Feel so bad

Paparika

pukkamum

how did it go this afternoon when you picked up your lil one?

nickyhutch

That book is great. She also does a column in the Times magazine on Saturdays.

MidLifeCrisis_3

Pukkamum, hope it was ok yesterday afternoon and this morning?

Just goes to show that everyone who's posted on this thread is really brave. Even if we don't feel it inside and no matter how difficult it is as long as we can all put on a brave face they'll never win and will never know we go home sometimes and cry our hearts out. Everyone deserves a chance, but once they've had enough chances then we should say "Screw 'em, they're not worth it anyway" and find friends who are more worthy of our time than these sad people.

We had a situation at our group recently where a gang of mums were making others feel intimidated and we found out they referred to us as "the snobby ones", but had they taken the time to get to know us they’d have realised we're far from it. Yeah, we don't give our kids crisps for breakfast and we care about their behaviour, but we drink, swear (try not to in front of the kids!), don't live in mansions or drive flashy cars, etc. We are a real mix, some of us are no make-up, jeans & t-shirt, local accent, kinda girls and some are well spoken mums with nice clothes and make-up for work, home or play because it makes them feel good inside and that's what counts. Deep down we’ve all got the same insecurities whether our house looks a mess or a show home sometimes or always. Just don’t open my cupboards!

The narrow minded mums have left now as their kids are older, but I still go out of my way to say "Hi" to them at the School or in the street (they don’t usually speak if they’re all together) as well as to the ones who think I’m not as good as them and feign that they haven’t seem me. It’s great seeing them squirm when I speak!

We also get new mums at school and I always try to have a little chat with them and hopefully make them feel included and try to introduce them to rest of us who all know each other, whether they’re off home or to work. We were all in this situation once and felt scared and left out too.

I feel so lucky to live where I do, but now have a problem arising with a girl who bullied me and has moved into my area (why?) and her kid will go to the same school 2 years behind my kids. Yeah I’m stressing, but she’s going to be in for a shock as I’m a much stronger different person. I've lived here for years now, have become established in the local groups, have super friends (none who would treat anyone the way OP has been treated) and I've joined a committee which has given me a lot of confidence. Hopefully it will be her feeling the way she used to make me feel and no I’ll never make her feel welcome or let her worm her way in to my life and control me again.

Fight fire with fire!

MLC

galvanizersbaby

Paparika wrote: »

I haven't a clue what half the terms are on here, the slummy mummy name, came from a book i read a while back, diary of a slummy mummy, she sounded just like me but with money. (but my car isn't as messy as her's), come and join my gang you could be a slummy mummy too, not entrance exam required

I think my sister may have brought me that book - haven't read it yet though it sounds amusing - sorted then I'll be a slummy mummy

Pukkamum - any update - how did you get on at school?

elona

pukkamum

Are you all right?

There is a new thread about a mum whose "nursery teacher" has given her the idea that her DD's lack of confidence is "her fault.

The mum " must" go out to other people's houses etc etc.

The idea of trying to push myself to be invited to lots of people's houses that I had nothing in common with would make me cringe!!!!!

I have posted on there but she could do with some encouragement and reassurance.

MidLifeCrisis_3

hadenough wrote: »

I think you were lucky I would not want to be friends with someone who was rude to me. Actually I think you are lucky at least someone at the school gates talks to you, my son is in year 6 and I am invisible to the the other mums who have children in the same year as my son.

I am so happy he is leaving there soon, because even he gets turned down nearly everytime he asks to go round someones house or for them to come to his house. We do not know any kids where we we live (no-one plays outside where we are) so often he comes home and is lonely, he is my only child and it makes me so angry to see him being snubbed. Why don't the parents think that a child wants to play and maybe lonely. But then again they all have more than one child so their children always have someone else to play with.

Sorry about the rant but the school gates politics make me so angry.

That's really awful for you and your son, I really feel for you both. I'd hate to see this happening to one of my kids. Again it brings back all those old horrid school day feelings and I'd just want to shake these people hard for being so nasty. Could he join a club or something that would enable him to meet new friends?

MLC

Diamond78

Hope it went ok up the school. Im shocked at how many parents are in similar situations. I cried today after dropping my son off to school. One of his classmates is having a party and as they lined up to go in class the mum gave out al the invites apart from my son. I know my son will be upset when I pick him up.But I am taking him to butlins next week so hopefully he wont feel hurt. Not one mum speaks to me up the school. Where I was living before I use to speak to a lot of mums, but some of them ganged up on me as I stood up to one of them as she had been gossiping about me. I wish I never as i ended up being attacked from behind in my sons classroom. It was totally unprovoked and the school was just as bad as they didnt do anything. It left my son very frightened, as well as me. They made our lives hell. How women can be so [EMAIL="b@tchy"]b@tchy[/EMAIL] and evil, I dont know. They are no role models to their children. They went so far with their grudge, they broke ito my garden, grafitted the front of our house and after that I had to leave coz i didnt feel safe.I dont think I would ever be friendly with any mums again as it has left me scared. While I know not all people are the same, I learnt the hard way. Luckily the police issued those mums with a harrassment warning.

pukkamum

hi everybody thank you so much for your concern and words of encouragement, it went ok at school this morn she was stood with the other mums so i just walked up and gave everyone a big smile and a hello, at first she wouldn't look at me, she clearly knew she had upset me ( i suspect my friend may have said something to her) i made a huge effort to be especially nice to her asking her about her plans for the half term. i thought sod it i am going to show you that i am a nice person and there was no justification for your behaviour.
I also think it was a good thing (in a weird kind of way) because today at the toddler group i made an affort to talk to mums who were by themselves and even have a play date next week!!!! It was nerve wracking but i am so glad i did it!!!!!You know what they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!!

Diamond78

Well done girl, im proud of you.Thats the way to go.

absolutebounder

Diamond78 wrote: »

Hope it went ok up the school. Im shocked at how many parents are in similar situations. I cried today after dropping my son off to school. One of his classmates is having a party and as they lined up to go in class the mum gave out al the invites apart from my son. I know my son will be upset when I pick him up.But I am taking him to butlins next week so hopefully he wont feel hurt. Not one mum speaks to me up the school. Where I was living before I use to speak to a lot of mums, but some of them ganged up on me as I stood up to one of them as she had been gossiping about me. I wish I never as i ended up being attacked from behind in my sons classroom. It was totally unprovoked and the school was just as bad as they didnt do anything. It left my son very frightened, as well as me. They made our lives hell. How women can be so b@tchy and evil, I dont know. They are no role models to their children. They went so far with their grudge, they broke ito my garden, grafitted the front of our house and after that I had to leave coz i didnt feel safe.I dont think I would ever be friendly with any mums again as it has left me scared. While I know not all people are the same, I learnt the hard way. Luckily the police issued those mums with a harrassment warning.

These are just people you come across in a situation the same as sitting on a bus or the tube. Nothing more than a smile and "Hi" is needed. They mean nothing to you and if you worry about things you are heading for trouble as it plays on your mind whilst they are not even giving you a second thought. In other word they win you lose.
if they talk to you then ask them about their lives etc and let them talk so that you build a bit of rapport and you may find common ground. You may not but you havent lost anything. i am aware you have had severe problems but try and get them behind you and treat everyday as a new start. If you let parents get to you it wont be long until their children get to yours which is no good for your son.
Yes I agree it is silly how people can be so b1tchy but thats the way it is. Nothing more than their own insecurity showing through.