May - living on fresh air challenge...

Lula-Hula

Hi Acey,

I am so glad to read another of your posts, I do follow your sagas with great sympathy. As regards the finances I think you've got it cut to pretty much the bare minimum. Roll on spring when we can start to supply our own veg again eh .

With regards to your ex I am so sorry to hear that all the stress has started up again. I really dont know what to say other than ((big hugs)). Children are very susceptible to adult pressure when young but I am absolutely confident that as your sons grow they will come to see your ex in all his true colours. I know that's not much comfort right now but you have come this far & are obviously made of strong stuff to have reached where you are now :A

I am so pleased to hear that you have plans for valentines day & hope you have a wonderful time - Ed Byrne - lucky you

Best wishes to you all
Lula
xx

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

Its all going a bit pear shaped...

Went to court last week. My solicitor said how the court order had been broken, all trust was lost and that the ex's new fiancee has 2 children in care and we have been asking for information about her for 7 weeks but not received any yet...

Contact was started up again :-(

The boys went Saturday and Sunday and when they came back it was just like before, shouting, swearing, blaming me and my new partner for everything. The ex had told them EVERYTHING about the court (although he has signed an undertaking not to).

Your new solicitor needs a full report on exactly what the boys said and what ex has told them. Then she needs to boolock ex via his solicitor.

ACEY wrote: »

The ex is obviously winding big son up and my new partner thinks the ex is going to try and make trouble for him. Last night, my older son just kept telling my new partner that he hates him, he is a "nasty man" and he is going to "tell Daddy you are a nasty man". My new partner wonders what on earth the ex is going to allege against him - he is in the sort of job where you would be suspended straight away if any sort of investigation had to take place :-( .

EX is "morbidly jealous". No way is he going to take your developing a new relationship lying down.

A couple of thoughts.

I suggest OH advises his employer of the current situation now rather than wait for something to happen.

Also suggest that you avoid having oH around when the boys come back from weekend visits at least. They may calm down a bit before he re-appears.

ACEY wrote: »

Today I am trying to phone school to say the ex will be picking the boys up again on Mondays and Tuesdays ("his" days), then I've got to phone little son's Occupational Therapist to say I can't take him on Mondays anymore. Its so ridiculous. The Occ Therapist is aware that little sons issues *might* stem from when the ex shook him (that is why I left the ex) but now I am going to tell her that my sons are back with that very same individual!

Can you not ask the court to arrange a differne t day as this plan adversely affect littleiuns OT appointment. OR how about asking ex to take little unto OT? Give her a chance to assess the situation face to face?

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

get PPI back from MCS... - that wouldbe used to reduce your debts, not as extera money. But worth it particulalry given the recent OFt advice.

I don't suppose there are cold weather payments? :-P

Outgoings (monthy direct debits)

Electricity (NPower) - £57
Firewood - £50
Water (Severn Trent) - £9
Phone/broadband (TalkTalk) - up to £50, have to pay an extra £10 because its a rural exchange. - explore the telephone forum for free/cheap calls.
Mobile phone (3) - £9
Mortgage (Abbey) - £80 but fluctuates
Debt with MCS - £1
Debt to Child Tax Credits - £10
TV licence - £35 per quarter
House insurance - £17.67 - this is high. Check via the comparison sites and then swap via www.quidco.com?
Car insurance - would be £20 but I paid it in one go.

Food etc - £200
Petrol - £40

Income (weekly)

Child benefit - £33.20
Child Tax Credits - £90.22
Income Support - £60.50
CSA - hmmmmm.

Any thoughts? :-)

Liz

Apart from the insurance ....

My biggest thought is that come spring you put aside a bit of money each month towards next winter's fuel costs?

Frith

RAS wrote: »

Your new solicitor needs a full report on exactly what the boys said and what ex has told them. Then she needs to boolock ex via his solicitor.

I send her an email every time something happens. So last Monday she sent a letter telling the ex not to discuss various matters and, if it happens again, we will go back to court to make him stop and serve him with a penal notice. We'll see what the boys say when they come back today!


EX is "morbidly jealous". No way is he going to take your developing a new relationship lying down.

A couple of thoughts.

