Feel so bad

rls1973

pukkamum, you're not silly for having feelings, but those sort of women are totally silly themselves though, imo

look here, same sort of thing:

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/67/531088

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2403/533307

i wouldnt worry about this, i am sure it's nothing wrong with you and it's a really common problem.
as others have said, it's either jealous b1tchery or it could be simply not realising that you wanted to come with them, either way concentrate on what you think of you, not what they think of you :A



lol at roxiew 'who does she think she is' because you were wearing a nice dress, that just about sums the school playground syndrome up.

when you are at the school run this afternoon, we will be at our school runs too, lets all think positive thoughts at the same time!!:)

Paparika

RoxieW wrote: »

Hi there
I think I know how you feel and its not nice - but perhaps it was a genuine mistake and she thought you needed to go to morrisons or would be going to your sisters shortly. If it was deliberate it was a pretty mean thing to do but try to give her the benefit of the doubt - esp as you've always got on ok previously.

I get blanked by a lot of the mums from my sons reception class. My son was in private nursery (not the schools) as I worked at the time so most of them met previously, and I guess I stand out in that I'm abit more adventurous then some in my clothes (someone whispered 'who does she think she is?' the other day because I was wearing a white sundress shock horror). But if they got to know me they'd hopefully realise I was a nice person and not 'up myself' or whatever they think of me.

My younger son is in the schools nursery so I'm making an extra effort to be friendly to the mums as I dont want the same thing to happen again. It's tricky as you dont want to be too full on and come across as desperate for friends (me, not you).

I'd invite them all for a coffee one day next week - if its half term you have the excuse that the kids can play together. Or suggest meeting at a playcentre or something similar. If she declines then so be it but at least you've made the effort. If she's still funny after that, let it go. You win some, you lose some.

Good luck and chin up.

yay, fair play to you.

I wear what I want to wear, I guess you can call me a slummy mummy, I'm not skinny, my old car (just replaced) was 22 years old, the only 4x4 about it was it had 4 wheels, even now my new car is a 9 year old Toyota, and i think that its lovely,
I'd need my head examined if i wanted to be a yummy mummy :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

rls1973

hadenough wrote: »

I think you were lucky I would not want to be friends with someone who was rude to me. Actually I think you are lucky at least someone at the school gates talks to you, my son is in year 6 and I am invisible to the the other mums who have children in the same year as my son.

I am so happy he is leaving there soon, because even he gets turned down nearly everytime he asks to go round someones house or for them to come to his house. We do not know any kids where we we live (no-one plays outside where we are) so often he comes home and is lonely, he is my only child and it makes me so angry to see him being snubbed. Why don't the parents think that a child wants to play and maybe lonely. But then again they all have more than one child so their children always have someone else to play with.

Sorry about the rant but the school gates politics make me so angry.

you are right that's horrible for him. are there any local activities he could do that dont' involve school

lisaf

Hi Pukkamum,
I know exactly how you feel and I would have reacted exactly the same way (and I have done)!
When my eldest DD (16) was primary school age I had the same thing as I and only one other Mum were going straight to work after school drop-off and were always in a hurry and I think the clique there took it as being aloof (maybe).
I would park my car outside the school when DD was a bit older as she could just run in/out without me seeing the others! Funnily enough, I didn't realise until much later that the other working Mum felt exactly the same and now both our younger DD's are there, we are still very friendly.
My younger DD (4) started last September and I have to say that ALL of the Mum's in her class are lovely. I am the only English parent in the class (the others are mostly Eastern European) and although they all know each other anyway, they have made me feel really welcome and I have become particularly close to one who I have coffee with regularly.
It is now such a pleasure and difference to those years ago. I can honestly say it was the only thing I was dreading as DD2 got to school age - so I can really sympathise.
Sorry to rant on! Didn't realise it still irked me after all these years!
Lisa xx

pukkamum

hadenough wrote: »

I think you were lucky I would not want to be friends with someone who was rude to me. Actually I think you are lucky at least someone at the school gates talks to you, my son is in year 6 and I am invisible to the the other mums who have children in the same year as my son.

I am so happy he is leaving there soon, because even he gets turned down nearly everytime he asks to go round someones house or for them to come to his house. We do not know any kids where we we live (no-one plays outside where we are) so often he comes home and is lonely, he is my only child and it makes me so angry to see him being snubbed. Why don't the parents think that a child wants to play and maybe lonely. But then again they all have more than one child so their children always have someone else to play with.

Sorry about the rant but the school gates politics make me so angry.

I think that is why i am so upset as it is only now (my son is in year two!) that i have managed to make friends, i am really shy and know i don't put myself forward enough, the thing is this sort of thing is the exact kind of rejection i have always feared, it's like my worst nightmare. If i lived near you you and your son would be welcome any time x x x x

pukkamum

Can i just say how lovely it is that so many of you have given me words of support and how terrible is it that so many of us have felt this way. I am now going to try and talk to any mum i see stood by herself in the playground as there is every chance she is feeling the same.

Keeping_Motivated

I can totally see how humiliating that must have felt to you and that is either completley amiss of the woman or completely mean but the very best thing you can do, in my opinion, is rise above it by turning up with a smile on your face and being polite and being the bigger person, corny as that may sound.

I don't think you are being oversensitive I think you are showing you are a caring person who would never do that to someone so the fact someone would do that to you hurts.

Not everyone is like that woman and most people would not even want to humilate someone they weren't keen on in that way so they would be more discreet but for her to do that to you openly shows up her character not yours.

Paparika

pukkamum wrote: »

I think that is why i am so upset as it is only now (my son is in year two!) that i have managed to make friends, i am really shy and know i don't put myself forward enough, the thing is this sort of thing is the exact kind of rejection i have always feared, it's like my worst nightmare. If i lived near you you and your son would be welcome any time x x x x

noooooooo, you don't want to be a yummy mummy, come and join us as slummy mummies, you see these women what 10 mins in the morning and 10 mins in the afternoon? pfft, when you have all of us lovely people on here that actually have personalities and don't wait to see what the other says before posting, because we can all think for ourselves :j

pukkamum

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

I can totally see how humiliating that must have felt to you and that is either completley amiss of the woman or completely mean but the very best thing you can do, in my opinion, is rise above it by turning up with a smile on your face and being polite and being the bigger person, corny as that may sound.

I don't think you are being oversensitive I think you are showing you are a caring person who would never do that to someone so the fact someone would do that to you hurts.

Not everyone is like that woman and most people would not even want to humilate someone they weren't keen on in that way so they would be more discreet but for her to do that to you openly shows up her character not yours.

That is exactly what i thought, that i wouldn't even do that to someone i didn't like!!!!!

Keeping_Motivated

Instead of feeling rejected focus on 'this is her bad character NOT YOURS'. People can TRY to make us feel bad but the can't MAKE us feel bad we can chose to bounce it bakc their way. Hope that makes sense?!