Merry's Bankrupt Life - OR Interview tomorrow - 07.07.08!!

SuziQ

kreditkruncher wrote: »

I'm glad it's all over for you but all these congratulations are really making me mad. It's hardly anything to congratulate is it? A job well done? It all seems way to easy to walk away from responsibilities these days.

I have nothing personal against you but the whole thing just seems wrong. Your earnings are so high, you are hardly on the breadline, you really should never have been allowed to do this

Must be quite lonely up there on sanctimonious hill!

You have missed the point many times whilst reading(skimming?) Merry's diary.

I know what it's like to be crippled by a DH's csa payments. For us my earnings were used to force my DH to pay the maximum amount to his ex (who married a very wealthy man 6 days after their decree absolute!). I was paying half my wages out in childcare-but the CSA didn't factor that into the calculation,I had to leave my job because I couldn't afford to work! We were paying her £200 per month more than the remainder of my wages after paying childcare.This was whilst they allowed my ex to get away with not paying a penny-and he hasn't now for 9 years!

These situations are even more complicated than they appear when posters give loads of info like Merry.

I think you will find that the congratulations are for Merry taking a brave step and tryimg to move forward with her life,not for going BR as such.

Had she not gone BR-what would the alternative have been? Repossession would have occured anyway,eventually more and more CJ's which couldn't have been paid,bailifs arriving to sieze goods-how would that have been for the children?
BR is an open formal admission that mistakes have been made and that you are taking an irrevocable step with many ramifications to try to move on.

I cannot believe KK that you have never made a mistake in your life-whilst they may not be financial,in the eyes of the Lord no one sin is greater than any other and your attitide singles you out as a very judgemental spiteful person. If BR offends you so much I suggest you don't come on to a thread entitled 'bankruptcy and living with it' !

Merry_Gentry

Wow, SuziQ, remind me not to get on your bad side!! :T:T

SuziQ wrote: »

M
I know what it's like to be crippled by a DH's csa payments. For us my earnings were used to force my DH to pay the maximum amount to his ex (who married a very wealthy man 6 days after their decree absolute!). I was paying half my wages out in childcare-but the CSA didn't factor that into the calculation,I had to leave my job because I couldn't afford to work! We were paying her £200 per month more than the remainder of my wages after paying childcare.This was whilst they allowed my ex to get away with not paying a penny-and he hasn't now for 9 years!

I think the awful thing about the CSA is that often it seems to penalise the people who are happy to pay child support, and doesn't help the people who are suffering from those who have run away from those responsibiities.


Hats off to ya mate - I know when you merge families, you often merge problems but the kids are so worth it! :beer:

Merry_Gentry

Tis 3.00 p.m. - someone pass me the Immodium! :eek: :eek:

mickey66_2

berk KK thinks.

im pretty sure im about to go down the BR road:( ,after speaking to the CCCS, but can you answer a question for me,i have skimmed through your diary but joined late,and as theres alot to read i may have missed it!,anyway what happened regarding your property?,because we're in the same boat,have a mortgage and are looking to move into rented accomodation,did you give it up or did it get repossessed?

p.s just going to pick my kids up!

many thanks

Merry_Gentry

Hi Mickey66

We stopped paying the mortgage last month to save the money to go BR and move into rented. We had to pay a month's rent in advance, admin fees, references, etc. So far, we have spoken to Northern Rock and told them we are going for Voluntary Repossession but not heard anything back. I made a note of one of the posts which says when you hand back the keys to the mortgage company what not to agree to sign, because they might try to make us liable for the shortfall if they sell at a loss.

We move in this weekend :eek: although not done much in the way of packing (too busy panicking ) We have also had to buy a few things for the new house but are keeping a stringent track on them so we can prove to the OR that they were needed.

I will let you know how it goes with the mortgage company, and hope this helps a bit

SuziQ

Wow, SuziQ, remind me not to get on your bad side!! :T:T

I hope I haven't given the worng impression-I'm actually a Christian but still get riled like any other human being and find it totally distasteful when individuals 'cast the first stone'.
I am in a difficlut position myself through trusting my husband,may lose my house etc due to his debts. I hope and pray I don't have to take the action you have,as it most certainly isn't an easy path as you well know!-however if my husband goes BR-and as he has a company and is currently refusing to let it liquidate he could be forced to-I may well find myself in a position of no choice.

What KK doesn't seem to appreciate is that things happen as well as people making mistakes. He may have a thousand in the bank,but something could happene to him that requires fifteen hundred-thus starts the slippery slope!

I don't wish ill on anyone and I try not to judge people-I may have commited a sin in judging KK and you can't force people to be reasonable and tolerant. I feel sorry for him!

Merry_Gentry

Don't worry, SusieQ, you haven't given the wrong idea at all.

Merry_Gentry

* we shouldn't have opened the cashminder accounts before Tuesday, so although we are allowed to have access to the money, they will be frozen.

* am calling Co-Op now to open another cashminder account that I can use from now on.

* let her know about moving house this weekend, and the new PAYG mobile number so she can contact me to arrange an interview.

* she was really nice and helpful, said we were very organised but just jumped the gun a little bit

So need to chop up the lovely green cards we already have, set up the direct debits all over again, and le my hr depatment know the new account number for my salary :rolleyes:

SuziQ

I think the awful thing about the CSA is that often it seems to penalise the people who are happy to pay child support, and doesn't help the people who are suffering from those who have run away from those responsibiities.

This is so true. Of course my husband wanted to help support his 2 boys,but his ex gave up her job as soon as he left (due to her many affairs-the last being with a neighbour who she quickly married after the divorce)she said to 'look after my poor poor children'. (They were both at school,not babies.)It was really to make the CSA think she needed far more support-she failed to mention to the CSA or DS that the guy had sold his own house and moved in with her. Soon after they bought a house together-he immediately 'lost' his job. They subsequeantly got prosecuted for benefit fraud,but my DH didn't get any money returned to him,despite the false info she gave for 2 years prior to her new husband losing his job.

I am now living on income support whilst trying to get back into work-not easy as our youngest is Autistic and doesn't settle well in childcare.

What I have found on this site is that there are many well meaning,kind people in this world who often have very tough rows to plough.You get a small number of people on here who are obviously looking for ways to cheat the system but they are imho few and far between,most are just ordinary folk like me trying to survive in a tough world.

One of the debts I have is from a building project gone badly wrong-the builder built so badly the council condemned it and ordered it to be rebuilt. We hadn't paid the last 4 grand of the cost as the builder had walked away,refusing to finish the project. He took US to court for the remainder and we then had 2 years of hell with solicitora,barristers,waiting to go to court etc. Eventually we ran out of money and were forced to accept a derisory 4 grand from the builder. Had we recieved that at the start, we could have swallowed the extra 3 grand it took to put the work right (11 in total),as it was we had spent over 20 grand on the solicitor and court fees as the builder refused every attempt to settle.

The £25,000 loan I had to take out to cover all of that is crippling me and I have yet to find out whether the huge unemployment cover premiums will have been worth it now I am U/E!

What I am trying to point out is that THINGS HAPPEN! We would all like to have total control of our lives but it simply ain't that simple and I am sure that the law of averages will prove that point to KK at some point!

Merry_Gentry

Talk about killer set of circumstances Susie, that sounds like a nightmare come to life! :eek: I really hope you manage to get things sorted out for you and your family - life is tough enough without the additional stuff that rises up to kick us down