advice on catholic in-laws

jess901

Hi,

My partner and I would like to have a very MSE baby naming ceremony soon after our baby is born this summer. We are not religious and would feel hypocritical making promises in the eye of a god we don't believe in / putting a religion upon our son that he cannot comprehend etc. (Just our feelings, not meant to offend anyone!)

My partners parents are catholic. A year or so ago they expressed concern at a 9 month wait for the baptism of another grandchild - because I couldn't see the problem and mentioned that my future children wouldn't be christened or baptised there was a fairly heated discussion. They are otherwise really great and we get on very well.

With the due date ever closer and knowing this could be an issue (even though they don't have a problem with us not being married and they don't attend church?) I checked out why the 9 month wait had been an issue. Apparently the Catholic god does not allow babies to enter heaven pre-baptism because they are in original sin

Does anyone have any tips on how I can approach this and make them see that there is nothing to worry about? They don't seem to mind if it is a christian or catholic ceremony as long as it is done - the thought that it will never be done (by us) may be really distressing for them , if they think that god punishes babies? And we definitley won't be having one!

I don't want to end up arguing with them, but it was near on impossible to put my reasons across last time.

Thanks for any advice!

CIS

Apparently the pope determined that Limbo does not exist and all children will go to heaven regardless.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article659379.ece

jess901

Thats brilliant! They now surely can have no fear of the baby not being baptised :-) Thank you!

miserly_mum

I didn't have any of my children christened either, even though my Dad (a Christian but not a Catholic) moaned on and on about it. I have no religious beliefs and didn't see the point.

If your in laws feel really strongly about it could you not have a private christening performed by their local Priest.

It doesn't have to be done in Church in front of everyone. It could perhaps be performed at their home? They could even get the baby a christening shawl or gown?

It wouldn't do any harm, won't take long and you'd gain about a million brownie points with your in laws.

jess901

I can see your point but to be honest I'm really, really against it on principle and wouldn't want it doing at all. I have no problem at all with other people following this route, religious or otherwise, but it goes against everything I believe.

Following a number of bad experiences with the catholic church the thought of actually saying the words involved or speaking to a preist makes me feel quite sick!

I know it seems extreme, and it would be alot easier to follow your advice (!), but its important to me that we stick to our guns on this one. :rolleyes:

miserly_mum wrote: »

I didn't have any of my children christened either, even though my Dad (a Christian but not a Catholic) moaned on and on about it. I have no religious beliefs and didn't see the point.

If your in laws feel really strongly about it could you not have a private christening performed by their local Priest.

It doesn't have to be done in Church in front of everyone. It could perhaps be performed at their home? They could even get the baby a christening shawl or gown?

It wouldn't do any harm, won't take long and you'd gain about a million brownie points with your in laws.

lifesuckssometimes

As a catholic myself my 3 children are not baptized i don't go to church and am not a hypocrite and i don't go at Christmas and easter ether. we will all go to heaven if we are good.. but don't be pushed into something you are not comfortable with if they are good catholics they will understand want they. Sorry but some catholics are such hipocrites and make my blood boil.

margaretclare

I didn't think anyone believed this any more - about unbaptised babies going to hell.

It's certainly very old-fashioned.

jess901

I think, because they are older, and spent most of their lives in a very structured and strict, church-orientated life it has been drilled into them about this baptism thing. They had all 7 of their own children baptised the day they came out of the hospital!

I think the fact that the pope has said this will really help things along; either way they do believe the child to be in limbo without the baptism which must be really concerning, and I guess the only person who can sway that belief is the pope himself!

jess901

margaretclare wrote: »

I didn't think anyone believed this any more - about unbaptised babies going to hell.

It's certainly very old-fashioned.

Its so old-fashioned! I imagine that, in reality, any loving god would welcome and innocent baby/child into his/her heaven with open arms.

If such faith is put in god, than have faith that he/she is reasonable and rational (and therefore recognises innocence) or else the faith is being put in a very flawed character!!!

LilMissEmmylou

life sucks - the whole point of christianity is that being good isnt enough. Do u think if ur a model person but have no faith God will take you into heaven anyway? No because none of us are perfect and thus being good in earthly terms isnt actually enough, so we need to believe to be free from sin and get into heaven. Sorry just had to say that.

tbh im of the christen them young camp so I wont really comment too much, i see your PILs view but they are also your children and not theirs.

1jim

lifesuckssometimes wrote: »

As a catholic myself my 3 children are not baptized i don't go to church and am not a hypocrite and i don't go at Christmas and easter ether. we will all go to heaven if we are good.. but don't be pushed into something you are not comfortable with if they are good catholics they will understand want they.

what he/she said:T
I am catholic, my wife is not, to be honest Im not sure what I believe (but I guess if pushed would say that I do believe in a god), I dont go to church and do not really want to label my children into any religion at such a young age, when they are older (they are 3yrs and 16mths) we can talk about religion and I will support whatever they choose to do.
To be absolutly honest I did toy with christening our children for a few minutes but this was purely from the view of having the option of getting them into the local catholic school when they are older:o I came to my senses and stuck with my principles though (who knows may go to heaven just for that:rolleyes: )

We had a "non-christening" party for our children and invited everyone we would have invited to a christening (had we had one), didnt have any naming ceremony or anything it was just a little celebration of them being here in the world (if that dosent sound too new ageish)