May - living on fresh air challenge...

gratefulforhelp_2

Hang in there.
My experience of the CSA is it's a full time job. keep a record of everything they tell you, write it on a calendar or in a diary so you have dates. Ask to seak to a supervisor, tell them what they last told you and tell them what you want them to do. You have to be polite of course, but fairly firm as they pay peanuts and guess what they get?!
Men have a tortuous and bizarre set of responses in avoiding responsibilities, my ex has a 6 year non-compliant history with the CSa, and has just asked if I would like to make a private arrangement, because he "takes his financial responsibilities seriously" !!!!!!!!!

gratefulforhelp_2

Sorry, that should be "some men"

Frith

Well, its been 53 weeks now since I had a payment from the ex so I suppose there's no rush! The deadline for the CSA to actually achieve something (as set by the Independant Case Examiner) is 25th February...

RAS

This would try the patience of a saint.

I presume he thinks he is going back to court for custody or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot see that refusing supervised access helps him.

And I am so thrilled with the idea of you celebrating Valentine's Day. Would you have believed it a year ago??

Frith

Oh, its a farce, RAS!

On Thursday, my solicitor received the paperwork saying I was being taken to court. On Friday, she received a fax saying the ex will see them in our local contact centre.

She is absolutely raging - you can't do both of the above! Also, we have not had the info on the new partner so things really cannot progress. She is sure a judge will say exactly the same. I'm quite looking forward to seeing her in action tomorrow.

Contact centre this Saturday, presuming the judge doesn't force the old contact order to carry on :-S

Valentine's Day - Ed Byrne is on locally on that night! So I've got tickets for that. OH doesn't know :-)

L

Frith

Oh yes, quite forgot about little son! He had his first meeting with the Occupational Therapist last week and really likes her. Every time we go into town, he asks if he can see her again. We missed yesterday's appointment because the OT could not get her car off her drive in the snow.

Little son is an interesting case! She assessed him for an hour and wants another hour :-S

There was a meeting about all the SEN children at school last week. I had to sign a form afterwards and ALL the boxes were ticked for little son - School Action, School Action Plus and a 3rd box which meant nothing to me at all (i.e it did not say statement).

Nothing from the CSA, needless to say.

Liz

RAS

Hi

Unfortunately the logic of exs bears no thinking about, because those who are disruptive use the courts to cause problems.

We had mum slated for not taking us to the high courts for a hearing. Next time she took us and they blew a gasket because we had obviously been brought along all primed to say dad was a !!!!!!. Her lawyer suggested that late teens were not the most tractable of subjects but it held no water.

Frith

Its all going a bit pear shaped...

Went to court last week. My solicitor said how the court order had been broken, all trust was lost and that the ex's new fiancee has 2 children in care and we have been asking for information about her for 7 weeks but not received any yet...

Contact was started up again :-(

The boys went Saturday and Sunday and when they came back it was just like before, shouting, swearing, blaming me and my new partner for everything. The ex had told them EVERYTHING about the court (although he has signed an undertaking not to).

The ex is obviously winding big son up and my new partner thinks the ex is going to try and make trouble for him. Last night, my older son just kept telling my new partner that he hates him, he is a "nasty man" and he is going to "tell Daddy you are a nasty man". My new partner wonders what on earth the ex is going to allege against him - he is in the sort of job where you would be suspended straight away if any sort of investigation had to take place :-(

Oh yes, there are 2 weeks for the CSA to get their act in gear - and the ex has left his job AGAIN.

Today I am trying to phone school to say the ex will be picking the boys up again on Mondays and Tuesdays ("his" days), then I've got to phone little son's Occupational Therapist to say I can't take him on Mondays anymore. Its so ridiculous. The Occ Therapist is aware that little sons issues *might* stem from when the ex shook him (that is why I left the ex) but now I am going to tell her that my sons are back with that very same individual!

I'm going to write another post about finances now which is something I can possibly do something about...

L

Frith

Right, are there any savings I can make? I was thinking: change electricity suppliers, get PPI back from MCS... I don't suppose there are cold weather payments? :-P

Outgoings (monthy direct debits)

Electricity (NPower) - £57
Firewood - £50
Water (Severn Trent) - £9
Phone/broadband (TalkTalk) - up to £50, have to pay an extra £10 because its a rural exchange.
Mobile phone (3) - £9
Mortgage (Abbey) - £80 but fluctuates
Debt with MCS - £1
Debt to Child Tax Credits - £10
TV licence - £35 per quarter
House insurance - £17.67
Car insurance - would be £20 but I paid it in one go.

Food etc - £200
Petrol - £40

Income (weekly)

Child benefit - £33.20
Child Tax Credits - £90.22
Income Support - £60.50
CSA - hmmmmm.

Any thoughts? :-)

Liz

Elsas_mamma

HI, can't offer any thoughts on how you can save any more. But wanted to say keep going. You have done so well considering.
Just one thought, do you get free school meals? Could be worth looking into.