May - living on fresh air challenge...

RAS

Really glad you got some money back. Hope it gives you a bit of a cushion, even if your idea of money going rather well is probably most peoples' idea of living very frugally.

Sorry to learn that the ex is being a prat but the more times he gets into trouble and it is recorded, the better from your point of view. it is not good for the boys to see that sort of behaviour but at least they have no illusions about him.

Frith

Hi, RAS.

The "going rather well" was about the new relationship :-)

But the finances are fine too!

Liz

RAS

Oooh! Glad to see a smiley face on your posts

Frith

Hello, all.

The boys came back yesterday from their week with the ex and apparently he managed to start a fire "when he was syphoning petrol out of a car". So its all business as usual for him!

All very good here though. :-)

Liz

RAS

Hi

Just got back today and checked if you had posted, so glad to find you here.

Not going to ask what he was doing syphoning petrol out of a car, but....

How are the finances? Gather the friendship is going well?

Lula-Hula

Hi Acey,

have read your thread in the past but never got around to replying til now, sorry .
Had to laugh at your ex's exploits & glad to hear all going well for you at the moment, you certainly deserve it.

take care
lula x

beanielou

Pleased for you that all is going well.

Frith

Hello, everyone.

After months of silence, I had a letter from MCS this morning.

My outstanding balance to them is £9,784.40 which I am paying off at £1 per month. This odd letter is as follows:

"We are able to offer you a unique opportunity to settle your debt. If you have funds to settle the above oustanding account, please contact one of our advisors on 0500 992299.

For a short period, we are offering you a substantial discount if you are able to settle the above account in one payment. You may qualify for a discount of up to 50%.

Please contact us immediately etc etc.

As for the new man, I think I am in the process of successfully sabotaging the whole relationship due to my ptsd, lack of trust, paranoia etc. :-(

Liz

RAS

Hi

They are offering a full and final settlement - with the credit crunch, getting 50% out of you now is much better than the prospect for them of getting 100% some distant time in the future.

Really now debt doctor is back, we maybe could sort out the letter, which would cut more then half off what you owe? Then a while down the line look for an F&F deal on what is left, if they refuse to cancel the whole debt?

I recall you were looking at bank charges - did you see this http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/oft-bank-charges#hardship?
if you have not chased those charges, go for it.

As for the new man, take it easy; if you manage one decent relationship in your life, you will be doing well. Given your previous experience, you may need to try a few out before it works out. And the lack of trust and "paranoia" may be justified.

It really does take time and practice to get over PSTD - says she who is still capable for "falling off my stool" occasionally.

Personally, I could not even try for a full blown relationship at this stage unless the man really understood how easy it is to tip from OK to not OK in response to a single "innocent" action.

My poor DS can tip me into shut-off mode just by trespassing into dodgy territory; most of the time I am OK there and then something will trigger a stronger response. I have tried to explain, but it is not easy for her when I can talk about some stuff easily and other times not at all.

Frith

Hello, all.

RAS - hope you are keeping well - I've made contact with a counsellor locally and am just building up courage to phone to book the first appointment. I've done the NHS consultant psych bit and am much better than I was..... but not good enough!

I've also gone from the ptsd "no feelings about anything" to feeling marvellous and having feelings all over the place! I'm not sure I've ever managed love, lust, excitement, anger, sadness and happiness all in the space of a week since circe 2002! :-) I've not sabotaged the new relationship yet...

Anyway.... financially its all as pants as usual. Still nothing from the CSA, they've taken to hanging up when I call now. This calls for letter number 3 from my MP, I think. The car limps on, nothing else has needed replacing but tonight I have lit the woodburning stove so will be on the look out for cheap logs. I burned 4 tons last winter!

Other news - boys well, little son has gone up a grade in gymnastics and is "Star of the Week" at school (can't swear so much there, then!) Got 4 kittens to re-home - anyone know a cheap place to get a lady cat neutered?

Liz