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  • PROLIANT
    PROLIANT Posts: 6,396 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Just as well that I didn't post this last week then...
    france.jpglol sorry couldn't resist, hey everybody click this button and see what happens! sbag.jpg
    Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy.
  • ged1980
    ged1980 Posts: 1,342 Forumite
    PROLIANT wrote: »
    Just as well that I didn't post this last week then...
    france.jpglol sorry couldn't resist, hey everybody click this button and see what happens! sbag.jpg



    lol keep up the good work m8 you helped loads people
    If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter ;)
  • PROLIANT
    PROLIANT Posts: 6,396 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    For the final tuesday night comedy session, here is a couple of jokes for you to enjoy; N.B those of you who are void of a sense of humour please scroll down...

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

    They are both quite startled.
    The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
    She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
    *************************************************************


    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

    The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
    The husband, rejected, turns over.
    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
    'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
    *************************************************************



    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
    'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
    'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
    'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
    'Yes, I did.' he replied.
    'My God, Bill, what happened?'
    'I got fired.'

    'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh....she got fired too.'


    Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy.
  • PROLIANT
    PROLIANT Posts: 6,396 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    ged1980 wrote: »
    lol keep up the good work m8 you helped loads people
    Ged, did you click the button?
    Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy.
  • PROLIANT
    PROLIANT Posts: 6,396 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Anyway, back on topic I think, is there anymore "lurkers" out there with a storey to tell?
    Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy.
  • ged1980
    ged1980 Posts: 1,342 Forumite
    PROLIANT wrote: »
    Ged, did you click the button?


    no m8 lolol
    If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter ;)
  • ged1980
    ged1980 Posts: 1,342 Forumite
    PROLIANT wrote: »
    For the final tuesday night comedy session, here is a couple of jokes for you to enjoy; N.B those of you who are void of a sense of humour please scroll down...

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
    They are both quite startled.

    The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'
    She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'

    *************************************************************




    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
    The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'

    The husband, rejected, turns over.
    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
    'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
    *************************************************************





    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

    'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
    'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
    'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
    'Yes, I did.' he replied.
    'My God, Bill, what happened?'
    'I got fired.'
    'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh....she got fired too.'







    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :T :T :T :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
    If you dont like me remember its mind over matter, I dont mind and you dont matter ;)
  • Nice one, you've successfully lowered the tone of the board to the level of smut Mr P... I hope you're pleased with yourself speechless-smiley-040.gif
    "Oh Bother" said Pooh.
  • darcyvuqua
    darcyvuqua Posts: 2,459 Forumite
    im a lurker and this laughter better stop




    lol hows things mr p heard you wernt on for a while lolwelcome back
    you cant change yesterday
    but you can make tomorrow better
  • PROLIANT
    PROLIANT Posts: 6,396 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    darcyvuqua wrote: »
    im a lurker and this laughter better stop




    lol hows things mr p heard you wernt on for a while lolwelcome back
    Aye, threw my toys out the pram cos I got accused of being a racist, certainly not though.
    How are you doing anyway?
    Since when has the world of computer software design been about what people want? This is a simple question of evolution. The day is quickly coming when every knee will bow down to a silicon fist, and you will all beg your binary gods for mercy.
This discussion has been closed.
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