May - living on fresh air challenge...

Frith

Thanks, Beanielou.

I wanted to point out that its not my first date since 1998 (that would be a bit sad!) but its the first, FIRST date since then. And that date was with my ex husband and he doesn't count....

Liz
P.S I'm trying not to think of the silence after this gentleman worked out just how old I am....

RAS

How's the date?

Frith

He hasn't run screaming yet (to my knowledge) but then there's time yet before Thursday...

Liz

P.S What he doesn't know is that I shall be ANOTHER year older by the end of this month!

RAS

Don't you dare tell him then!

Hope you enjoy it. May be posting a bit irregularly for the next week or so, but glad you are getting out.

Frith

Hmmm, not had a good day today.

I went to the school where I volunteer this morning (not my sons' school but in another local village). Bear in mind I only have training as an archaeologist and have not finished my NVQ which is just as a teaching assistant...

At 9.05 the teacher took several of the class out and said "Here are some literacy text books and these books have numeracy questions in. Do literacy until break then numeracy from after break until lunch" !!!!! I was then left with half a class of kids for 3 hours completely unsupervised. One boy had only joined the school this morning!

In the afternoon (when the teacher reappeared) I was helping with painting and the head came up to me and said, "You'll be finishing with us soon. How much longer will you need to be here now your coursework is nearly finished?" so that was obviously my cue to leave :-( My sister is a teacher and she is completely up in arms about this and says I should write to complain.

I don't even know why I carry on there, you never get a word of thanks or even a Christmas card.

On the way home, the pipe bit of the car exhaust fell off completely.

The date... I was so nervous I nearly kept driving! However, 3 hours flew by and he *seems* very nice. We are going out again in a few days. Now, I don't know if this is some weird ptsd thing or if its just me being paranoid after being married to the evil ex, but my mind is in overdrive. I can see the difference immediately between this chap and the ex (i.e he has a job, friends, social life and cares about his family and other people) BUT he asked about my house and how I had done well to keep it after the divorce. Of course, I have twisted this round completely to mean he is now only going out with me so he has somewhere nice to move in to :-S

There seemed so many things I was not telling him. Like being mentally ill, what the ex was like... all lovely details to save to tell him another time!

L

RAS

Acey

I am not a good candidate for advice on relationships. Realising that I was possibly about make the same mistake a third time, I ditched out. However, part of that resulted from the knowledge that if he moved in and things went pear-shaped, it could affect me financially.

Remember, it is and was a DATE, not a precursor to marriage. Just decide to do it for the experience and then get out of the situation.

When you whole life recently has revolved round the struggle to stay afloat, it is hard to make small talk. Next time, say, we seemed to talked all about me last time, what about you? Where did you go to Uni? What is your job? What do you like/dislike about it ?

So get it into perspective and keep yourself safe. When you have been living with someone who treats you badly, it takes time to get it right. One of my very dear friends who eventually left a violent marriage had al sorts of relationships before she found someone who respected her. Not that I recommend that strategy as it was not good for the kids. You would however have the advantage of having some child free time to explore the relationships without imposing on the kids.

Frith

Well, we went out again and I am *slightly* less paranoid now!

One problem is he has worked out that something dreadful happened regarding the ex and he would really like to know what it was which is leading to quite a few awkward questions :-S I am not sure when to have a "little chat" about the ex...

RAS

How are things at the moment?

Frith

Hello, RAS.

I think its safe to say things are going rather well :-)

The ex is still being a prat and my sons tell me the police were called out during one altercation between the ex and his neighbour...

Things quite good finance wise as I got a bit of money back (!) from the Legal Services Commission as I had overpaid them. Nothing from the CSA yet this year but I will write to the MP and the CSA again when I get 10 minutes.

Hope all is well with you.
Liz

beanielou

Fab news on both counts ACEY.
GET those letters done!