Feel so bad

pinkrach001

Pukkamum..... WHOOP WHOOP!!!! well done you!!! yey!! go girl!!! lol
and my goodness, dress up sounds cool..... can just see the look on their faces lol Im getting my sky high heels out now..... mind you, the funny looks may be because I look like a constipated pigeon when I walk in them..... !!!!!!!?????!!!! hehehe
xxx

Diamond78

MidLifeCrisis wrote: »

Good luck hun hope it all turns out well and you can finally put the past behind you and make a fresh start for you and your little lad.

Thanks hun. I know in time things will get easier and better and I will be stronger, if not for me then for my son.

Kzlnd

pukkamum wrote: »

hi everybody thank you so much for your concern and words of encouragement, it went ok at school this morn she was stood with the other mums so i just walked up and gave everyone a big smile and a hello, at first she wouldn't look at me, she clearly knew she had upset me ( i suspect my friend may have said something to her) i made a huge effort to be especially nice to her asking her about her plans for the half term. i thought sod it i am going to show you that i am a nice person and there was no justification for your behaviour.
I also think it was a good thing (in a weird kind of way) because today at the toddler group i made an affort to talk to mums who were by themselves and even have a play date next week!!!! It was nerve wracking but i am so glad i did it!!!!!You know what they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!!

I've only just seen this thread, Pukkamum! good on you :T

Wow. I shouldn't even be thinking about all this, my little man is only 8mths old! but as silly as it seems, this is something I already dread :rolleyes:

Diamond78, I am shocked and disgusted at the other mums behaviour I hope the tea party for everyone goes really well x

absolutebounder

Diamond78 wrote: »

Thanks hun. I know in time things will get easier and better and I will be stronger, if not for me then for my son.

Diamond. you have to do it for yourself. You are your sons role model and if you dont do it for yourself you are unlikely to send your son the right message. He is at an age where he is very impressionable and will easily pick up your characteristics, some of which will be good but also if you are not strong in yourself he will pick up the bad ones. This may result in insecurity at school. Everyone wants to to the best for their children but people can still behave like animals and what you described about the other mums is animal herd behaviour which will fast be rubbing off on their kids. :eek:
You dont have to be part of that pack but it is good to be aware of how it works. As I said earlier smile, say hi etc and even make conversation just be aware it is probably false and they will say things behind your back but just ignore that as they are not your true friends so have no importance to you.

bestpud

It's awful that so many people are dreading the school run every day!

I've been there myself and it's terrible. DD1 used to be excluded from parties and it felt like they were tearing me in half when they publicly handed out the invites!

Now dd2 is not excluded, but I definitely am (by the 'in-crowd' anyway)! There are four parents (small school so quarter of the class) who will actually avoid eye contact, even if I say hello - they just stare straight ahead as though I'm not there!! I'm happy to say their children are better mannered though (for now at least!)

Anyway, another mum (one of the ones I get on with) mentioned a night out had been arranged and a few of us had not been asked, and she went on to ask for my opinion on it.

I admitted I had left the school in tears a few times after being deliberately excluded (closing the 'gossip circle' as I approached or just turning away - that sort of thing), but that I am not worried about them excluding me from social events.

The great relief was the other parents agreed with me, although they were shocked I'd been that upset about it. It felt so good to know it isn't just me though!!!

The daft thing is I am glad they don't invite me out any more as I find large groups intimidating and I'm not comfortable around drunk people (and they get very drunk!), but I don't understand why they won't even say hello to me unless they have to. I can honestly say I've done nothing to them, except not go to their get-togethers. I've always been friendly otherwise and made an effort to speak etc.

Now, I think it says so much more about them than me.

I am very quiet and take time to warm to people; I am definitely better in one to one conversations, or small groups. And if they are going to snub me in the playground simply because I don't want to go clubbing with them, then I am just better off without them.

Essentially, I don't see it as my problem anymore and I feel a whole lot better about the school run since I came to that conclusion!

It is mad though isn't it? What makes people so darn rude??? :mad: Feels like they have never grown up to me, and being in a school playground brings out their worst 'childish' behaviours.

Best wishes to everyone else going through this problem - hold you heads up and don't let the bar stewards grind you down, I say!

Sarahjovi

I had a similar situation with a couple of mums at the local toddler group. They talked to me until they found out I lived in an Ex Council house. I didn't know why until another mum told me and was absolutly amazed at their shallowness. I chose to rise above thier nastyness and I ended up running the toddler group for four years. The nasty mums still came to the group, but I chatted to everyone who came and made some very good friends.

Leave the nasty ones to there own, and make friends with the nicer people.

Sarah

cazac71

pukkamum wrote: »

hi everybody thank you so much for your concern and words of encouragement, it went ok at school this morn she was stood with the other mums so i just walked up and gave everyone a big smile and a hello, at first she wouldn't look at me, she clearly knew she had upset me ( i suspect my friend may have said something to her) i made a huge effort to be especially nice to her asking her about her plans for the half term. i thought sod it i am going to show you that i am a nice person and there was no justification for your behaviour.
I also think it was a good thing (in a weird kind of way) because today at the toddler group i made an affort to talk to mums who were by themselves and even have a play date next week!!!! It was nerve wracking but i am so glad i did it!!!!!You know what they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!!

Good for you darl!!!:beer:

Nitha

That's such a shame. It's difficult enough as it is to meet other mums as so many work now, why would someone isolate another like that?

Some women can be funny unfortunately. I know my husband's ex has lots of problems with her son's friends parents because she is a young mum. I would be upset too (I get upset alot!). The other women won't pity you - they will probably pity her for being so small minded!

absolutebounder

Another game you can try which worked for me when I used to pick my daughter up from junior school. i got a little fed up with one or two mums who would only talk to me if their friends hadnt turned up. i got a group of my friends over for the afternoon and took them to collect daughter and stood in a little circle all talking quietly but looking at the other mums now and again.

shays_mum

Hi pukka mum
You have nothing to feel bad about, they are being petty that's all.....on the other hand give them the benefit of doubt that they genuinely thought you were going shopping & did'nt ask because of that.
I have been in similar circumstances for most of this year, because i don't live locally to the school. People talk infront of you as though your deaf , but i have tried to desensitise myself to it by hanging out with other mums closer to me, who are clearly not part of the 'group'!, so far so good......
Ignore it, we are better than that, at this age acting like school kids really!:rolleyes:
At the end of the day i am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.....
*Big hug* HTH x