When does your name change after marriage?

moorhen_2

Really TONS of women I know have kept their maiden ("maiden"? ha ha!) name - me included. It just makes us laugh when OH gets addressed with my surname, or I get addressed with his. And it sure sorts out the cold-callers from people you know on the telephone which can be really handy.

If we book say a restaurant and can't remember when asked who booked it, we try one name then the other at the door. Feels a bit like secret identities but really it's no different from before we were married.

We're going to flip a coin to choose the surnames when we have children. That's quite exciting, and very fair!

It's sad that I've no idea of the current names of some female friends from years back, who I'd love to find again. (Not in UK or from school/work so no joy with friendsreunited.

Also I'm a Ms as I don't see why my marital status should be of interest to utility companies, complete strangers etc!

Rant over!

moorhen_2

Thanks for the Facebook tip. I'd been resisting Facebook for ages but maybe I'll now get sucked in!

As to keeping names... Well it's a personal thing I guess. For me my name is a huge part of my identity, and it's never going to change!

badkitti

Catwoman1975 wrote: »

I don't really like my married surname. The way I see it though is that I love my husband more than my family and want to have the same name as him, not my parents. I do love my parents of course, just not as much as I love my husband. Makes me happy we are the same, as is our daughter.

As someone has said before - each to their own. I believe catwoman and i have probably discussed this before on another forum!:rotfl:

I kept my last name, though to be honest the H isn't happy. However, when we moved to do a late gap year they called us all by Mr. and Mrs. my last name as I'd done the bulk of the correspondence - so he got a taste of what it's like to be called a different name. besides - I outrank him title-wise anyways:p

I'd consider changing to a surname that we both choose that's not ours but i got really cross at people who insisted I had to change my name. its part of my identity, and for me, doesn't lesson the fact or staus of my marriage. However, there has yet to be a decision over what last name our kids will have - not willing to settle for my last name as a middle name. Perhaps an almagamation will do?

Agutka

I don't think you can make up your own surname, not without deed poll.

I had to make a decision when filling in the paperwork as to which name I wanted to have. So chose the traditional hubby's name. But I am not really using it yet. Passport is valid for years still, and costs monay, so holidays are in my maiden name. Bank I tried to change but was asked to sign my new signature and could not think what that could be so left it and never went back :rotfl:. Lots of things were associcated with Ebay and PayPal (then a large part of my hobby) and I could not face their paperwork, so left maiden name.
The only people who use my new name is the doctors (changed when I got pregnant) and ...ooooh, the government...

mjburton

I kept my own name. We disagreed on it for at least 6 months and OH was quite offended to start with.
He believed it was because I didn't like his surname, which is unusual, but I actually quite like it, but I have issues with the whole traditional reason of name changing.

I am not property to pass from my father to my husband!!

He is not expected to consider changing his name and it my name. I also refused an engagement ring - he was not expected to wear a token to say he was spoken for before the wedding (and wedding ring) so I saw no reason that I should. He thought that was odd as I love diamonds but certainly didn't complain about that one!!!

I did relent to changing to Mrs. The bank was really snotty with me as some wedding guests wrote cheques to Mr + Mrs........ Had to take marriage certificate to show we were married but I had kept my name. She was very rude as she struggled to understand anything.

Thinking of doing PhD in future though so that will sort out the Mrs bit! Ha ha ha. Think I can use whatever title I choose though. I do often use the Ms rather than Mrs, just don't tell OH :-)

badkitti

mjburton wrote: »

Thinking of doing PhD in future though so that will sort out the Mrs bit! Ha ha ha. Think I can use whatever title I choose though. I do often use the Ms rather than Mrs, just don't tell OH :-)

I've already got mine so that's why I "outrank him". I was a Ms. before the Dr. though.

Lillibet_2

I took my 1st husbands surname, it was a nightmare contacting everyone to change it & even more of a nightmare changing it back to my maiden name when we got divorced, but no way was I keeping his surname. When I re-married I refused to take my new hubbys surname for 3 reasons : 1)I don't like it (Cheeseman....Yuck!); 2) changing it is too much hassle; 3) It's bad enough trying to fit my signature of Elizabeth Evans on credit card slips, I'd never fit anything as long as Elizabeth Cheeseman on! Hubby said I should just sign my 1st inital then surname, why should I drop my christian name in favour of his surname I asked! It's been a bit of a bone of contention ever since, but no way am I giving in, even though our son has Hubbys surname & it can cause confusion.

LondonDiva

It wasn't until relatively recently that it was standard for a wife to take the husband's name as a default. Prior in the landowning / aristocractic families, it was as common for the husband to take the wife's name especially if there was a likelyhood of the name dying out or as part of the marriage contracts.

That's the reason for the majority of the double barrelled names we have.

Unless I'm really attracted to the surname, I'd be keeping mine & the kids getting both surnames in the Spanish version, so Jane Emma Brown Smith.

I know two couples where the husband has taken the wife's surname and went through the same process as a woman would go through to make changes. A lot of those I know just keep their own names.

Js_Other_Half

We hypenated ours when we got married - bless OH

do_it_today!

Hi all :hello:
not changed my name - have had no desire until now... but thats for the wrong reasons (falling out with father! so considering it now!) also babe on the way so need to confirm an arrangement on that one!