Christmas - bah, humbug!

leftieM

I married a lovely man 4 years ago who has 2 parents, 4 sisters, 3 brothers-in-law and 9 nieces and nephews. Every year at Christmas the stress levels build for me as we end up spending hundreds on presents that aren't needed or wanted and receiving the same. I think it's all daft. We don't know enough about any of them to get them what they want. It all seems like a complete waste of time and money.
As they're not my family I can't really dictate how things should be, but I was thinking of suggesting that we buy for the children only. My husband previously suggested doing the thing where we buy one big present for one adult but there wasn't much interest.
What do other people do? has anyone suggested scaling down Xmas present buying and how was it received?

Nile

We were struggling to know what to buy the adults at birthday and Christmas times. When we broached the subject, they told us they felt the same about buying for us.:cool:


The pressure is off us now because we just buy for nephews and nieces........and we ring their parents for tips on what they'd like.

elona

If you did a sort of secret santa for each child - £5 each from 10 adults would be £50 - enough for a really good present.

rchddap1

My OH has 5 siblings (3 with partners) and 11 or 12 neices and nephews. Xmas as a result is a nightmare for him. If we were to buy for everyone we would first need to win the lottery. As that isn't going to happen he buys depending on his funds, but this is generally how it goes.

Rule 1: Forget the 'parents'
Rule 2: Don't spend more than £5 on each child
Rule 3: If finance very tight get something for the whole family.

Even following these rules it tots up rather quickly.

OH and I keep our finances seperate. As a result he buy's for his family and i buy for mine. No-one has ever complained, and in fact in my family its pretty much tradition to buy for the children within families and not the parents.

StartingAgainKayla70

Hi

I only buy the kids crimbo pressies oh and lets not forget my other half

mariauk

Hi

I finally gave up "doing xmas" 2 years ago. I am not religious, am a single parent who has always supported my 2 children without any help from anyone and think that getting into debt for something I dont believe in is a crazy way to live your life! I save what money I can and try and take my children away to experience different countries/cultures and to generally open their eyes to life outside South London as much as I possibly can as well as making their birthdays extra special as Its more personal and is the day I think should be celebrated and is for "presents" I cant understand why anyone spends so much at xmas that they spend the next 6 months paying it off,only to start the cycle again 5 months later. I am not in debt and will only buy if I have the money, why should I be "forced" into xmas by what is now a retailers delight and a familys misery because "society" says I should. I would rather my children spend 4 days in Paris for example instead of buying "presents" for them that will probably end up in a box under the bed or not used just because you feel you "have" to buy at xmas. I still buy them cards to send their friends at school etc but have told all my friends we dont do xmas anymore. My kids do not go without at anytime through the year, So why should i get in debt just for xmas? :rolleyes:

N9eav

MY wife has 7 sisters and 4 brothers, multiply that by all the nieces and nephews..... So we generally do nothing rather than everything.


One idea our USA friends have especiially with adults, is to get together and draw names and you only have to buy one decent present for that one person. Not much cheaper, but no headache of buying 100's of gifts. Our 4 kids do the same too, and they love the secrecy of it all.

The big question is what do I get our friends 5 children for Christmas? We are visiting them in the US for Christmas.... Something very English! Maybe some ashes

Savvy_Sue

If you can afford to buy but not sure what to buy then there are sites like Good Gifts and if anyone didn't like what you chose 'for them' then that would be a good enough reason for me not to buy for them ever again! I can't remember what the other sites are or what board they were mentioned on, I'm afraid.

You might even find a family would appreciate something like this, rather than buying separately for the children. It does depend on the children, though.

rchddap1

Indeed mariauk. So may people push themselves too far over Xmas pressie buying and end up paying it off the next year. All the pressie's I buy at Xmas I truely believe will be appreciated. I am one of those people who will not buy something....just because I have to give them something. Xmas is more about spending time with family and friends than gift giving.

One thing I and many other's on these boards do is hoard things throughout the year. I've had my wrapping paper and cards for 9 months...my mum's xmas pressie (or part of it) for 9 months...gifts for OH's family for 9 months. Xmas can get expensive if you wait to sort things out in November / December. But if you try and spread it out things get much more manageable.

mariauk

rchddap1 wrote:

Indeed mariauk. So may people push themselves too far over Xmas pressie buying and end up paying it off the next year. All the pressie's I buy at Xmas I truely believe will be appreciated. I am one of those people who will not buy something....just because I have to give them something. Xmas is more about spending time with family and friends than gift giving.

One thing I and many other's on these boards do is hoard things throughout the year. I've had my wrapping paper and cards for 9 months...my mum's xmas pressie (or part of it) for 9 months...gifts for OH's family for 9 months. Xmas can get expensive if you wait to sort things out in November / December. But if you try and spread it out things get much more manageable.

Hi rchddap

Thats what I used to do, buy wrapping paper etc in January and such like to but even with "bargains" coming along throughout the year, what I am opposed to is the farce that xmas has turned into. If you celebrate it for religous purposes then thats great but a lot of parents are under pressure to "keep up with the Jones`s" and allow their children to become materialistic and even worse go out of their way to buy whatever the latest doll, games console etc is in at the time. I dont believe buying your children the latest gadgets is teaching them how to budget or the basics in housekeeping and managing money. Surely teaching them that you have to wait for things and save, rather than getting in debt is a life long lesson, not just for xmas! My 2 are still longing for a playstation 2, my son who is 12 saved his Birthday money and bought himself(after researching on the internet the cheapest deal) a gamecube bundle from Amazon. He was not only chuffed he got a gamecube, he was also pleased with himself he nabbed a bargain but above all will look after it as he bought it and it wasn`t handed to him on a plate. I know there are a lot of sensible people out there who dont let xmas get them down/depressed and in debt. Its just a shame that it gets so many people in a state and its only one day out of the year!

skylight

I shop in this order (And save / Sell on Ebay to fund it)
1. My Kids
2. Hubby
3. Parents (Inc In-laws)
4. Best Friends (only mine)
5. Children of our siblings
6. Our siblings and grandparents of our kids- but pressies addressed to aunts/uncles from our kids and not us
7. My grandparents
8. Friends of our children (like their school mates), although technically they are supposed to save this themselves!

Its rare we get enough money to get to point 7!! And we buy stuff four our siblings (okay adults now) cos they buy stuff for our kids and we have 4 of them, so I think its fair.
But if we don't have the money then thats it - we stop.

I think OP that you should phone them all up and tell them that you will only be buying for the kids this year, is that okay and what would they like??? I doubt they would be rude enough to be upset over not getting a present!