I've just found a lump in my breast

Dumyat

I'm so sorry to read of your distress....and hope that you will recieve good news next week. I dont think its sad to phone the samaritans...I think you were very resourceful and sensible to realise you needed someone to off-load on.

I saw further back in the thread you were contemplating private care....glad you decided against it...NHS is bad at a lot of things...but breast care is one of its better departments.
I worked in a department where the fine needle breast biopsies were done using ultrasound guidance....and they are "fine" needles and most women did not find it too uncomfortable.

Bendybops19

If you need to talk to some one again whilst your hubbie isnt around, give them the samaritans another call. Did you feel better after letting it all out?

From what i have heard, it really isnt painful, more uncomfortable than painful.

While your waiting for the appt to come around, induldge in chocolate and anything else that makes you feel good

Ember999

I have just awoken from slumber, can you believe that? I didn't go to bed until after 2am and lay in bed reading Take-A-Break and Chat. I must have drifted off to sleep some time after 4am and awoke to see the time was twelve noon :eek: First thing I did was feel my left breast and yes, the little ****** is still there! I douced myself in tea-tree oil prior to getting into bed and hoped this little wonder oil would work it's magic over-night but alas, this lump is a persistant little, shall we say 'lump' to be polite. However, my language has been a lot more colorful these past 2 days and calling it lump is very difficult when I can think of so many more appropriate names for it.
My husband has been marvellous throughout all this. He is on nights this week, 12 hour shifts and he is supposed to go to bed at 5pm to get up at 11pm to start work at mignight. It was almost 7pm last night before he went to bed and when I went to wake him up only half an hour later with the terrors he was lovely. He reassured me it was just a cyst and spent time telling (yet again!) that the lovely 'nurse' who works in the mamagram dept of whatever Hospital she works in told me yesterday in a very lengthy (thank you my angel) PM that it WAS probably just a cyst from what I had told her and that everything was going to be okay. I am going to owe a lot of gratitude to a lot of people when this s**t is all over, my husband, that nurse, all you people who are beside me, helping me, keeping me going. This is truly the hardest moment of my life. Tuesday seems an age away and yet it is so close.
I do feel somewhat more cheerful today, I am blessed in so many ways, I am going to try to start counting my blessings today instead of feeling sorry for myself. Self pity has been my best friend these past 24 hours and it is eating me away. I need to shake that off. I also need to eat some food today. I lost half a stone in the following Plymouth's death on the 5th August and now have lost a further half a stone over the past 2 days. I really cannot afford to get any thinner, non of my clothes fit me anymore, the same pair of jeans are getting rewashed (they were smallest pair i had) and i am sick of the sight of them. Skirt waistbands hang off me etc. I am too thin now. Hubby said he will force-feed me if I don't eat and I know he will, he is a man of his word! He bought me my country cottage in Scotland like he promised me didn't he?
Who knows what I am going to do about that. I have done nothing this week since finding the lump. I have organised no removals, sorted nothing. Paperwork is piling up from Solicitors etc. and we are gonna be in bother soon if I don't get my !!!!!! shifted and get on with life. Date of entry for cottage is 14th September, 1 week away and I should be so happy right now and I am so sad, life just isn't fair is it?
Just read all I have wrote, the words keep spilling forth, this is starting to read like a diary of my pain, MSE is becoming my crutch, my life-line. I need to start getting back to Money-Saving too! I have an Egg card due to end it's 0% rate on 1st October, (thank you Martin - for the text reminding me!) and just set it up to go to Virgin 0%. Stoozing was my 'fun' way of making money etc. seems so pointless now, but will press on regardless.
I am determined to kick this low feeling in the !!!!!! today. I am actually going to have a smile on my face for when my poor husband comes in. He deserves that with all the supoort he has given me and so do you all.....
I will work on feeling more positive, I promise.

Ember xx

Allexie

Ember999 wrote:

...... The needled part is very worrying. Someone mentioned that it is exceedingly painful. I am dreading all of it, but if I leave that Hospital next tuesday and all it is is a harmless cyst I will be happy to suffer the pain and humiliation that I am to face. Thank You for your informative and helpful post.

Hi Ember

Dunno if it helps much hearing of the experiences of others but here goes....

I have had those needle biopsies/aspirations on five separate occasions now. Each lump was a completely different experience...one was a flat saucer shape, two were a pea-shape, one was more broad bean-shape and the other was more of an indistinct mass. Apart from one they have always been innocent fluid-filled cysts. Each time I had the needle thingy and only once did I feel any pain and that was because a hard casing had formed around the lump...but even that pain was easily bearable. In fact I found it fascinating, watching on the ultra sound screen, as the needle removed the fluid (and the problem!). On the last occasion the doctor found a few more tiny ones that I hadn't been aware of and he swiftly dealt with those as well.

The one that wasn't fluid was surgically removed just two days later, (I had already been told that it was benign but they wanted to remove it just in case it turned nasty later). Amazingly you cannot now tell that anything has been done!

