Merry's Bankrupt Life - OR Interview tomorrow - 07.07.08!!

Merry_Gentry

G-G wrote: »

You mean i've been chatting to a filthy commoner these past few days?! ergh.. no no no! I feel sick.. !

Just call me your highness from now on..

I'l have you know my filth is of the highest calibre!!! :rotfl:

Merry_Gentry

Friday 30th May 2008

Came home and my electron cards have arrived from the Co-op. So I got out my purse and my credit card holder and removed every single card. Gave them a loving stroke, then put them into my 'folder of doom' for after going BR when they will be destroyed.

Signed my new VISA Electron cards from the Co-op and put them into my purse. Now all it holds are my loyalty cards, a Blockbuster rental card and my library card! :eek: Feels rather empty but hey, at least I know I won't 'accidentally' spend something I don't have! :rolleyes:

Just taken my shiny new sim out of the packaging and sending text messages to family and friends letting them know the new mobile number. Not sure how long it will take for the old one to be cut off but don't want to be 'mobile-less' if it happens suddenly.

First problem - I can't top up using the Electron card. I need to talk to my bank to get them to authorise it. That's ok, will just pop down to the Co-op later and buy a top up card.

Am doing my best not to fall into the fridge and eat everything in sight - why can't I be one of those people who can't eat when they're stressed?! :rolleyes:

alial

Hi Merry

I've been following your thread for the past couple of weeks now, and just want to say that I am in awe of how much you have achieved since starting your diary. It looks like things are starting to come together now - even though it probably doesn't feel like it (I really understand the fridge thing!).

I have a similar(ish) situation with my OH, in that love may not be enough. My heart goes out to you - it's such a sad realisation.

This is my very first post; I'm thinking of starting up a diary - just don't know where to begin - but just wanted to let you know how much help yours has been to me before I do.

All the very best for the future

Merry_Gentry

Thank you so much honey!!! As for the diary, blimey just chuck down how you feel - gotta tell ya sometimes I think I type complete gobbledegook but better on here than messing up my head! :eek:

I always wanted to believe that love could fix everything, but I know now that it doesn't. But you know what? Me and H are probably gonna be way better friends with each other because of all of this - he's a really decent guy, a fabulous dad, and a stronger man than he realises. I would rather he be happy with someone else than miserable with me, and I think I do make him miserable because what I want isn't who he is.


Anything I can do to help, just gimme a yell! We have spent the morning brainstorming about cars, the new house, rotas for the kids - you name it, we've been figuring out what we want to do about it And as for the fridge, well yesterday I got some jeans I won on ebay and I couldn't do them up Was completely gutted but was a lightbulb moment for exactly how much !!!! I have been consuming whilst this has been going on, so the fridge will no longer be my enemy because I intend to get this weight off me!

alial

I will start that diary very soon!! Was really nervous about writing that first post - stupid huh?

Re the fridge - I shouldn't be too hard on yourself not getting those jeans on just yet - it's difficult not to eat when stressed - it's that comfort thing isn't it? Just do it really slowly - I always make the mistake of wanting to do it all immediately and then get disheartened.

What you said about your OH, I couldnt have put it better myself - so true. I thought if you had love you could do anything. I just didn't factor in the fact that if you're pulling in opposite directions - especially financially - and the trust goes, doesn't matter how much you love them, the relationship cannot survive.

At the moment we're not getting anywhere - I think we have to go BR, but OH says he can't. He's looking for a new contract/job (not had one for 2 months now - hence financial situation seriously worsened) and don't think he can get contract if BR. We're just sitting here waiting for him to get job now....I don't do sitting and waiting for stuff to happen very well! And then if we go BR we both have to find places to live - have agreed we have to part ways. I have worse debts cos I kept getting loans and credit cards to cover what he kept spending unfortunately - stupid way to deal with it but I thought I could sort it all - hmmm. Not such a superwoman after all :rolleyes:

Sorry burbling on a bit - suppose I better get that diary started.....

It does help just writing it down - even if it does show what a mess it all is!

Hope it's going well this morning sorting all that stuff

blind-as-a-bat_2

Merry_Gentry wrote: »

I always wanted to believe that love could fix everything, It can.....once you figure out what love actually is/means and as that constantly changes espeicially in a relationship thats easier said than done but I know now that it doesn't. But you know what? Me and H are probably gonna be way better friends with each other because of all of this - he's a really decent guy, a fabulous dad, and a stronger man than he realises. I would rather he be happy with someone else than miserable with me, and I think I do make him miserable because what I want isn't who he is.


!

What does HE think? Sometimes us guys are happy to be miserable with the right person I know i would rather be miserable with my OH than happy or miserable without her

Ok that makes no sense but you said just to throw your thoughts on the thread so i did:o

Merry_Gentry

alial wrote: »

What you said about your OH, I couldnt have put it better myself - so true. I thought if you had love you could do anything. I just didn't factor in the fact that if you're pulling in opposite directions - especially financially - and the trust goes, doesn't matter how much you love them, the relationship cannot survive.

That is so the thing - when the trust goes how do you get it back? Even with the best will in the world, how do you stop yourself from throwing stuff in people's faces when you're rowing? And the pulling in opposite directions is just so flippin painful - both of you think you're doing the right thing, but it's not gelling!

alial wrote: »

At the moment we're not getting anywhere ......I don't do sitting and waiting for stuff to happen very well! And then if we go BR we both have to find places to live - have agreed we have to part ways. I have worse debts cos I kept getting loans and credit cards to cover what he kept spending unfortunately - stupid way to deal with it but I thought I could sort it all - hmmm. Not such a superwoman after all :rolleyes:

Ditto!!! I find it hard to sit back and wait - I want to be in control of things, which sometimes is good but other times leads me to do things too quickly, but at least I feel in control :rolleyes:

As for finding somewhere to live, again it's a difficult one. If you're going BR it's probably best to find somewhere that's happy to rent to undischarged bankrupts. And if you really feel it's time to part ways - deep down I think we know when that time has come - then just remember that even though you're not superwoman you are a strong woman and you will get through this. (((HUGS)))

Merry_Gentry

blind-as-a-bat wrote: »

What does HE think? Sometimes us guys are happy to be miserable with the right person I know i would rather be miserable with my OH than happy or miserable without her

Ok that makes no sense but you said just to throw your thoughts on the thread so i did:o

Ah well I wouldn't want to say what he thinks - (a) cos he reads this too, and (b) cos I often get it wrong, and (c) because in the end I think we have reached the end of the road, and I don't see a way back.

I don't think I'll ever understand the way men think, but I guess that goes both ways!

blind-as-a-bat_2

Merry_Gentry wrote: »

Ah well I wouldn't want to say what he thinks - (a) cos he reads this too, and (b) cos I often get it wrong, and (c) because in the end I think we have reached the end of the road, and I don't see a way back.

I don't think I'll ever understand the way men think, but I guess that goes both ways!

It was more a thought to talk about with your OH not post a reply too,sorry

Its a hard thing to say anything as there is so much you have held back on saying (and im not prying) Its just reading through your posts whith the little you have said it doesnt sound like all is lost, there is too much thought for one another, at least from your posts anyway, it just doesnt sound as if you really want to give up yet deep down

Sorry i dont want to over step the mark or upset you, thats just what i see reading your posts But as i said theres a lot i dont know so............

Merry_Gentry

Nah, you're ok BaaB. I tend to throw a lot of stuff out, and am happy for people to comment so don't worry about upsetting me.