How Cheap can a Funeral Be !

Sunnygirl_2

So sorry for your loss Trinny. Much love for all your family.

soappie wrote: »

Ham sandwiches, some nibbles and some home made cake with sherry and wine for a quiet wake at your/her house is all that's required. The cakes can be made the day before and the sandwiches on the morning.

Sounds like that'd be just up your mum's street from what you've said about her.

LilacPixie wrote: »

maybe rther thn forist arrrangements a simpl hand tis posy of spring flowers for your garden or a neighbours??

Again, a lovely thought...florists cost a fortune, especially when you mention its for a particular occasion, so this would save a lot too.

champys

Trinny, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Above all, don't ask too much from yourself at this moment. It is already so stressful to deal with the undertakers, the admin, speaking to friends and family, getting dates and logistics sorted out. DH and I have seen all 4 of our parents pass away in a relatively short period of time, and although I'm thoroughly OS myself and a keen cook, under these circumstances I have only been too happy to leave the catering side of things to aunties, neighbours and other helpful friends. As said before, be kind to yourself. You will find many people willing and happy to help.
Take care, and as we say here in France : bon courage!

katholicos

I am sorry for your loss, i will remember you all in my prayers.

Penelope_Penguin

Trinny - condolences to you and yours :A

There are exisitng threads to give you more ideas:

How cheap can a funeral be

Ideas for funeral tea

I'll add this to the first link later, to keep ideas together.

Penny. x

charlies-aunt

Sincere condolences for your loss - I feel for you - my parents passed away many years ago but in the garden of memories, I walk with them every day.

May I suggest you take in one of your Mums favourite outfits for her to be laid to rest in ?- its traditional and more personal than paying for a gown.

Use family members as bearers - the funeral director will be able to advise them what they need to do and apart from saving money on paying for bearers, it would be a very traditional thing to do

Talk to a small florist and see if they can do something different from the modern hothouse floral tribute - for my fathers funeral, I gathered woodland flowers and foilage - catkins, ivy, primroses, snowdrops, sprays of pine branches with tiny cones attached, ferns etc and flowers from his garden and the florist decorated a large cross with them - it looked fabulous and was very personal as my Dad loved the great outdoors - and it was significantly cheaper than the standard tributes

A substantial homemade tea - ham sandwiches, pickles, cheese, fruitcake, victoria sponge, plenty of cuppas and a drop of whiskey or something - will give your Mum a good send off and give family & friends chance to meet and celebrate her life.

Hope everything goes well - will be remembering you in my prayers - God bless x

System

my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.

jellybaby21

wicker coffins are actually more expensive than the ordinary ones. (it's been a year since i loss my grandma) I am so sorry to her your mum has passed on. Sending lots of healing vibes your way. I strongly advise you get help with prep on the day, as you never know how upset/tired/drained you'll be. Sending you lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

nearlyrich

Sorry to hear about your Mum I can honestly say that losing my Mum is the very worst thing that ever happened to me so take care of yourself and I am sure whatever you do will meet with her approval.

Gers

Hello there

My experience is the death of my Father - now 12 years away but remembered like last week (02 April) and my brother who died in August 2007/

Father was adamant about carboard coffin, no minister, no flowers or anything. I found that the crematorium costs where the same as an 'normal' one as the licence to burn cardboard exceeded the usual cost.

I would advise to do what you feel is best! My father didn't want flowers - I wanted a hand held spray! Be true to the deceased's wishes whilst making sure that you meet your own emotional needs, it's a fine balance.

My brother died in Australia and the family was held hostage to the ideas/wishes of his live in floozie who had a romatic and far removed idea of what a funeral should be - i.e. chose a church which incorporated his name but was the wrong demonination! BAD time.

Both my brother and father are now scattered in a tributary of the River Clyde, same place but 9 years apart. For a non-religous next of kin it works for me.

As for the funeral tea - perhaps the best advice is to please yourself. Do what you feel best, you're the only one who has to live with what you do. Nothing else matters.

zippychick

Ack Trinny - I was only having a quick browse, but had to log in to send my genuine heartfelt condolences. Reading this has genuinely upset me. You poor thing. I wish I knew what to say :A

It's made me think of my Grans funeral, may she rest in peace. We had a traditional (traditional for over here maybe?) service in her house. The house was packed and people were lining up the street to pay their respects . My gran taught me to bake as a kid, and always treated me like her favourite (even though she had over 20+grandchildren - I lost count :eek:). Every Sunday for years I would go to her house for dinner, and she made the best roast dinner ever. I wish I had learnt more from her while she was here. My Mum says to me now "you get more and more like your gran every day" and that's the best compliment anyone could ever give me.

The point of this is, she was OS too and she was honoured with an OS send off. Platters of home made sandwiches, cakes, fruity tea bread, buttered pancakes, and all the things she liked to eat (she taught me to eat toasted pancakes with cheese he he:o). Lots of cups of tea and juice and jam tarts for the kiddies.

I would say keep it as simple as you possibly can. Don't necessarily bake everything as you may not want to - or it may be therapeutic for you, in that case, fill your boots (simple victoria sponge with jam?) . Don't put any pressure on yourself to provide any grand banquet - sandwiches and tea is more than plenty. I'm sure people will arrive with food gifts as well (at least from my experience of funerals anyway)

Just do simple things honey, and take it easy on yourself. It's going to be a hard couple of days. I wish i could say or do more to help you. Take care of yourself lady

Laura xxx