How Cheap can a Funeral Be !

dreamyd

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. We're all thinking of you. To echo what other people have said, do as much as you feel you can. When someone asks if they can do anything, give them a job.

Take care of yourself and your family.
Dd x

[Deleted User]

Sorry to hear of your loss,at my late husbands funeral we had the wake at my DDs house and everyone who knew him turned up to pay their respects.Any help that is offered do take, as folk do truly want to help at a time like this .
Simple plates of sanwiches ect can be done in advance and a lot of folk will happily do them as its their way of helping the bereaved .Take time yourself to grieve and remember your happier times.Your Mum would be proud of your sensible attitude I think.I decided that I only wanted one wreath at my husbands funeral and everyone else donated to a fund that one of my DDs set up in their dads memory. We sent all the money to our local 'Friends of the Hospital' as the hospital were so kind when he was so ill and did their best for him I didn't like to think of flowers just being wasted sat at the crematorium after we had gone and the money was spent in a far more useful way.We collected just over £1100 for them and my DD s and I had only one wreath with his name on, and we were happy with that.He was a great one for charity during his life and I know he would have thought it fitting that money went where it was used better.Plus there is nothing more sadder than to see piles of flowers afterwards.
God Bless you dear and I hope the coming weeks will help you to grieve in peace .Your Mum is no longer in pain anymore so remember the good times and be at peace with yourself
JackieO xx

Kimitatsu

Hi Trinny

You have had some great advice here - my mother in law lost her battle 10 days ago too so you have my heartfelt condolences.

OS sounds great (especially as a relatively "simple" funeral is costing us just shy of £4000 :eek:) but like I would suggest keeping it very simple. Sarnies, cupcakes, victoria sponge things that you can do almost with your eyes closed so that it keeps you busy. Flowers are always a difficult one, we have opted for three arrangements and then donations to the hospital which treated her as it seems silly to be overfaced with flowers which she will never see. Spring flowers are a great idea, have you thought about contacting the local college to see if there is a flower arranging course? There may be a student on there who would welcome the opportunity to do something they could put in their portfolio.

Above all give yourself the time and the facility to grieve, its all too easy to become so involved in the arrangements that you forget that you are the person that needs time to be able to just sit and weep if you need to or just to be able to remember your mum as she would have wanted.

Take care

x

lowesy

No advice, just wanted to send my condolences. So sorry for your loss xx

Butterfly_Brain

Trinny
Sorry for your loss (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Funerals are horrendously expensive - It is bad enough losing a parent/loved one then to have to worry about the cost is a nightmare too.

I echo what a lot of people have said. Have a small gathering with a few plates of sanwiches and plenty of cups of tea - if anyone offers to help take it gladly.
My local greengrocer does bouquets of flowers and they are really reasonably priced.

Trinny

Hello All

I am overwhelmed at all the kind wishes, from many folk i dont know personally. I really appreciate all the ideas, so many are exactly the kind that Mum would approve of. Its a case of doing what we can to make sure she is remembered for how she lived.

you are all very much appreciated

Trin

Bitsy_Beans

Hi Trinny.
Sorry for the loss of your mum hugs
I think from the suggestions you can give your mum the OS send off she'd love
I personally want a cardboard coffin since I want to be cremated. Seems like a awful waste of good wood otherwise
You can bake victoria sponge cakes in advance and then freeze - take them out the day before and then just put jam and cream inbetween if you want a little bit more luxury for her wake.
Lots of ideas on finger food on OS board so I hope you can find what you want.

Thinking of you and your family xx

debtdesperado

Sorry to hear about your Mum.

A neighbour of mine wanted as cheap a funeral as possible, and he didn't want his wife to waste money on hiring funeral cars and a hearse - he always said that he wanted to go in his old van (he'd had it for about 30 years). It turned out that the local crematorium had a 'rule' that only hearses and those big black mercs could pull up in front of it - the crem itself was in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by woods, so no one could see (and I don't think that it would that offensive anyway?). The only reason seemed to be that people would then have no choice but to spend a lot of money hiring all the cars, which seemed absolutely disgraceful - and such a waste of money.

However, half an hour away in the next county, the crematorium there was happy for any type of vehicle to pull up in front of it, so he was cremated there, and his wife saved hundreds of pounds, which would have made him much happier!

So what I would say is don't take the first answer anyone connected with the funeral industry gives you as gospel, particularly when the outcome will be that you 'must' spend money.

jexygirl

Hi Trinny,
my thoughts go out to you and your family at such a sad time.

When I lost my dad, he had insisted that "I dont want a headstone, and dont go planting any trees, I dont want somewhere that you can all go and be maudlin at!" he died suddenly at 48 years old, but it was at least one thing we already knew! He also like many here have said, didnt want flowers, give the money to someone instead was his attitude.
She may have mentioned some things to people, so have a chat to her close friends and your family as well. I know you see yourself as in charge, but You dont need to take all the burden, friends will be willing to help you. You have to look after your needs as well as feeling responsible for others too. Your mum I am sure would be very very proud of you however you decide to send her off
Hugs
Jex

bakerp

McKneff wrote: »

aahh, sorry you have lost your mum, Ive never lost a husband or child but i can honestly say that the worst experienc in my life was losing my mum.

A little piece of me went with her and i have never got it back.
Bless you and your family.

so so sorry for your loss same here my mum died 2 yrs ago i will never be the same person again,mums are so so special.My thoughts are with you god bless.