Nervous About Daughter Growing Up!!

divadee

Little miss divadee is now 10 will be 11 in Dec. She has got 2 hairs on her mini (as she calls it!) and last night came to me complaining that her boob was sore and she could feel a big lump.

I had a check and was a bit worried at first but after googling it, it is definatly a breast bud. Its a large flatish solid button type lump.

We have had a talk previously and she is fine with everything, and the school nurse spoke to the girls recently abot periods and stuff. She also has the usbourne book 'whats happening to my body'.

But my main problem is me!! lol. I am so worried that she is going to start her periods in junior school, she has another year to go. Mr divadee is being a typical man, oh my little baby has gone shes a young woman now etc..

How did other mums cope with it, were you the same as me? Its silly as I have obviously been through it myself, but i think it stems from my mum not telling me anything at all, i learnt it all through just17 magazine lol.

I have read that after the breasts start forming that it takes approx 2 years normally for periods to start, is this about right? I was nearly 12 when i started and hope little miss divadee will be the same, i just remember a friend who started at 8 when i was at school and it was awful for her. I dont think junior schools are set up for this type of thing really.

Please tell me im not the only one, who is worried and nervous about their little babys growing up?

Amanda65

It's awful isn't it??? DD1 is coming up to 17 and that is bringing a whole new set of problems lol. Oh how I wish she was 10 again!

I too was worried about junior school and how my DD's would cope if they started their periods at school but a quiet chat with the nice lady in the office put my mind at rest. As children are maturing so much quicker most junior schools have sanitary bins in school toilets and I was able to tell my girls that any problems they could go to the office and speak in confidence.

In Year 5 I gave each of them a small make up bag to keep in a pocket in their school bag and in it there was a sanitary towel, some clean knickers and some moist toilet tissue type wipes. The girls were both assured that this would see them through the day and if their underwear was 'messy' they could wrap it thoroughly in toilet paper and dispose of in the sanitary bin rather than carry around all day.

I also had a mum who, although fantastic, didn't speak to me about 'those sort of things' and my education came from 'Jackie' magazine :rotfl: I have tried very hard to be more open with my daughters (and DS) and hopefully they have all been better prepared than I was. Just keep the dialogue open and your daughter will cope .

hobo28

Well I'm a single dad who's daughter is going through the same thing. Its amazing how much earlier girls mature nowadays.

Still can't quite get over seeing my little girl wearing a bra. However it does seem to be quite common at her school so your DD shouldn't feel different.

The way I have coped quite frankly is to get a rather large bucket of sand and stick my head in it!!!! Luckily I've managed to delegate the whole talk/bra buying to my ex but I suppose you can't do that! I did sit down with her once with the intention of talking to her about maturing but I don't know who was more embarrassed. Me or her? In the end I mumbled a few words then retreated out of her bedroom before the earth opened up and swallowed us both up!

I'm sharpening the knives and loading the shotgun now in anticipation of the day when she starts bringing boys home....

poe.tuesday

you're not the only one, my daughter is now 10 and has a few hairs on her foo and her breasts are growing (only slightly), I have not spoken to her yet about periods but I know I am going to have to sooner rather than later but I so want it to be later, 10 is such a young age even though she is like a 40 year old when it comes to sensibility.

I am hoping that she won't start her periods until she is at least 12 but TBH I think that she will cope no matter when she starts, it's me who s having the problem as I know she will what the scientific reasons behind what is going on, I think it's time I bought that book the OP mentions

tru

Miss tru started when she was nine. She had one period, nothing for five months then had very light, regular periods. She had a make-up bag too, with a couple of pads and some wipes. I told her favourite teacher (with miss tru's permission lol) and she knew she could go to her at any time if there were awkward moments, like changing for PE etc.

Mr tru was the same as mr divadee, oh no I haven't got a little girl anymore.

I would say schools are ready for this sort of thing, not like when I went to school - they were useless :rolleyes:

softwaremad

my dd started her periods 8 months ago at age 11. two years before this i had been worying silly about how an autistic child would cope when the dreaded monthlys appear as she had started growing hairs on her hoo~! i asked for lots of help but it was 18 months between the first hairs on her hoo & under arms before periods started turning up so yes it is right you got a 2 yr reprieve lol!

findingmyownway

Without wishing to alarm you, my stepD is as flat as a pancake but started her periods earlier this year (10yo, a few weeks before she turned 11yo in school year 6).

