shops to spend spend spend.

people and family matter, not how much STUFF you get at Xmas which is but one day a year!

Phew, Thanks Km and aunty Margaret, I was starting to think I was the only one in the world who feels like for a minute. :rotfl: