Need Advice About An Ex

kimlisa66

Hi there

Having just been through something quite similar with my husband (we separated in October last year) I can tell you now he is trying to bully you. He is an abuser and if he continues to harrass you or make threats of any kind , go and see a solicitor and have a non-molestation order taken out on him. It carries powers of arrest and belive me, you will get rid of him once and for all.

Like the other posters said, he is a chancer, a con man and is trying to play on the fact that you might not know your rights. Get the locks changed, do not engage with him at all and most of all, don't worry about him having any sort of financial claim. He would need thousands of pounds to pursue this through a court and it would be laughed at by the judge.

I would report him to the CSA and HMRC and give it to him with both barrels.

What a parasite, you are well rid !!

Good luck

Kim

Dill

Toots wrote: »

The OP needs to be very careful in notifying the CSA and taxman (although if you can do it anonymously then go ahead).

Am I right in thinking that if he wasn't registered to pay Council Tax at the address then the OP will be registered as a sole occupant and have been claiming a 25% discount on their Council Tax? If this is the case and they threaten to report or actually report him, then if they haven't been truthful with the council about him living there, they could also be in trouble if he reports them for not declaring it. The OP will have been guilty of fdefrauding the system too.

He might want to play 'tit for tat'.

Just a thought.

That thought occurred to me, too...

Perhaps it's just a what-if, after all it does sound like he's just trying it on to get what he can out of the OP.

But IF he were to go to the council and say she's been claiming fraudulently as a sole-occupier, would that get both of them into trouble, or would it just be the OP?

Anyway, fingers crossed he'll get fed up and go and find other fish to fry when he doesn't get the reaction he wants.

missstropy

It would be the OP that would get into trouble for claiming reduced council tax and not declaring him living there. Im going through similar situation with the council tax myself now. I let someone use my address as a safe address for post and the council tax benefits cross referenced my NI number with his NI number and they came up as the same address. Ive since been called into town hall and accused of having someone living withe me and claiming benefits which is not true. I am now being investigated or so I was told. And if they find anything I would be prosecuted. They are welcome to watch my house and come around at any time day or night.

But back to the OP I dont think he has a leg to stand on everything is in your name. And he will be in big doo doo when the council tax eventually catch up with him and want him to pay all his back council tax.

BallandChain

I don't think the council tax would fall to the ex to pay. The house is in the name of the OP and all her bills are too. She would be liable for the shortfall and possible prosecution.

i_like_shoes

I'd like to just say that my ex always worked ..... very hard infact. He did contribute to the house very well, but also i had a large food bill and a lot of weekends away.
The thing i am worried about now though is the council tax, but i know for a fact the house where he's stopping will have a vacant council tax band, if there is one ( staying at a mates who doesn't live there, just got house as investment), so i suppose 2 could play at that game...... but i'm not that nasty... couldn't be if i tried. My heckles only come up when i'm put into a corner lol

beer_tins

A few questions:

Did he do any work on the house?

What kind of a monthly contribution did he pay?

Did any of it go on the mortgage? On improvements?

It sounds like he paid a small amount towards the household every month. A barrister friend of mine once said to me, before I get married to pay for the mortgage and all bills to avoid any possibility of a future claim. He's a family lawyer and a real cynic! At the same time your ex has no proof he lived there or paid towards anything.

He's got no hope, but take legal advice if it will set your mind at ease.

RE: the council tax, of course it's not in your interest to mention this, but if he threatens to a) he is jointly liable (presuming he would have to give a name of who was living with you, even if anonymous) and b) Again, there is no evidence of him ever having lived there, which the council would need to prosecute.

In short, the fact that he has no paper trail, means he has no hope. If it ever went as far as a court, his character would be assassinated in court by your lawyers, based on what you've mentioned so far. As it's a "your word against his" situation, he'll lose unless you have a similarly dark past and it doesn't sound like you do.

Either way, it's a bluff. If he wants to take a "legal" route, he has to come "overground" and would open himself up to all sorts of legal trouble e.g. the CSA, Revenue and customs etc.

hobo28

i_like_shoes wrote: »

He did contribute to the house very well.....

....The thing i am worried about now though is the council tax....

The bottom line is what can he prove. Can he prove that he made a signficant financial contribution such as paying the mortgage, paying for a new kitchen or paying the utility bills. If its all in your name and all paid out of your bank account then he can prove nothing.

The council tax thing is cause for a little concern as technically you've been lying by not declaring him there. That said again its what can the council prove. If he's not had his name on any of the bills etc. then its your word against his and you can just claim he's lying just to get you into trouble.

Curv

ils - you could always approach the council and explain the situation to them yourself... if you tell them he bullied you into not declaring his presence, that you are doing so (albeit retrospectively) at the first opportunity and that you are offering to pay any shortfall, that would get him and the LA off your back completely...

UglyBetty

The trouble with men like your ex is that they fill you with all sorts of doubts and anxieties. Firstly you need to stop believing him. Distance yourself from him, as others have said he is now out for himself so you need to protect yourself. In distancing yourself you will be taking the first steps to being rid of someone that drains you of energy, emotions and cash. Don't bother concerning yourself in his dealings, dodgy or otherwise. He is no longer your concern and presumably you don't want that 'concern' reciprocated. Don't forget that now you are no longer a couple, you don't have to have a dialogue with him, answer his questions or speak to him if you don't want to (unless you have children of course). Any communication he makes with you will be for his benefit and not yours (no change there then).

Your home: it is irrelevant that he paid his wages into your account. That sum could account for his share of living expenses. If a lodger pays to live somewhere it doesn't follow that he owns the house. By the same token your ex would have to demonstrate that he actually paid the mortgage or that he purchased materials for building/improvements to the house, in order to claim anything.
Good luck in your new life

scud4984

just want to bring this thread back up... I never did go through with anything, we ended up getting back together,, and i did spend an awful lot of money on the house, and i do have reciepts. But,, i`m not the vindictive person she`s made me out to be. She has made me look like i was in the wrong.. However.. A year later... I`m in a better place,, i no longer fund her lifestyle, she showed her true colours when i found out about her using my money to pay for hotels to see a married man from her work... So,, until you hear both sides of a story,, please dont just assume the woman is always right....Oh,, and she, Wendy , has had off of me,, over the past 8 years,.. As my reciepts for work done and paid for out of my bank state,, £15,478.... Self employed ppl keep records..