I suggest OH advises his employer of the current situation now rather than wait for something to happen.

He has done this. His boss has written a statement already in case we need it stating he has enhanced CRB clearance and has been on the extra council employee course about child protection.

Also suggest that you avoid having oH around when the boys come back from weekend visits at least. They may calm down a bit before he re-appears.

Yes. This is going to happen at the next weekend visit due to his work so I will see if it helps.

Can you not ask the court to arrange a differne t day as this plan adversely affect littleiuns OT appointment. OR how about asking ex to take little unto OT? Give her a chance to assess the situation face to face?

I've changed all his days now to "my" days. The ex had a bit of a thing about the boys' appointment i.e he used to hide the letters about them, not tell me, then not take them... Goodness knows why, its just one of his creepy habits.

Frith

RAS - re: your 2nd post!

I did do the house insurance through Quidco. I got a few quotes and Nationwide were one of the better ones. This is house and contents insurance. I am supposed to be getting £75 cashback (which makes the quote look better) but have been waiting since July so I wonder if its coming at all...

OH has been getting tons of logs at a time from his brother (a tree surgeon) and they are seasoning in his garage until next year :-)

Hope you are well. Half term now so while the boys are with their father today, I am taking the garden fence down. I've already dropped a 6 foot long concrete thingy across my foot, didn't realise the extent of the damage until I came in just now and had to prise my boot off...

Liz

Frith

RAS - I've just re-read my posts and I'm sorry it looks like I have an answer for everything!

Interested in the PPI reclaiming. Is that simple to do on the forum for it on here?

They've already said they would halve my debt (MCS) so it would be "only" £4000. To get a bit more knocked off would be super.

Liz

RAS

Very quickly S i HGAVE TO GO.

I did draft a letter last year which referred to the PPI and Charges on this account. That would knowck it back to about £3,500-£4,000. If you got that at 40 (perhaps less) a settlement figure would be nearer £1500.

Will look for it later. may take a day or two.

Frith

Thanks, RAS.

I'd really like to crack the MCS debt. That would leave just the Tax Credits overpayment which I'm in no hurry to pay as I ALWAYS gave them accurate figures and information and they messed it up...

Liz

Frith

OOoo, I haven't been here for a while!

Re: the ex - its all change. We found out about the new lady he has moved in (met her in November, moved her in, got engaged, getting married in May). I can't really tell you all about her (sadly) but she's a strange one...

Suffice to say, after 2 court appearances to talk about the situation and her, the boys are not allowed any contact with her. The ex was asked to choose between her or seeing his boys and he chose her :-(

He was asked just what contact he would like so its a tiny amount (an hour here and there) in the week then 3 hours every other weekend. Compared with Mondays, Tuesdays each week and Sat am - Sun evening every other weekend and almost half school holidays before.

Finance wise - not too bad! I'm tentatively considering getting us passports and actually taking them abroad for a few days this year. My brother was made redundant last week and is considering all his options but in the mean time I'm hoping he will start big son off with some trumpet lessons...

New man - well, I can't tell you about the ex's lady friend except to say the whole episode has got me down and also angered (and probably ever so slightly scared) new man too :-( My being a nervous wreck doesn't help anything. I've been to the new clinical psychologist once but assessment will take 3 sessions before she can get stuck in with helping me.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there! I'm taking my sons to the park just now then we're off to my mum and dad's for lunch.

L

Frith

Well, new man got the heave-ho, just shows I am capable of at least one sensible decision per year. :-(

All the same otherwise. Waiting for Social Services to deem how much of a risk the ex's new girlfriend is. If she is almost risk-free, the boys will be able to stay overnight with the ex again :-S I can't imagine she IS risk free, as her own 3 children have been taken into care then adopted...

Boys doing well! They're both doing gymnastics now and little son will start at Beavers soon. Little son has finished with the Occupational Therapist, seen the Paediatrician and only has Speech Therapy and Educationl Psychology to go. Its looking like some unknown learning difficulties or perhaps Aspergers Syndrome. No diagnosis until everyone has seen him and written a report. "Something" is being done at school to get him more help but it seems very disorganised and slow and they seem loathe to tell me what they are doing!

Money-wise its going quite well.

Liz