Weekly Flylady Thread 5th May 2008

lil_me

soappie - when it comes to single parents I am very aware of how hard it is, why the decision to return to work is taken away as I was on my own when DS1 was little, while I was pregnant up until DS2 was about 8 months or so. I have a lot of respect for those who are on their own with little ones. The ones I was trying to reason with were the ones who's partner works earning enough to make them comfortable, I mean one of them her partner is on £60k a year and they are mortgage/debt free so she doesn't have to work, who are moaning constantly that they never see their children, but they choose to work for those additions they 'need' in their life and were asking how we did it. One parent after that openly admitted that she may moan that she never sees her children but she can't cope with them, that she goes to work to be away from them which I thought was really sad

soappie

lil_me wrote: »

The ones I was trying to reason with were the ones who's partner works earning enough to make them comfortable, I mean one of them her partner is on £60k a year and they are mortgage/debt free so she doesn't have to work, who are moaning constantly that they never see their children, but they choose to work for those additions they 'need' in their life and were asking how we did it. One parent after that openly admitted that she may moan that she never sees her children but she can't cope with them, that she goes to work to be away from them which I thought was really sad

I really do think that the more money you have, the less appreciative you become about things. I've done my time on sub-breadline funds. I've done my time in the homeless hostel. I have pulled myself up by my bootstraps. I did start (and still do!) earning REAL money and for a while I lived an almost 'jetset' life - eating out every night, walking out of the office at the end of the day giving a reflexive arm movement to hail a cab to take me a mile up the road. Saving the receipt for the accountant and the taxman.

But, for long stretches of time, my kids were at home and I was only there at weekends. It shows in my kids. They have insecurities. Big ones. And I occasionally beat myself up about that but then try and put it back in perspective. They are NOT drug addicts, they have NOT gone off the rails in any way shape or form (well, apart from a little time in my son's life when he hibernated for two years and got what could only be called anorexic). And I'm proud of them both. But I still have guilt. Big Guilt. But I'm learning to cope with it.

About four years ago, I realised the amount of money I was wasting on the so called 'good life' was ridiculous. The life wasn't particularly 'good' really - it was just very expensive. And, if I could turn the clock back, I would and then do things differently. I could have had my mortgage paid off five years ago.

But, me and my kids are where we are today because of our past and the mistakes I made. All I can try to do is make sure we at least stay where we are and, hopefully, ultimately, blossom into something better.

Oooh, sorry if that's too philosophical for a saturday night...

Dustykitten

Just been having a potter on some other threads and a couple of things my flying friends might be interested in:

Serena next boots till split from 21st, will be 1/2 price sunglasses

suncream before buying this year you might want to read this: (note report was in June 2006)
www.which.co.uk/press/press_topics/product_news/which_magazine/Dont_get_burnt_by_misleading_sun_screens_571_86296.jsp

Dustykitten

Hugs soappie, motherhood and guilt go together whatever your circumstances. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but not productive. We are not the person today that we were in the past when we made the decisions we did but we can make different decisions tomorrow... sorry back to surfing for me.

nicki_2

Well I've just spent £9.96 on a 100ml tube of Piz Buin 1 Day Long suncream from Asda - I originallly went to get the P20 but I decided to go with the Piz Buin as the one I got is supposed to be SPF30, it only lasts 6 hours, but thats enough for me, plus I still have a spray bottle of SPF50 from Boots from last year which so far seems to be keeping me with a healthy glow rather than the lobster look WHEN I put it on right (I missed my shoulders the other day as I was trying to get DD to apply hers at the same time so my shoulders are redder than the rest of me).

Back in the summer of 2000 I forgot to put sunlotion on my chest area and went out wearing a vest top in the middle of the day in August - I got severe sunburn (ex-MIL said it was almost bad enough to take me to hospital:o ) which has left me with a permenant red scoop neckline all year round, so I'm much more careful about putting suncream on now! Yes I still forget sometimes, but DD is good at reminding me :rotfl::rotfl:

Now I'm off to bed - I'm worn out. :wave:

lil_me

Makes interesting reading Dustykitten, thanks. I hope that and similar articles don't put parents off using any form of protection or make them say it's a waste of money but it does make you wonder how much trust you should put in anything. I only get SPF over 30, current one we're using is Ambre Solaire 50+ kids spray at home then I got the Boots Soltan roll on for school. So far neither have sunburn unlike me! I should know better, I have been very ill because of the sun before, fell asleep in the garden once with no suncream on which mean't I couldn't walk for days aswell.

soappie ((hugs)) I will always say, our past makes us who we are, no regrets x

I am wondering if DS2 has sun/heat stroke or something however. I've been encouraging him to play more on the trampoline as he just loves being outside and it's in the shade but for the second time tonight he's woken up screaming saying his throat hurts, his lips are really dry aswell. Maybe just a cold, I am sure he's had loads to drink but DS1 did say when I was trying to deal with DS2 and asking him about drinks etc that DS2 knocked one over etc so making me wonder now if that is why, I'll have to keep a check on him more tomorrow, he's usually terrible for wanting to drink too often so I don't usually need to, think I will keep a record of what he has and when making sure most of it's drank in front of me. DS1s usually the nightmre for dehydrating so we've been there with this :rotfl: oh the joy of children who seem to have no full/empty buttons. I've put a large water bottle in his bed tonight and said if he needs it to drink it, I would prefer a wet bed to a poorly child.

Anyway, suppose I should get my bill payments finished, just been working out what I can transfer where etc. I've done my meal plan which is looking ok so far, I am almost spent up for what was my GC target, definately not gone as well as I'd hoped maybe a little too brave. For some reason todays hobnobs are different, more spongey, I think I may have had the oats/flour mix wrong.

Dustykitten

Lil_me I always go 30 aswell that way if it isn't quite 30 or if you don't put enough on - the amount they put on when testing is huge compared to what a 'normal' person uses - then I hope you have compensated a bit. I lived in Australia for a while in my early 20s so really got brain washed with the slip slap slop stuff. My kids know to put cream on daily, it has always been a rule since they could walk, you want to go out in the sun you put cream on - no cream you stay in. Bit tricky with DS3 at the moment as the cream makes him itch (he gets a funny sort of rash when the tree pollen is out and has a runny nose so I guess a form of hayfever) but he will still put it on - I just make sure we wash it all off in the bath.

Hope you DS is ok by morning

Right bedtime for me now. Sleep tight flyladies x

lil_me

Dusty, I have a rule that they need to be able to 'feel' it on their skin, it's always worked for me, if they put it on and it soaks in it's not enough so more goes on, we go through loads of the stuff but I don't mind if it stops them getting burned, they have burned once when they were out with another family member and I was very cross. We have had some creams and lotions which cause reactions with the boys, especially coloured ones. Certainly sounds like hayfever or an allergy with your little one, good point actually I wonder if that's what is causing my sons sore throat, never thought of that, will pop him some piriton if he wakes and see if that solves it. He usually gets it and I never thought about it. Only downside then is he can't have his meds for his bladder issues because they clash, same goes, prefer wet beds to poorly boys. Dusty, you might have just saved the day!

soappie

Morning all

Bright and sunny here this morning - I think it's going to be a hot day! Shame the washing is just about up todate - might be able to squeeze one load out..

kazwookie

Morning Soappie

Done the ironing, and kitchen floor.

Sunny here but still dew on the grass..

Have a good day