May - living on fresh air challenge...

Frith

Hard to believe this thread is a year old!

Realising quite how unpleasant ex new man was... Thank goodness he's gone and life is getting back to normal.

Ex husband is the same as ever but I am now getting £5 per week from him via the CSA - only took 17 months! I have also received a fine from the CSA of £115 (always worth enquiring) which is going towards my new floor fund. I've made do with 2nd hand carpet downstairs for 10 years in this house and I'm saving up for some reclaimed quarry tiles. :-)

Both boys doing well, both at gymnastics but little son either is desparate to go to Beavers or gets there then refuses to get out of the car.

STILL no word from school about little son despite promises weekly that the SEN is going to phone me. As they are getting letters and reports from paediatricians etc, perhaps this will remind them?

No word from Social Services about the report they are writing. I know the prelimary investigations about my ex husband's new girlfriend ran to 260 pages (260 of the sort of information I hope never to have to read about again). So maybe its taking a long time because there is so much to wade through. In any case, I'm back to court in June when the judge will decide whether contact continues at a few hours here and there without the girlfriend present, a few hours with her and whether overnights are safe or not.

I do have a few things to look forward to! (That isn't always the case). I've sent off for a free family railcard (the only dealings I ever have with the Daily Mail) so we'll probably do another London trip. In November I'm going to a friend's 40th birthday party - in Kendal!

A few things unresolved here, but all good really. :-)

Liz

RAS

Acey

Sorry I missed this post.

You need to give several men the heave-ho before you find the right one (if at least one that is good for you). So well done for the decision.

Re the ex and his GF, that 260 pages does not sound good. It is possible for someone to grow up and change, but if she had, I do not think she would be with your ex?

Have everything crossed for you for June. Judges can be complete pillocks but at the moment I think the Baby P and other cases are making the courts and social service think a bit harder.

Frith

Back again!

The social worker was quite disappointing. Well, he was very thorough and seemed quite quick on the uptake when he spoke to me (2 hours...) The next day he came back to interview the boys and he had come straight from talking to the ex and his girlfriend. He was very frosty with me. There are years at a time unaccounted for in the girlfriend's past. She could have been in prison or having more children which were then adopted. However, the SW said, "Oh, I spoke to her and she said she moved away during those years so that's fine". I'm not sure why he is believing someone who has lied throughout to SW's, the solicitors and the court?!

Report will be out on the 12th and I'm sure it will say the ex is fine, his girlfriend is no threat to the boys etc. They always do.

Money wise, just got £70 cashback from Quidco. Saving up for reclaimed quarry floor tiles in the living room, they're affordable via Ebay. Birthday on the 25th so I'm hoping for some birthday money to pay someone to put them down for me!

Also having one last shot at sorting out my final debt (with MCS). Just sent off the first template letter about claiming PPI. Sent another letter to find out what the mysterious charges were which were put on when my loan with HSBC was taken over by MCS - £3000 overnight!

Boys well - little son has seen the paediatrician and he is pulling together all the reports from the occupational therapist and the SALT and something from school and will perhaps make a diagnosis. He was assessed by SALT on Wednesday. The NHS have been great - good with little son, very helpful, all communicating with each other. School - teacher has been good, SEN woman absolutely useless, not progressing anything at all. I've been waiting 6 months for her just to phone me!

L

Frith

Moving on... the SW report won't be filed at court today. It has moved "above" the SW to their legal deparment.... Thank goodness they are really investigating it seriously!

The ex is very annoyed with this. So he has accused me (in a solicitor's letter) of child neglect. So the school nurse is coming here to weigh, measure and assess both sons to then write a report to say they are fine (which they are, neither has had a day of school yet this academic year!)

The next correspondence between solicitors accused me of stalking the ex and parking outside his house. Which is weird because he moved last week and I didn't know where to until yesterday!

*sigh*

L

Hollyberry

I have just read through this thread, and wanted to wish you all the very best. I am full of admiration for the way you have handled all this, and provided such happy and loving support for your sons. As for the ex-husband, all I can wish is karma... Take care of yourself.

Frith

Ah, where was I?

