How Cheap can a Funeral Be !

sueeve

I believe that Myfanwy is the tune to which 'Land of my Fathers' is sung. I don't know other words sung to that tune

sonjaday

Thank you so much to all who answered my query regarding old Catholic Hymn Books.

I'm sure the Priest I'll be seeing tomorrow will be able to help me, but I was hoping for a head start.

I'm humbled, as always by peoples heartfelt thoughts and prayers.

Thank you, once again.

Sonjaday

inkie

Sonjaday

Sorry to hear of your loss. Do not worry about the information you need - the parish priest will be able to sort and source what is needed. I'm a minister too and we are very resourceful, especially when it comes to requests for what's to be included in funeral services.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Inkie

cattkitt

I considered a cardboard coffin, but surprisingly, it was about as cheap to get the cheapest normal coffin!

[Deleted User]

My two daughter know exactly what I want when I toddle off.I want a proper burial and a hearse with horses.As they will get the residue of my estate plus half my house each I know there is enough to have what want .I don't want flowers as I would rather see them when I was alive .My OH's ashes will go in with me, as my youngest DD has them at the moment .If we had buried them in the local church graveyard then they would have been on one side and I would have been on another .We were together for almost 40 years so I think I will be happy to be with him after I've popped my clogs.I have told them that I would like them to go to the pub and raise a glass to the pair of us and that would be sufficient I am hoping that I will outlive most of my friends(not being nasty,) as I want to live to a 100 at least so apart from my descendants there shouldn't be too many in the pub.:)A great many people don't like to talk about their passing as though they will be immortal ,but its going to come to us all.
My OH wanted cremation,which he had, and only one wreath which he had, as we collected the rest from donations and gave it to the local hospital who had fought so hard to save his life.Better than wreaths that just withered away. and I have always wanted burial.Its just personal preferance I think.We had a wake for him at my DDs house and one of our friends said to me 'Alan would have loved this as he loved a party' and I said 'Well he is the guest of honour today, so he's not far away as he is in all our thoughts'
Families treat death in differant ways I suppose .One of Alan's cousins was a funeral director, yet he said he couldn't speak at the funeral as Alan was too close to him ,like an older brother, and he would have got too upset.Yet someone else who knew him gave a lovely eulogy which made people smile as he remembered what he liked about him and what was important to him when he was alive ,including his beloved football team that he had supported for 35 years.That team incidentally sent by courier, a large flag from the club which was draped over his coffin, and one of my DGS has it still pinned up on the wall of his bedroom
We gave him a send off he would have liked I think, and although a sad occasion people remember it to this day after seven years as a thing they were happy to be at to pay their respects to someone they really liked.
To not quibble about spending 10k plus at a wedding yet count the cost of the last way you can say goodbye to a loved one I find a bit odd. I didn't get on terribly well with my own father but he was my father and as such I did give him the respect due to him

nicola1303

I have recently lost my Dad and to cut a very long story short myself and my brother ( and our OH's ) have had to pay for his funeral.
He was cremated ( his wishes ) and we had a catholic mass ( we are a catholic family ) and after we went for a meal as without going into too much detail ' drink ' is why my dad is where he is now, so a wake didn't seem appropriate.

The total bill came to £2,398.00

He had a lovely service by our priest and a good ' send off '.

Me and OH are looking into funeral plans as we don't want our children footing the bill if, god forbid anything happened to us suddenly.

Rossy2692

Petal wrote: »

My Dad's is gonna be cheap. He's told me "cardboard coffin, cremation, no service, no flowers.....no nothing"

Bless!

Sounds like my Dad, his exact words to me!

margaretclare

lindadykes wrote: »

My condolences to those who have lost loved ones.

My father died Christmas Day three years ago and although he had pre paid for his funeral there were a few things that did and didn't go right. My main advice is to consider the needs of yourself and the other bereaved and if necessary be very vocal that your wishes are carried through. We are not a religious family and my mum asked the funeral director to arrange a non religious officiant - his answer was to get a "methodist" minister. Don't get me wrong the man was lovely but he spouted off about how my dad was now with god etc, which for my family was meaningless. The good thing was that as soon as I knew my dad had died I was adamant that his whole funeral would not be conducted by someone who had never met him and I insisted on making a speech at the funeral. The methodist minister tried to impose a time limit on this but once I had written and practised what I wanted to say it was over what he wanted and I insisted that he had to alter what he wanted to say rather than restrict what I wanted to say.

Also my mum had wanted just a simple spray of hand tied lillies on the coffin - she ordered these but when we got to the crem the funeral director placed a much more elaborate wreath from my dad's brother on top of the coffin - at this point in the procedings my mum didn't want to make a fuss but it upset her a lot - so try and make sure that any funeral directors fully understand the families wishes. - Many people at the funeral thought I was very brave for standing up in front of everyone and talking about my dad - but for me it was what I had to do - follow your heart - do what you need to do.

No pressure on me however - but my mum was so pleased that I had added the personal touch that she has said she doesn't want some faceless minister that she doesn't know at her funeral and just wants me to conduct the proceedings - I hope when the time comes I can do that, it won't be easy, but will be an honour.

Linda, I'm afraid that you and your Mum were completely misinformed. You asked for a non-religious officiant - there are such people and they can be contacted through the National Humanist Society.

I am a member of the Methodist Church and I take great exception to the suggestion that we are 'non-religious'. The Methodist Church is part of the wider Christian Church and it would have been strange indeed if any Methodist minister had avoided mention of God altogether.

I've been to funerals where a minister had to conduct a service over someone he/she had not met and had no knowledge of and I agree, these are horrible. The minister has an impossible task!

Nowadays it is quite usual for family members or friends to speak. I have done it, and it seemed as if it was the last thing I could do for the deceased. The minister at my daughter's funeral was very supportive. The problem with having unlimited time to speak is that there are very limited time-slots at a crematorium and another funeral party queuing up outside the doors. I have been to too many cremations - now, no more. I refuse to attend another one. This is where we went yesterday and this idea is what commends itself to DH and me. It's too far from where we live, but is an absolutely lovely place. There's a Meeting Hall which can be used for any purpose - a service of any kind or simply a get-together. http://www.funeralservicesguide.com/Adverts_pics/Image_2928_1.jpg

irishwexford

When we buired my MIL my american sister in law was surprised that we were providing food. Over there all the mourners and neighbours turn up with food which must be a godsend for a widow/widower with no family to help them out.

kayjay1809

My mum died a couple of years ago and we chose the cheapest wooden coffin as it was the plainest, most like 'teak' , that they did and the sort of wood my mum preferred. I was amazed to be shown cardboard coffins which were of the same cost as wooden, so anyone who thinks cardboard is cheaper... it isn't. The funeral director said that the price reflected the technology that has gone into developing them, obviously they have to be water-resistant in case the funeral is on a wet day and very strong. She said that some people get grandkids to decorate them before the body is placed inside, which I thought was a lovely idea for kids to say goodbye to the grandma/dad. My sister did a powerpoint show of photos of my mum and us as we were growing up, to her favourite singer Elvis, there wasn't a dry eye anywhere and it was a lovely tribute to her life rather than dwelling on her death. My sister read a prayer and I read a poem as I'm not religious. I think the cost was somewhere around the £2K mark which my dad paid for.