advice on catholic in-laws

Oldernotwiser

If the OP's inlaws are very traditionally Catholic then a Protestant ceremony won't mean anything to them so the OP will be betraying her beliefs for no reason. I think floss2's suggestion is an excellent one as you may find the inlaws hovering near the baby with jugs of water anyway!

Bargain_Rzl

I like floss2's suggestion, too. Presumably this would mean the child would be baptised in the eyes of the grandparents, without you as parents being obliged to take baptismal vows on the child's behalf as I assume you would have to do in church.

surreysaver

CIS wrote: »

Apparently the pope determined that Limbo does not exist and all children will go to heaven regardless.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article659379.ece

That's what I was going to say! I am atheist, my wife is Catholic, and she did not know this. It looks like us Pagans are more aware of what is going on in the Catholic faith than the Catholics are!

Seaxwyn

Hi Jess. I completely sympathise and my own feeling is: stick to your guns, don't have a christening. The in-laws may be upset, there may be arguments, but time is a great healer and they will get over it.

My parents are conventional church-going folk and found many of the things my siblings and I did difficult to deal with. For example I live with a divorced man and we are not married. My parents hated this situation at first but now it's as if they never had the slightest doubt he was the right man. And my gay sister - very upsetting for them at first, now they go on holiday with my sister and her partner.

Do what feels right for you - don't go for any compromise baptism or you will feel resentful and there will be rows anyway.

larmy16

Anyone on here catholic and old enough to remember purgatory??? What with limbo, purgatory and hell being shoved down our five year old throats, I spent many a sleepless night I can tell you!

1jim

It doesnt sound like the parents would be happy with them performing a "baptism", it sounds like they want the child properly baptised in the eyes of the church, in honesty I dont think they will settle for anything less, especially if they have very strong (and fixed) ideas. IMHO the best idea is to stick to your guns, politly point out that this is your child you are debating and that whilst you respect their views they should in turn respect yours and as parents you have to do what you see as the right thing to do, not an easy conversation to have I would imagine but good luck with it

pulliptears

One thought for you...

I'm Catholic (and Atheist!), but I had both my kids baptised Catholic. Not because I believed in any sin/heaven scaremongering, but purely because the best local schools in my area were Catholic. Nothing like a bit of forward planning lol

That said, this is your child so you should do exactly as you wish, and your inlaws will have to accept that.

margaretclare

I didn't know that the idea of original sin still existed - I thought it had gone out a century or more ago!

Anyone can baptise a child 'in an emergency' i.e. if the baby is ill. Catholic nurses will have done this many a time.

Nowadays the idea of a baptism is to 'welcome the child into the church's family as a new member'.

I used to be a Catholic. I left because the parish priest couldn't accept the fact that, as a widow, I'd found a new partner, but he happened to be divorced and not baptised. We joined the Methodist Church instead, where we're still active members. He was baptised here at home by our minister, in his 70th year, and confirmed at church the following Sunday.

Pink_butterfly_3

If it was me personally, I would just do it.

If its going to avoid a load of hassle and bad feeling then I don't really understand who its going to hurt?

I was baptised when I was a baby and i'm still a 'heathen' lol. It didn't make a jot of difference in my life, no-one tried to force any religious stuff on me and it kept my grandparents happy at the time.

I went through a similar sort of thing with my DD. In the end we had her baptised and i'm really glad we did. Aside from all the religious stuff, it was a lovely way to welcome her to the world with all the family. Plus she got loads of lovely presents Look, I already know i'm going to hell so ner

pulliptears

Ahh but Pink, all the fun people will be in hell