This was before her older (12yo) sister but the eldest soon caught up a few weeks later.

Don't worry too much, they take it all in their stride. 10yo was naturally very shocked but a few cuddles and a chat and she was fine again.

Understandably their Dad left it to me to sort out as they were both at our house. I think their real Mum thought i'd been putting something in their tea when she got phone calls from them both only a couple of weeks apart!!

I also bought them a little makeup bag with clean knickers etc to keep in their school bags. Plus i got the 10yo a book as she hadn't really had many lessons at school whereas the 12yo was much more prepared.

emma12345

I'm already terrified and my daughter is only 5 !

I've been told by someone at the school that lots of children are starting to develop a lot younger nowadays. When I was at school (I'm in my late 30's) most of us started our periods around 13 or 14. Now its very likely girls will start their periods in junior school. It's probably more distressing for us parents than the children though as their classmates will be in the same situation as them.

fiddling_flower_petals

Amanda65 wrote: »

In Year 5 I gave each of them a small make up bag to keep in a pocket in their school bag and in it there was a sanitary towel, some clean knickers and some moist toilet tissue type wipes. The girls were both assured that this would see them through the day and if their underwear was 'messy' they could wrap it thoroughly in toilet paper and dispose of in the sanitary bin rather than carry around all day.

Thanks Amanda65, think I'll poach this idea for my DD

This is a great idea! If you prepare DD with knowledge about periods, puberty and practical help , as per Amanda65 post your DD will feel empowered and feel able to cope.

Also OH could do with pep talk about practicalities( ST's, hot water bottles, etc), let DD know she should be able to approach her DF too, in case your not around.

My Mum started her periods at 10 and therefore set about informing me about puberty at an early age, she also bought pack of ST's and left them in my bedroom drawer, just in case she was working and Dad was home, to save any embassesment(mine and his). Whenever I went away with School, G Guides or friends she'd always make sure I packed ST's. Fortunately I never started periods till I was 15(late developer) but I always felt that if my period was to start, I'd be able to get on with it.

Toto

softwaremad wrote: »

my dd started her periods 8 months ago at age 11. two years before this i had been worying silly about how an autistic child would cope when the dreaded monthlys appear as she had started growing hairs on her hoo~! i asked for lots of help but it was 18 months between the first hairs on her hoo & under arms before periods started turning up so yes it is right you got a 2 yr reprieve lol!

Oh my goodness this strikes a chord with me. I have 2 DDs one aged 12 and one almost 11. I am expecting the 12 yr old to start anytime soon and it bothers me. That said, it's easier with her because she understands what is happening and can deal with using sanitary towels etc. However, the younger one is severely autistic and has the developmental age of a 2 year old. She has a good covering of hair downstairs and has breast buds too. I am so worried about how we'll cope and how she'll cope with her periods. She hates clothing and I can't imagine for a second she'll put up with towels.

Of course on top of that it's so hard to see a child who is for all the world still a baby develop into a woman. I think most mums go through this though, no matter what.

chattycathy1674

Good subject....on my mind a lot recently!

I've just ordered the book mentioned above!

My daughter was nine, two weeks ago and she has breast buds & pubic hair......Growing at a fast rate too....She gives me an update every few days bless her, lolol!
She's an intelligent girl but I was unsure about informing her (just yet) about periods.....Would be a bit of a shock!

Anyway, she spotted my tampons last night and threw up a few questions...So I took that lead from her to give her a brief outline.

I did decline being asked to demonstrate the tampon insertion though!
However a cup of water did a good replacement for now!

I think she was more amazed at how much it swelled up! I suspect my supply will have gone down next time I look!!!....and I'll be finding them in the bin/loo!

It's a tricky area....Okay it's natural yeah...and they need to know. But she's still so innocent in a lot of ways and the full 'birds & bees' bit, at her age, I feel would be too much.
Again though I'll take my lead from her. She's very open with me so I'm sure things will be fine.
Bless her little face when I mentioned bleeding from your foo (her word!) every month....I think she thought I was pulling her leg!
I did say she would be using sanitary towels for many years first though. She said they looked comfy and could she have one on now!

Awww I'm soooo glad I'm well past puberty!

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