Just something to be aware of...on one of my 'visits' the doctor hit a blood vessel which then leaked a bit on my white top on the way home......so, a multi-coloured top might be a good idea on the day!

Finally, as for 'humiliation'......that just won't happen! Please be assured that you will be treated with the utmost kindness and consideration....as has already been said...this is one thing that the NHS does brilliantly.

XXX

shelly

Hi Ember. Reading your post today has made me all goosebumpy.

I know its hard but try not to think about it. Immerse yourself in paperwork for the move. Its not going to go away if you think about it and its not going to go away if you don't. That might sound harsh to some but Iv'e been there and I know what your going through. Don't think about needle biopsies....you might not need one. (I didn't) Like someone said before....the NHS are rubbish in some depts but I found the nurses who dealt with me were excellent.

Try and stay positive. Don't let this get you down. Be strong.

shelly xxx

Ember999

Allexie wrote:

Hi Ember

Dunno if it helps much hearing of the experiences of others but here goes....

I have had those needle biopsies/aspirations on five separate occasions now. Each lump was a completely different experience...one was a flat saucer shape, two were a pea-shape, one was more broad bean-shape and the other was more of an indistinct mass. Apart from one they have always been innocent fluid-filled cysts. Each time I had the needle thingy and only once did I feel any pain and that was because a hard casing had formed around the lump...but even that pain was easily bearable. In fact I found it fascinating, watching on the ultra sound screen, as the needle removed the fluid (and the problem!). On the last occasion the doctor found a few more tiny ones that I hadn't been aware of and he swiftly dealt with those as well.

The one that wasn't fluid was surgically removed just two days later, (I had already been told that it was benign but they wanted to remove it just in case it turned nasty later). Amazingly you cannot now tell that anything has been done!

Just something to be aware of...on one of my 'visits' the doctor hit a blood vessel which then leaked a bit on my white top on the way home......so, a multi-coloured top might be a good idea on the day!

Finally, as for 'humiliation'......that just won't happen! Please be assured that you will be treated with the utmost kindness and consideration....as has already been said...this is one thing that the NHS does brilliantly.

XXX

Hi Allexie,

Yes, it does help hearing about ALL your individual experiences, I have been so frightened because of the 'not knowing' aspect of everything. I have never experienced anything like this in my life before and knowledge is calming me, easing my worries somewhat. The mind imagines all sorts when it doesn't know, so yes, I am grateful for every experience that has been posted on here. It is helping me to deal with what I am going to experience on Tuesday.
Thanks Allexie xx

James240

honey!!!!!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Ive sent u a PM today asking u how were ...... i didnt have a clue as to u worrying over this hun xxx u should have emailed me x u were there for me when i was worrying over my health, i want to be there for u hun x

My Heart goes out to u hun x My mother had breast cancer and i know the worry u are going thorugh as i was with her every step of the way. please get in contact with me ember xxx

All My Love

James x

Ember999

A very nice thing just happened, a very special lady from here - with the most wonderful Scottish accent, left me a PM prior to setting off on her holiday. She asked me to call her, so I did. She spoke to me at length for 26 minutes from the seat of her car whilst being driven to her holiday destination. She gave info, support, told me to call my lump 'my cyst' which she assured me IT IS as she has had 2 and she knows all what I am going through etc. and also game me a gentle kick up the butt to get out there, look for stuff for my new cottage, buy a bottle of champers ready to celebrate on Tuesday when I get the good news and so much more...especially to forget about my cyst until Tuesday and get on with my life.

I just wanted to tell you all about a wonderful lady who has taken time out from her holiday to talk to me, a stranger on MSE. I guess I am no longer a stranger to this lady as she has offered to talk to me tonight (so I don't need to talk to the Samartians again) and right through up until Tuesday. What a woman. I am filling up with tears at her kindness and cried when I got off the phone. That someone would take time-out from a holiday to be there for me is amazing and just wanted to share that with you.

Ember999

James240 wrote:

honey!!!!!!! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Ive sent u a PM today asking u how were ...... i didnt have a clue as to u worrying over this hun xxx u should have emailed me x u were there for me when i was worrying over my health, i want to be there for u hun x

My Heart goes out to u hun x My mother had breast cancer and i know the worry u are going thorugh as i was with her every step of the way. please get in contact with me ember xxx

All My Love

James x

I'm sorry James, it was hard to tell you as you are a guy. I didn't mean to not share this with you, I have not been myself these past 24 hours, fear, worry, all sorts of stuff has had me walking around in a trance. I am still not even out of my pyjamas yet today as I have been so depressed last few days but I am getting there, support is all around me, but I do need you, so very much.
Ember xx

Ember999

I feel so much better after reading my latest messages of support and talking with my 'angel' on the phone, so I am going to go off and get dressed and go out shopping just like she said I should do. I'm going to go look for some trinkets for my new cottage and I am going to splash out on a bottle of champers to look at with anticipation of the enjoyment of drinking it on Tuesday
I think I feel better

I'm going shopping xx