I was accused of child neglect AND stalking in June,by the ex through his solicitor. I phoned the school nurse who came out and checked the boys over, weighed and measured them and (obviously) they have not been neglected. I also phoned the police who sent a PC out who said no one has EVER accused me of stalking. It seems if you talk to the police (in person or on the phone) it generates a papertrail and there just isn't one. I also asked for my police files (not CRB check but EVERYTHING) and all they say is my car was stolen in 2006!

We went back to court (4th time this year) in mid July and I was cross examined! We were in court for over 2 hours and the judge summed up by saying my evidence had the "ring of truth" about it and the ex's hadn't. It was quite shocking to see him swear on the Bible then lie.

Anyway, the boys now see him from 10-1 on Mondays and Tuesdays and 10-1 every other Saturday. They are still not allowed to see his new girlfriend. The Section 7 report is still being written. The rubbish Social Worker who came out last time has mysteriously not had his temporary contract renewed so a different SW is booked to talk to me again.

I have heard nothing further on the ex's other court cases (for fraud) but I hope they go well!

The summer holidays have gone really well so far. We went to Wales for a few days with my family then went to meet some online friends of mine in Blackpool!

Back to court in late September or early October where the judge will decide once and for all if new girlfriend is allowed contact with my sons. Of course, the ex might be in prison by then for fraud....

Moneywise! Not so good at the moment because we went on holiday... Not overdrawn and all the bills paid so not in too bad a position, I suppose.

Just looking at changing my electricity supplier via Quidco and getting cashback from the new supplier, cashback from USwitch and making a saving anyway by going with a cheaper company. Am owed cashback for my car and house insurance and for changing my ISP so all good.

L

Frith

Back again! Got to make up for some spending over the summer holidays. (I'm not going to say overspending! The only extravagance was a day trip to Blackpool to meet some friends).

Now facing £114 bill for gymnastics (thats for both boys) and need to budget for that. Finance wise, I'm waiting to hear from HSBC if I'll get the PPI back I paid on a loan (of the ex's) year ago. Also waiting for Quidco cashback.

The boys went back to school today so the cutting back (again) starts now...

What else... Social worker report due this Friday. In the last remaining bit of the Jeremy Kyle type life the ex leads, heard he is due in court soon for fraud, car tax fraud etc. We're due back in court early October to see if his new girlfriend can have contact with my sons. I don't quite understand his obsession with this.

Little son has seen all the specialists - or so I thought! His paediatrician now wants him to see an educational psychologist. He saw a speech and language lady and scored 15 in the tests given (was supposed to get between 9 and 13) so now they are getting rather worried as to why he can't read or write despite my and school's best efforts.

I'm really rather well, mental health wise! I'm starting a college course (counselling) next week so I'll see where that leads me...


Total spend this week: £0 - but its only Monday!

Liz

beanielou

Good to hear things are ok for you & hope you enjoy your course
Eeeek to the gymnastics bill though.

Frith

Total spent this week: £0

Lovely day today, worked at school all day. This is the 4th year I have worked there so this year my younger son is in the class (2 years ago I had my older son in there!)

The difference between them is staggering. Big son is in the gifted and talented scheme (gushing and stupid title!), did extra SATS and asked the teachers so many questions they a) really liked him or b) he drove them mad.

Little son can't read, can't write and basically sat there pretending he couldn't do much else either. :-S He even got the TA to cut some paper up for him! Obviously no mention of the G and T scheme but he did go out for extra "precision teaching" and then "time to talk". He has selective mutism so at least he is quiet!

I got a bee sting out of the back of someone's neck (dad keeps bees so I'm fairly quick at that).

All good, really. Just waiting for them to come back from their father's. :-( They do Mondays and Tuesdays, 3.15 - 5.15 during term times.

Finances OK, will have to do a Sainsburys shop tomorrow. Trouble is, I need some gin. I've got the damsons and I want to start damson gin off ready to give to people as Christmas presents. One the only good year we ever had for sloes, I made enough bottles of gin to give one to every teacher and teaching assistant!

Must pay the gym bill tomorrow otherwise there will be a penalty :-(

Nothing else to report. Free day tomorrow (during school hours) so will tidy another room. Did my room from top to bottom yesterday.

And MUST get on to HSBC as to why they haven't replied to my PPI letter. Can't remember when I posted it, must find out....

L

Frith

OK. I wrote to HSBC on 18th August. Must surely be time to write again and remind them???